Could you help me proofread my English mistakes?

Question

This is a Concluding Paragraph:

In conclusion, the most adults who face health problems by their busy schedules creating stress, can be controlled it having realistic goals, practicing a hobby, doing exercises regularly, and maintaining close relationships with families and friends. Symptoms may vary and that people to live better. In the end, people who suffer stress with strong symptoms can overcome the strong suffering and difficulties having a better quality of life.

Thanks.

I suggest editing the title to: Could you help me proofread my English mistakes? - SonrisaDelSol, Jul 25, 2011

I will help you, Mayle. I will post my corrections soon. - SonrisaDelSol, Jul 25, 2011

SonrisaDelSo, how can I do correct the tittle in this hilo? - maylegoas, Jul 25, 2011

I explained how to edit the title - see my post below. :) - SonrisaDelSol, Jul 25, 2011

OK SonrisaDelSo, thanks a lot - maylegoas, Jul 25, 2011

Answer 1

In conclusion, the most adults who face health problems by their busy schedules creating stress, can be controlled it having realistic goals, practicing a hobby, doing exercises regularly, and maintaining close relationships with families and friends.

In conclusion, most adults face health problems because of their stressful, busy schedules. However, the stress can be controlled by having realistic goals, practicing a hobby, exercising regularly, and maintaining close relationships with family and friends.

Symptoms may vary and that people to live better.

This is a little confusing. I think you should state this as, "Though stress-related symptoms vary, these tips can help people live better."

In the end, people who suffer stress with strong symptoms can overcome the strong suffering and difficulties having a better quality of life.

In the end, people who suffer from stress can overcome their suffering and difficulties, resulting in a better quality of life.

---

So, your corrected paragraph will look like this.

In conclusion, most adults face health problems because of their stressful, busy schedules. However, the stress can be controlled by having realistic goals, practicing a hobby, exercising regularly, and maintaining close relationships with family and friends. Though stress-related symptoms vary, these tips can help people live better. In the end, people who suffer from stress can overcome their suffering and difficulties, resulting in a better quality of life.

---

You did a great job, Mayle. You are really improving! Keep up the good work.

Please let me if you have any questions.

Thanks SonrisaDelSo for encouraging me, I know that sometimes I write too bad, for example yesterday. - maylegoas, Jul 25, 2011

De nada! Your English has never been bad. You are learning from your mistakes very quickly! - SonrisaDelSol, Jul 25, 2011

Answer 2

Mayle,

To edit your post...

or

Answer 3

try the following changes:

In conclusion, most adults who face health problems because their busy schedules create stress, can control it by having realistic goals, practicing a hobby, doing exercises regularly, and maintaining close relationships with family and friends.

Symptoms may vary and that people to live better - this sentence sounds strange. I am not sure what you are trying to say.

.In the end, people who suffer stress with strong symptoms can overcome the strong suffering and difficulties and have a better quality of life.

Hope I helped! Best of luck!

thanks jwammo - maylegoas, Jul 25, 2011