El sueño blanco se fuma mi corazón?

Question

I am trying to write song lyrics in Spanish. I want to say

"The white dream is smoked by my heart"

(Just like when you say "the cigarette is smoked by my grandfather." And this is the passive mood.)

So, I wrote this in Spanish

El sueño blanco se fuma por mi corazón.

But my friend from Madrid writes, el sueño blanco se fuma mi corazón!!! Without POR.

I think it doesn't makes without POR. Am I wrong? Should I get rid of POR? Or, did my friend simply mistype it and miss a word?

which is your native language? - myamx, Aug 12, 2011

Korean. - boseulized, Aug 12, 2011

Answer 1

Maybe try something like "se oscura el sueño puro de mi corazón" but I'm not sure exactly what you mean because "the white dream is smoked" doesn't completely make sense in English.

I also write songs in Spanish, if you'd like my opinion, don't try to write in English then translate it to Spanish, it's much easier to create a believable song by just writing it in Spanish : P

Thank you. I don't care if "smoked" makes sense in this case, it's just my poor, funny poetry :) What I strictly care about is the grammar. Why the 'por' has to be gone? by my heart = por mi corzaon - boseulized, Aug 12, 2011

Answer 2

Your friend is right, but I would try a different verb. "Smoked" to me makes no sense in either language in this context.

Thank you. I don't care if "smoked" makes sense in this case, it's just my poor, funny poetry :) What I strictly care about is the grammar. Why the 'por' has to be gone? by my heart = por mi corzaon - boseulized, Aug 12, 2011

Answer 3

Mi corazón is doing the smoking, so it's actually the subject in this case.

If I'm right, you could rewrite this as

"Mi corazón se fuma el sueño blanco."

In Spanish, the sentence order is very free.

(Please correct me if I'm wrong!)

Thanks, you are're right, "mo corazón" is doing the smoking, though I know it sounds odd. Anyway, are you trying to tell me to rewrite it in an active voice, instead of a passive vocie? Then, it should be Mi corazón fuma el sueño blanco, - boseulized, Aug 13, 2011

which doesn't need a "se." But I want to stick with a paasive voice. For a passive voice, "Mi corazón se fuma el sueño blanco" dones't work, I guess..... Please correct me if I missing any point. - boseulized, Aug 13, 2011

"passive se" is only translated as passive. Technically, it's active. You would use "por" with the ser + past participle construction - Felixlynx, Aug 14, 2011

Answer 4

Someone really ought to explain the por thing.

It is my understanding that with "se" constructions like this por simply isn't needed. But I couldn't possibly explain why.

Answer 5

The word for "smoked", like smoked bacon is "ahumado". I'm not quite sure what meaning you're trying to convey, so I'm just giving a few suggestions. Maybe you're looking for something more along the lines of "burned"...which would be "quemado" from the verb "quemar"...to burn. Fumar, in my understanding, is to smoke a cigarette, etc.