mi profesor mando a escribir un draft cual es el error?

Question

nowadays, estudying a foreign language have some advantages.In addition,people will have more opportunities.First of all, they can work in a foreign language company. Also,they could meet new friends;from the internet or countrie.Besides,people will travel around the world.An example of travel is that they will speak without problems wiht people of that country.Furthermore,they could teach in private or public school even at the university if they have a master degree.In brief,there are some advantages when they studying a foreign language that improve their life.

Answer 1

Hola!

nowadays, estudying a foreign language have some advantages.In addition,people will have more opportunities.First of all, they can work in a foreign language company. Also,they could meet new friends;from the internet or countrie.Besides,people will travel around the world.An example of travel is that they will speak without problems wiht people of that country.Furthermore,they could teach in private or public school even at the university if they have a master degree.In brief,there are some advantages when they studying a foreign language that improve their life.

Nowadays, studying a foreign language has some advantages. In addition For example, people will have more opportunities. First of all, they can work in a foreign language company. Also, they could meet new friends from the Internet or different countries. Besides People will be able to travel around the world. An example of what they can do in their travels is speak without problems with people natives of that country. Furthermore, they could teach in private or public schools**, or even at** the university, if they have a master degree. In brief, there are some many advantages that benefit the life of a person when they study a foreign language.

You were getting a little "transition-happy" [meaning you used too many transitions], so I suggest taking some out. Other than that, there were some small errors I fixed. I added some short phrases to make the sentences flow a little better.

Overall, it was very good. Bien hecho!

thanks so much you hepl me a lot¡¡ - Eli22, Oct 16, 2011

You're welcome, Eli ! - SonrisaDelSol, Oct 16, 2011

Answer 2

Nowadays, studying a foreign language has some advantages. In addition, people will have more opportunities. First of all, they can work in a foreign language company. Also, they could meet new friends from the internet or other countries. Besides, people will travel around the world. An example of travel is that they will speak without problems with people of that country. Furthermore, they could teach in private or public school even at the university if they have a master's degree. In brief, there are some advantages when they study a foreign language that will improve their life.

Hi Eli! Welcome to the forum! Great job. I fixed some spaces in the commas and periods. This is a very good paragraph!

thanks you,my classmate tell me about this page¡¡¡ - Eli22, Oct 16, 2011