¿Este texto esta bien / This text is correct? Please correct my English:)

Question

The personality of the people is the most important thing when you know a new person , you can know whether it is a sincere person,friendly,educated. You can also know how is a person through the voice . A person with a deep voice will have a personality ambitious or too strong. The appearance is important to know as is a person. The attitude of the people it is important to look for work, because if a person has a negative attitude would be difficult to find work or to be able to meet new people.

La personalidad de las personas es lo más importante cuando conoces a una persona nueva , tu puedes saber si es una persona sincera,amable,educada. Tambien puedes saber como es una persona a través de la voz . Una persona con una voz grave tendrá una personalidad ambiciosa o fuerte. La apariencia es importante para saber como es una persona. La actitud de las personas es importante a la hora de buscar trabajo , porque si una persona tiene una actitud negativa tendría difícil encontrar trabajo o poder conocer a nuevas personas.

tú (not necessary) también - 0074b507, Sep 17, 2011

Juan, try "Is this text correct?" in your title : ) - SonrisaDelSol, Sep 17, 2011

Answer 1

¡Hola, Juan! Aquí están mis correciones. Tu inglés es excelente. ¡Bien hecho!

En el azul, verás mis razones por qué cambié algo. Desgraciadamente, mi español no es suficientemente bueno para decirtelas en el español. Por eso, las daré en el inglés. A pesar de todo, espero que mis corrections te ayuden.

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The personality of the people is the most important thing when you know a new person , you can know whether it is a sincere person,friendly,educated.

The personality of a person is the most important thing when you meet a new person. You will know whether he/she is sincere, friendly, or educated.

You do not need the definite article "the" here. Also, "people" indicates more than 1 person. Based on your context, I assumed you were only referring to 1 person. Therefore, I changed "people" to "person". "Know" is not used in this way in English; you should change "know" to "meet", encounter", or "...you are introduced to..." (meet sounds best). After "new person", put a period. Otherwise, you will have a run-on sentence, which are big no-no's in English. Also, "can know" should be replaced with the future tense, which is "will know". We do not use "it" when referring to people (well, most of the time, anyway...); we can use "they", but if we are referring to one person, we should use "he or she".

You can also know how is a person through the voice .

You can also know the personality of a person through their voice.

"How is a person" is not correct. You should say "the personality of a person". If you really wanted to use "how", you would have to say "how a person is", but that should be avoided. It is frowned upon in formal writing.

A person with a deep voice will have a personality ambitious or too strong.

For example, a person with a deep voice will have a strong and ambitious personality.

Try using a transitional phrase (for example/por ejemplo). It makes your writing "flow" much more smoothly.

The appearance is important to know as is a person.

The appearance of a person is also important when determining his or her personality.

Again, try some transitional words. I used "also". You can change it to what Qfreed suggested (judging a person). You can also use "determining his or her personality".

The attitude of the people it is important to look for work, because if a person has a negative attitude would be difficult to find work or to be able to meet new people.

The attitude of a person is also important when he or she is looking for work. If a person has a negative attitude, it will be difficult to find work and meet new people.

Another run-on sentence that I corrected.

Bien hecho

thanks sonrisa, very nice correctioni - 00494d19, Sep 17, 2011

Thank you !!!!!!! - Student_Of_Ingles, Sep 17, 2011

Answer 2

The personality of the people is the most important thing when you know meet a new person , you can know whether it he is a sincere person, friendly, [or] educated. You can also know how is a persontell something about a person from their voice . A person with a deep voice will have an ambitious, sometimes, overpowering personality ambitious or too strong. The appearance is also important when to know as is judging a person. The attitude of the people it is important to look for work, because if a person has a negative attitude it would will be difficult for him to find work or to be able to meet new people.

You overuse the phrase is important. Use something synonymous.

I don't want to re-write your paragraph, but your introductory sentence could state the importance of Personality, Voice, Appearance,& Attitude in making a good "first impression" when seeking employment or making a new acquaintence. You can, then, detail how each attribute effects that "first impression".