Let's do it again. Proofread Frank's other dialogue, please.

Question

I learned so much from trying to translate Paco's other dialogue (with everyone's help, of course) that I would like to try it again. Please, proofread. I would like to use natural English phrasing, but I don't wish to get so far from the literal translation that beginners cannot learn any vocabulary. (This time I'll be smart enough to number the lines-corrections can get to be a nightmare to locate)

• 1) El Señor Gómez y el billete del tren
• 2) Mr. Gómez and the train ticket
• 3) Gómez: Buenos dias señor Finkler, es un gusto verlo de nuevo.
• 4) Gómez: Good day, Mr. Finkler, it's a joy pleasure to see you again.
• 5) Finkler: Buenos dias señor Gómez, ¿cómo está usted?
• 6) Finkler: Good day, Mr. Gómez. How are you?
• 7) Gómez: Muy bien, gracias ¿y usted?
• 8) Gómez: Very well, thanks. And you?
• 9) Finkler: Muy bien también, pero con mucho trabajo. Permítame presentarle a mi esposa Ana.
• 10) Finkler: Also very well, but overworked. Allow me to introduce my wife, Ana.
• 11) Finkler: Ana, te presento al señor Eduardo Gómez. Señor Gómez, ella es mi esposa Ana.
• 12) Finkler: Ana, may I introduce to you Mr. Eduardo Gómez. Mr. Gómez, this is my wife, Ana.
• 13) Gómez: Mucho gusto señora.
• 14) Gómez: Happy to meet you, madam.
• 15) Ana: Encantada, señor
• 16) Ana: Charmed Happy to meet you, Sir. (bit awkward, but trying to be literal)
• 17) Gómez: Igualmente señora.
• 18) Gómez: Likewise, madam.
• 19) Gómez: Frank, iré a la sierra este fin de semana con mi familia. He comprado los billetes del tren, pero no sé cómo llegar a la dirección donde debo recogerlos.
• 20) Gómez: Frank, I will be going to the mountains this weekend with my family. I have bought train tickets, but I don't know how to get to the address where I am supposed to pick them up.
• 21) Finkler: ¿Tiene usted la dirección, no?
• 22) Finkler: You have the address, right?
• 23) Gómez: Sí, la tengo, (la muestra).
• 24) Gómez: Yes, I have it. (He shows it)
• 25) Finkler: Hmm... parece que está al otro lado de la ciudad. Mi esposa está muy familiarizada con la ciudad. Ella le puede acompañar. ¿Tienes algún inconveniente cariño?
• 26) Finkler: Hmm...It appears to be on the other side of the city. My wife is very familiar with the city. She can accompany you. Is that of any inconvenience, dear?
• 27) Ana: Ninguno, mi amor. Le acompañaré con gusto.
• 28) None, my love. I will be happy to accompany him.
• 29) Gómez: Muy bien, le agradezco. Pero tengo una proposición: Me gustaría invitarlos a comer después de recoger los billetes.
• 30) Gómez: Very well. I am very grateful to you. But I have a proposal: I would like to invite you both to eat after picking up the tickets.
• 31) Finkler: Hmm... Buena idea Eduardo. Vayan a recoger los billetes y más tarde nos veremos en un restaurante. ¿Tiene alguna preferencia Eduardo?
• 32) Finkler: Hmm..Good idea, Eduardo. You two go and pick up the tickets and later we will see each other meet in the restaurant. Do you have any preference, Eduardo?
• 33) Gómez: Quisiera probar “la famosa carne del norte”, pero realmente no conozco un buen lugar.
• 34) Gómez: I would like to try "the famous Northern meat beef", but really I don't know a good place.
• 35) Ana: A Frank también le gusta nuestra carne norteña.
• 36) Ana: Frank also likes our northern meat beef.
• 37) Finkler: Recomiendo “La Casona”. La carne allí es exquisita, y hay muchas opciones. Su menú es amplio, y el ambiente es muy agradable. Está en un edificio antiguo excelentemente conservado, en el centro de la ciudad.
• 38) Finkler: I recommend "La Casona". The meat there is exquisite and there are many options. Their menu is varied has a wide selection and the ambiance atmosphere is very pleasant. It is in an old building excellently conserved/preserved in the center of the city.
• 39) Gómez: Estoy de acuerdo. ¡Fantástico! ¿A qué hora?
• 40) Gómez: I agree. Fantastic! At what time?
• 41) Finkler: A las tres. ¿Le parece bien?
• 42) 3 o'clock. Ok with you? (seem fine to you?)
• 43) Gómez: Sí, ¡es buena hora!
• 44) Gómez: Yes, that's a good time!
• 45) Ana: Bueno, ahora es la una. Nos tomará una hora realizar el trámite, yo propongo reunirnos en el restaurante a las dos. ¿Qué les parece?
• 46) Ana: Good, it is now one o'clock. I will take us an hour to conduct our business, I propose that we meet in the restaurant at two clock. Ok with you both? (How does that seem to you two?)
• 47) Gómez: Me parece bien.
• 48) Gómez: Fine with me. (seems good to me)
• 49) Finkler: A mí también. Vayan a su diligencia, y nos veremos en La Casona a las dos. Reservaré una mesa en el patio.
• 50) Finkler: To me also. Go conduct take care of your business and we will see each other meet at La Casona at two o'clock. I will reserve a table on the patio.
• 51) Gómez: Perfecto. Les agradezco sus atenciones.
• 52) Perfect. I appreciate (thank you for ) your attentiveness.
• 53) Finkler: Eduardo, no tiene nada que agradecer. Es un placer contar con su compañía.
• 54) Finkler: Eduardo, you have nothing to thank us for. It is a pleasure to have (to share) your company.
• 55) Ana: Muy bien. Entonces: ¿nos vamos señor Gómez?
• 56) Ana: Very well. Then, shall we go, Mr. Gómez?
• 57) Gómez: Adelante, usted primero señora. Hasta luego, Frank.
• 58) Gómez: Onward Let's go then, you first, madam. Until later, Frank
• 59) Finkler: ¡Que les vaya bien!
• 60) May everything go well! Have a nice day! Hope everything goes well! [I like fares, but it sounds antiquated]

Ok, let the criticism begin. Remember that I have nothing better to do in life than make 10,000 corrections. Truthfully, I would appreciate any suggestions. Remember, however, there may be better phrases in English that we use in certain situations, but I'm trying to stay close to the literal Spanish.

Not too smart the line numbers vanished! - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

# 7, 17, 37 need to be moved onto their own line. I didn't dare touch the formatting. - --Mariana--, Aug 1, 2011

Hi Q fantastic ( again) for sure, so difficult at time to get from Spanish to english without getting "clumsy phrases" - pacofinkler, Aug 1, 2011

For Us In Mexico norte " carne del norte " is our wonderful beef. - pacofinkler, Aug 1, 2011

you are right the first time in line 60, Q - pacofinkler, Aug 1, 2011

Mariannes approach to line 60 as well as your first one has the true nature of the phrase - pacofinkler, Aug 1, 2011

Q see my answer below please - pacofinkler, Aug 1, 2011

When the Queen tells me to change this or that what can I do but obey. I enjoy living free and have no desire to spend the rest of my life in a dungeon. - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

Thank you for the formatting corrections, Mariana. One darn "space" out of place and everything turns to a mess. - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

A translator never has an easy job. It just looks easy if you've never done it :) - Sabor, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 1

Remember, however, there may be better phrases in English that we use in certain situations, but I'm trying to stay close to the literal Spanish.

Then I think you should give the beginners both the idiomatic and the literal translation

14) ma'am vs madam

26) Is that of any inconvenience, "Would that be inconvenient", or better, Would that be convenient?

34) "the famous Northern meat" Carne is used for beef instead of meat in general. So "the famous Northern beef".

38) The menu has a wide selection vs "Their menu is varied"

50) "Go conduct your business" - Take care of your business.

57) "luego"

60) Good luck!

Of course, Would that be convenient sounds better. But what is her reply? None. I didn't want to change none to no, because a beginner will see that as an error. I understood the conversation and knew how I would word it in English, but II'm trying - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

not to ignore the Spanish and just write a typical answer in English. - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

I'm not so sure that madam or ma'am is the equivalent of señora. I would reword the whole sentence avoiding it if I could. Ma'am to me sounds like something out of a cowboy movie except in a military context. - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

I should have just kept señora and not translated it. - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

I accepted your answer, because of the beef comment which I personally found enlightening (Paco also mentions it, but after you). However, I appreciated everyones contributions equally, large or small. Too bad that we can only accept one answer. - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

I agree Q wirh so many good contributions it is very hard to choose best - pacofinkler, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 2

I am addressing this to all the people who will read the original Spanish and particularly to you Quentin for your extraordinary work in the translation.

Quentin you have done a yeoman's task in translating (both of these to English), and have done very well with it. Thank you for doing it.

I also like to see the input and commentary of others as well

Please not the absence of slang, The reality seems to be that we just do not use it that much,

There are also a few " dichos" in this, line 60 is just such a phrase.

I do not have the time just now. but I will post my edits to your work by doing a cut' paste and edit in a new answer to this thread so we all can see the differences ( which by the way are not great)

You have also hit the proper note that if we were to translate this to smooth proper English the poor learner would not stand a chance of discovering the meanings of words and phrases. you are so right that for the sake of learning much of the clumsy English must remain.

It would look and sound equally silly in Spanish if we tried to maintain the English.

When we do these exercises it can take as much as four hours to discuss, debate and understand how we get from one language to the other. and do it in a way that conveys a daily dialogue.not just a translation of words

The intent of these as I noted in the original post (s) is to replicate a real world conversation between the "players" with pauses and grammar that is correct but not necessarily " by the book" daily speech is not "by the book"

To Paraphrase Lazarus " Dont let the formal grammar get in the way of your speaking"

I like your response! - Sabor, Aug 1, 2011

Thanks Sabor, you input is very much appreciated - pacofinkler, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 3

I fixed a little typo in 11 and 12 where you spelled the wife's name with two Ns. In lines 41-44 they agree to meet at 3:00, but that's followed by lines where they agree to meet at 2.

Actually, I saw that and noticed that Paco used two n's when writing her name in English. I attempted to follow suit. I had been writing Edward for Eduardo, but corrected it. - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

Nice catch on the timeline. I'm wondering if that was part of why I had problems deciding if they were talking about taking an hour to take care of picking up the train tickets or making dinner reservactions, getting dressed,etc. - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 4

Note: Don't you need the commas before a person's name, as you do in English, to offset them in a sentence? I noticed that sometimes you used the commas, but at other times you did not.

4) ...Mr. Finkler, it's a pleasure to see you again.

9) ....Permítame presentarle a mi esposa, Ana.

11) .... ella es mi esposa, Anna.

13) Mucho gusto, señora.

17) Gómez: Igualmente, señora.

25) ... ¿Tienes algún inconveniente, cariño?

31) ... ¿Tiene alguna preferencia, Eduardo?

36.) Ana: Frank also likes our northern meat.

49) ...a su diligencia (no comma) y nos veremos en La Casona a las dos.

55) .... ¿nos vamos, señor Gómez?

57) Gómez: Adelante, usted primero, señora. Hasta luego, Frank.

58) Gómez: Onward. You first, madam. Until later, Frank

60) Hope everything goes well!

The comma thing may have come from my original Mariane, tring to get some space in it. - pacofinkler, Aug 1, 2011

The commas are also trying to give the thought of pauses and breaks in natural conversation. - pacofinkler, Aug 1, 2011

If that comment was directed to me, I am only writing the English (where they are needed). I'm not concerned with the Spanish usage. If I omitted them, it was an oversight. #36 does not need the comma. Frank is not being addressed. - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 5

Ok, no suggestions today

1. Gómez: Buenos dias señor Finkler, es un gusto verlo de nuevo.

2. Gómez: Good day, Mr. Finkler, it a pleasure to see you again.

3. Ana: Encantada, señor

4. Ana: Happy to meet you too, Sir. (bit awkward, but trying to be literal)

5. Gómez: Muy bien, le agradezco. Pero tengo una proposición: Me gustaría invitarlos a comer después de recoger los billetes.

6. Gómez: Very well. I am very grateful But I have a proposal: I would like to invite you both to eat after picking up the tickets.

7. Finkler: Hmm... Buena idea Eduardo. Vayan a recoger los billetes y más tarde nos veremos en un restaurante. ¿Tiene alguna preferencia Eduardo?

8. Finkler: Hmm..Good idea, Eduardo. You two go and pick up the tickets and later we will meet in the restaurant. Do you have any preference, Eduardo?

9. Finkler: Recomiendo “La Casona”. La carne allí es exquisita, y hay muchas opciones. Su menú es amplio, y el ambiente es muy agradable. Está en un edificio antiguo excelentemente conservado, en el centro de la ciudad.

10. Finkler: I recommend "La Casona". The meat there is exquisite and there are many options. Their menu is varied and the atmosphere is very pleasant. It is in an old building excellently conserved/preserved in the center of the city.

11. Finkler: A mí también. Vayan a su diligencia, y nos veremos en La Casona a las dos. Reservaré una mesa en el patio.

12. Finkler: To me also. Go conduct your business and we will meet at La Casona at two o'clock. I will reserve a table on the patio.

13. Gómez: Adelante, usted primero señora. Hasta luego Frank.

14. Gómez: Let's go then, you first, madam. Until later, Frank

15. Finkler: ¡Que les vaya bien!

16. Have a nice day.

C'mon, quen, what was onward supposed to mean?

I said I was trying to be literal. How was I supposed to get " Let's go then" from adelante. Sound more like "vamos" or vámonos". I must have gotten the part right about go do the business you were supoosed to do correct. I thought, at first, it was - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

talking about making arrangements for dinner (reserving the table, etc.) Thanks for the corrections, though. I'm thrilled since my line numbers didn't work out. *(&^*((^%(^%!!!!! - 0074b507, Aug 1, 2011

Answer 6

Adelante

This can mean anything really.

come in, go in, let's go, let's do it, go with it, just do it, ok, right,

Here it can either mean: You go first, or let's do that then.