Could you help me proofread my English mistakes ? Part one

Question

There are many people that came from their province to big cities , because in their cities there are not neither technology nor universities that they need to succeed in their life. That is, because living in a big city has many different advantages as to have a great opportunity to grow as professional, to get a good job, and of course to have succeed in the life.

First of all, studying in a big city is to have a great opportunity to study a career because in it there are the best colleges and universities, such as the Catholic University and others. If the student lives in a small city, he/she needs more money to study a career. Second, many opportunities to get more and good jobs, because in the capital is the manager of all the jobs and in it there are the big companies.

May, por favor, correcta ortografía también en el título, gracias - 00494d19, Oct 25, 2011

Heidita, por favor, podrías decirme como hacerlo?, gracias - maylegoas, Oct 26, 2011

Answer 1

Hi May

You could do it like this. I hope it helps you.

There are many people who leave their home town to live in big cities, because in their home town there is not the technology nor the universities that they need to succeed in their life. Living in a big city has many of the different advantages needed to have the opportunity to grow as a professional, to get a good job, and of course to have success in life.

First of all, studying in a big city is to have a great opportunity to study for a career because in it there are the best colleges and universities, such as the Catholic University and others. If the student lives in a small city, he/she needs more money to study for a career. Second, many opportunities to get more good jobs exist, because in the cities most of the good jobs there are with big companies.

PS in English we often use "they" instead of he/she - I know it sounds wrong but we do it

PS "career" in English refers to the what one does after studying.

Thanks jan-hill - maylegoas, Oct 25, 2011

de nada May - ian-hill, Oct 25, 2011

Answer 2

A few corrections. Good job overall.

There are many people that came from their province/s to big cities , because in their cities there are not neither the technology nor the universities that they need to succeed in their life. That is, because living in a big city has many different advantages**, such** as to have a great opportunity to grow as professional, to get a good job, and of course to have succeed success in the life.

First of all, studying in a big city provides is to have a great opportunity to study a career because in it there are the best colleges and universities, such as the Catholic University and others. If the student lives in a small city, he/she needs more money to study a career. Second, there are many opportunities to get more and good jobs, because in the capital is cities are the managers of all the jobs employers and in it them there are the big companies.

Italicized comments:

province : consider using provinces instead- unless the people are all coming from one province.

study: In both cases, consider using learn instead. The first time, I'd use "learn" because I had already used "studying" in the same sentence. There is nothing wrong with your use of the word "study" there, but "learn" is better useage.

In the second case, again, "learn" sounds better, even though "study" is grammatically correct.

capital / cities : I changed capital to cities. Were we talking about the capital? I thought we were talking about any big city. So when you said, "the capital" it seemed out of place.

Goyo - how does one do a "strikethrough" ? - ian-hill, Oct 25, 2011

thanks Goyo, muy buena tu forma de corregir - maylegoas, Oct 25, 2011

Answer 3

Goyo - how does one do a "strikethrough" ? - ian-hill 3 mins ago flag

This excellent work by Izanoni will show you how: How to Make Your Posts More Colorful