Usted form to soften command?

Question

Overheard at Jack in the Box. déme un vaso de agua. Is this just more polite and easier than dame un vaso? Me da un vaso, Me dé un vaso, that way no need to say "Favor de darme un vaso" since you already said please with "dé"

Gracias.

Are you sure the two people were "tu"ing with each other? In some Spanish speaking places even friends and family use "usted" - rabbitwho, Sep 10, 2011

Hop over to studyspanish.com: they have a chapter on commands. - Ann-Frances, Sep 10, 2011

Answer 1

Usted form to soften command?

The choice of familiar or unfamiliar "you" does nothing to "soften" a command. Only your choice of accompanying words and your tone can do this. However, to "tutear" a stranger is simply rude. There are people who think it´s trendy to do this, but they don´t realize the rudeness and lack of education on their part.

Thanks for your excellent answer! - territurtle, Sep 11, 2011

Answer 2

At least in Latino Spanish, I get the impression that you would use usted with all cashiers, waitstaff, bartenders, etc...except with those with whom you have become real friendly (perhaps because you are a regular customer).

Some general rules I think I've noticed in movies...

Friends & Family = tú

Master talking to his disciples = tú

Disciple talking to his master = usted

Everyone else (including employees and students below you in a business or school) = usted

I left out an important category: people you purposely want to be rude to (like a stranger who cuts in line)...I believe they are addressed by tú. - webdunce, Sep 10, 2011

Answer 3

On a related note, if the waiter says "¡Dígame!", you should reply with your order, but if he says "¡Dígame! señor.", you have to say "Señor."

haha. - jeezzle, Sep 10, 2011

¡Qué divertida es su respuesta! Can you tell I did lesson 4-7 today?!??! - katydew, Sep 10, 2011

Whaaaat!??' I don't get this. - Gekkosan, Sep 10, 2011

Answer 4

My very personal view on this:

It is common for people in Latin America to go to a food establishment and simply state an order: "Déme un vaso de agua". "Tráigame un jugo de tamarindo". "Déme dos hamburguesas con queso".

It is also fairly common to use the familiar, specially (although not exclusively) if the wait person is younger: "Dáme un perro caliente con todo", "Tráeme una pepsi-cola".

After I grew up, travelled a bit and performed a variety of different jobs to earn a living, I came to see this as rude behavior. It may be common, and it may be accepted as the way things are, but I still find it rude.

I always say "por favor" and "gracias", and teach my kids to do likewise.

"Por favor, ¿me podrías traer una botella de agua?" "Quisiera la sopa del día, por favor". "Si es tan amable, estoy listo para ordenar". "Tráiganos una pizza familiar, por favor".

No one has ever complained that I was being too polite, and the wait staff generally respond positively to being treated politely.

Answer 5

Hi Jeezzle:

Just because, maybe off your topic but have a look at this.

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Answer 6

Yes, it is to be more polite.