Could you help me proofreading my mistakes in my essay?

Question

The advantages of studying a foreign language should be considered for all Students. In our country is necessary that students learn two languages. Our Universities require that their students know two languages to graduate; to study other language not only is good for their studies but also for the future of their life. Studying a foreign language has different advantages.

First of all, students that know a foreign language can graduate in their University because this is a requirement to graduate. Furthermore, in our country, a bilingual professional is bound to get a good job. Moreover, they have the advantage of enjoying their travels better because they can communicate easily with other students and they can make new friends faster.

To sump up, nowadays is necessary that our students stay at the forefront of global developments to good of our country, so the advantages of studying a foreign language has different advantages not only to their studies but also to their future.

Thanks

Answer 1

May, in the short time I have been reading your English essays you have improved a great deal. Congratulations!

The advantages of studying a foreign language should be considered for all students. In our country it is necessary that students learn two languages. Our Universities require that their students know two languages to graduate. To study another language not only is good for their studies but also for their future. Studying a foreign language has many different advantages.

First of all, students that know a foreign language can graduate in their University because this is a requirement to graduate. (I think it would be better just to say: First of all, learning a foreign language is a requirement for graduation.) Second, in our country, bilingual professionals are bound to get a good job. (That's a nice expression, but it might be more accurate to say "are more likely to get a good job.) Moreover, they have the advantage of enjoying their travels more because they can communicate easily with other students and they can make new friends faster.

To sum up, nowadays it is necessary that our students stay at the forefront of global developments to good of our country, (I forgot to say, that "stay at the forefront of global developments to the good of our country" sounds awkward, besides the fact that it for the good of our country.) (I think it sounds better to say, "Nowadays students must stay at the forefront of global developments") so the advantages of studying a foreign language are a benefit not only to their studies but also to their future.

thanks Jeremias specially for encouraging me - maylegoas, Oct 25, 2011

Answer 2

The advantages of studying a foreign language should be considered for all Students. (No capital needed; write "students")

In our country (must add "it" between "country" and "is") is necessary that students learn two languages. Our Universities (again, no capital needed; write "universities") require that their students know two languages to graduate; to study other (another) language not only is good for their studies but also for the future of their life. Studying a foreign language has different (not incorrect, but "many" would likely be a better adjective) advantages.

First of all, students that know a foreign language can graduate in their University ("university") because this is a requirement to graduate. Furthermore, in our country, a bilingual professional is bound to get a good job. Moreover, they have the advantage of enjoying their travels better ("enjoying...better" is incorrect, edit this) because they can communicate easily with other students and they can (while not incorrect, "they can" is not needed) make new friends faster. (Also not incorrect, but the beginning phrases are repetitive. Remove either "moreover" or "furthermore.")

To sump up (sump up?" I think you mean "to sum it up." While not incorrect, a better phrase would be "in summary"), nowadays is necessary that our students stay at the forefront of global developments to (replace "to" with "for the") good of our country, so the advantages of studying a foreign language has different advantages not only to their studies but also to their future.

Hope this helps! If you're having trouble understanding the comments and edits, I'll attempt to write them in Spanish. =) Very nice essay, by the way!

Espero que esto te ayude! Si usted está teniendo dificultades para la comprensión los comentarios y ediciones, yo trataré de escribir en español. =)

You are mixing formal and infomal (te and usted) - 0074b507, Oct 25, 2011

escribir - 0074b507, Oct 25, 2011

Should it be "usted ayude"? Thanks for helping. =) And ah yes, "escriber" was a typo. - LemonTea, Oct 25, 2011

thanks Lemon Tea, you can tell me with the informal form. - maylegoas, Oct 25, 2011

In Spanish: Espero que esto te ayude! Si estas teniendo dificultades para la comprensión los comentarios y ediciones, trataré de escribir en español. - maylegoas, Oct 25, 2011

Thanks for the correction, I'll remember that. =) - LemonTea, Oct 25, 2011