Living in Limbo: What does the future hold?
While taking a walk along the beautiful beach in Juan Dolio, my husband and I were discussing the notion that there was something more for us to do in the world. We have been enjoying our second trip to this country, which has primarily focused on reaching, helping and supporting the poor. Our youngest will be an adult in about 18 months and since we started very young, I feel like there is still so much out there to be accomplished....If only we could figure out what.
I am more of a dreamer. He is more practical, thinking we should make sure we are completely debt free before embarking on any new adventures. 
Neither of us wants to be away from the kids for extremely long periods of time. I could go on an on with the boring details, but the point is, I hate that frustrating sensation that there is something more, or something we should be doing. At the same time, we can't figure out what it is, where it is or how to accomplish it. It is like living in limbo.
Has anyone else experienced this combination of excitement at the prospect of something new on the horizon while being held back by the mystery of what it could be?
Please share your thoughts and experiences. They will be greatly appreciated. 
Playa Capella, Juan Dolio, R.D.
10 Answers
My life has been one of limbo, torn between 4 countries, (Canada, Mexico, Peru and the US) My plans have changed so many times, I had actually packed everything up, applied for all my visas to move to Peru semi-permently, and than for reasons I would rather not share, I was unable to go. That was a plan that had been years and years in the making and I was devestated when it fell through, Now I am back in Canada, and getting my degree in social work, with the hopes that I will be able to work internationally one day. Preferably in South America as it is my 'second home'. But it has been a struggle to figure out which of those 4 countries is where I am supposed to be, as I have close connections in each. My fiance, who I met after returning to Canada, has been to the Dominican and loves it, and we are planning a trip to mexico ASAP so that he meets the other side of my 'family'. It will be an interesting next 5-10 years as I finish school and we have the chance to look into some relocation options.
I've been in a state of limbo for a while, since I took a separation package from the company where I'd worked for 25+ years. Part of the package included a professional career development / outplacement program. I thought I'd find my direction through the weeks of skill cataloging, resume writing, soul searching and talking with career counselors and fellow program participants. The main thing I learned is what I did not want to do - work in corporate America! Then I experienced a health crisis and the death of a close family member, and suddenly finding a job just didn't seem that important.
But not working means that I have to live on the savings I've accumulated, which limits my options (especially after the recent market gyrations). I'd love to enroll in college and get a second degree. I want to do a Spanish language immersion program. I'd like to be a scuba-bum and wander around the Caribbean!
What am I doing instead? Projects around the house and yard. Volunteer work with a local psychiatric residential treatment facility for troubled kids. Teaching myself Spanish using free and low-cost resources. Scrimping and saving to make the money last until I can access my retirement funds. Splurging on a few scuba trips a year. Wishing I had a "vision" for my life and realizing that I do not.
So I can commiserate with your feeling of limbo, but not give any helpful advice. Now if I ever win the lottery .....
Nicole, I have indeed been there. There was a time I thought I would move full time to Mexico, but then the economic crisis happened, and... you know how that goes. So, here I am mixing my time between New England and Mexico, trying to make it 50-50, and getting myself to the point where I am financially stable enough to move for what I hope to be a decade or so.
So I'm a bit in limbo, too, and I can sympathize. We don't seem to get physically any younger! My advice to you, me, and everyone we know, is... well I'm the last person who should do that! It sounds to me like you are poised for a great adventure. Stay attuned, and I'm sure you'll know the path when you come across it.
My wife and I moved to Ecuador a while back. We just kind of jumped into it with little preparation, which is probably not a comfortable way to do things for many people, but it worked for us. We gave away a lot of our possessions before moving and have greatly simplified our lives; we love it, but many people would not be comfortable making what are essentially irreversible decisions. You really need to look deep inside yourselves and decide what is important to you. . .it is different for everybody, and one person's Heaven is another person's Hell. It is very important to avoid situations where one of you is in one and the other in the other, especially if you have made it difficult to change your mind.
Oh yes I have constantly. All I know is I'm moving back to the States (I'm currently in England). I have no idea where (it all depends on my dad's job). Ideally, I'd like to go back to California (I've also lived in Oregon, Texas, and Iowa). The mystery kills me haha. I just have to know!!!!!
Jeremias said:
So, here I am mixing my time between New England and Mexico, trying to make it 50-50, and getting myself to the point where I am financially stable enough to move for what I hope to be a decade or so.
Dogwood said:
The opportunity is now near to join with a large medical mission effort in Honduras (Predison, if I've spelled it right). I recently visited Mexico with another group, and I feel like I have a lot to offer. I should know soon if the new mission effort needs me.
The reason I opened this thread is because among my circle of friends in the States, (with the exception of one friend), they are all content with continuing on with their lives in much the same way. Now there is nothing wrong with that. We are all different. I just felt that overall, the people in this forum seem to have a spirit of adventure and a desire to delve into different places and cultures in the world. Many seem to be willing to use their gifts and talents to serve others. Some are already living that life of adventure like Paco in Mexico, Ian in Bolivia, Moutaingirl teaching in Mexico, Charlius teaching in Spain, etc. Then there are others like myself, Jeremias and Dogwood who are still waiting to see what that next step is going to be and when it will be taken.
Thanks for sharing guys and hopefully someone will have some advice for us. I never worry about the future. Through my faith, I am secure in that. I feel more like a child on Christmas morning, waiting to open the package of my future to see what is inside. 
Lorenzo, this is really great advice:
You really need to look deep inside yourselves and decide what is important to you. . .it is different for everybody, and one person's Heaven is another person's Hell. It is very important to avoid situations where one of you is in one and the other in the other, especially if you have made it difficult to change your mind.
I think I would have the tendency to do what you and your wife did. Of course I wouldn't just throw darts at the map to pick a place or lifestyle. However, if I were fairly certain of a good location, with the ability to earn a living and serve, etc., I would do it in a heartbeat. But I know that this has to be a mutual dream. Even if I were living my dream, I would never be happy unless it worked for the entire family.
There is already a lot of talk about my daughter doing an internship here in the D.R. I don't know if that will have any bearing on our future, but we'll see.
My wife and I are desperate to finish work altogether and move semi-permanently to Spain. However, I try not to let my dreams get in the way of reality. Who knows what is around the corner for anybody - thats the thing about life.... nobody gets out of it alive lol. You have to live for today, as well as tomorrow!
The reality is.... of course, we need money to pay the bills. We need to ensure our children are physically and emotionally secure enough to be separated from us for extended periods of time. We need to make sure that we have enough savings\pension to enjoy our life. Everybody says money doesn't buy happiness. While that is true, I'm sure not being able to afford regular meals would make me just a tad upset.
So, here I am.... Learning Spanish and saving frantically, for the day we can say bye bye to work and sit in the sunshine, beer in hand and steak on plate lol.
Just curious: Why Ecuador?
Several reasons. Right now, it is very peaceful and a fairly stable democracy, despite news stories to the contrary. There is a Constitution that guarantees the rights of foreigners to own property, even on the coast, which makes it different than many countries, like Mexico. It is inexpensive to live here if you don't want any luxury goods. The weather in our particular location is perfect for us. We both like living in a small village environment as long as my wife has convenient access to basic shopping facilities.
It's not for everybody and several Americans have come and gone since we moved here. Very peaceful fishing village means there is basically nothing here to entertain you, so if you need that you won't like it here. There is a lot of poverty that some people find depressing, and with poverty comes crime.
If you have more questions, I'd be happy to answer them.
I am in a similar position. I had to retire a few years ago because of some work difficulties, and I could not believe my life would only result in watching re-runs on television. I had worked my entire life and had a great deal to offer.
I was (and still am) debt free. God has been good to me. I could sit back and say "soul, take ease, for you have many goods stored up", but that story sounded a little too familiar. I decided I would not use my retirement as solely personal entertainment.
I renewed my license in laboratory medicine in hopes that an opportunity would present in some way that would be helpful to others and myself. I decided to work as a volunteer for a local free clinic (Volunteers in Medicine). I also decided to learn Spanish in the hope that I could be a medial missionary in Latin America.
The opportunity is now near to join with a large medical mission effort in Honduras (Predison, if I've spelled it right). I recently visited Mexico with another group, and I feel like I have a lot to offer. I should know soon if the new mission effort needs me.
I don't know what is ahead, but I don't worry about it. I have my spiritual commitment and I'm ready if needed.
