Jokes in Spanish or English

Question

Do you guys have any good jokes to share? They can be either English or Spanish. I will give it a go.

Un hombre está caminando por la calle. Él ve a una mujer quien está aggarando y acariciando su gato. Él se la acerca, apunta al gato, y le dice "Oh, que bonito.¿Araña?" Y ella responde "No, Gato"

If you don't get it at first, think about the two meanings of araña.

Very nice! - gintar77, Jun 24, 2011

Answer 1

Very easy Spanish children jokes, add one!! By Heidita!!!!

Yes! That's the one I was thinking about. - danrivera, Jun 24, 2011

Answer 2

Va caminado una mujer por el parque y un borracho le dice: Tienes un cuerpo groseramente porno..! Sensualmente porno..! Espectacularmente porno..! ¿Y sabes por qué? por no hacer ejercicio.

JAjajajaja! Esa no me la sabia! :D - 00a4c226, Jun 24, 2011

Mi amigo de España me lo envió, No estuve segura si me gustó o no. - BellaMargarita, Jun 24, 2011

por no poner atencion :} - 00a4c226, Jun 24, 2011

No lo entiendo - eltennis97, Jun 24, 2011

¿Que esperaste? el tipo estuvo borracho. - BellaMargarita, Jun 24, 2011

Answer 3

I believe there is actually another thread on this topic. I will have to find it. Okay, there are actually many, but most only have a few answers. I did not see a major thread on jokes.

Thanks for suggesting to look for other threads. I wouldn't have thought of that myself. :) - GuitarWarrior, Jun 24, 2011

Answer 4

A guy goes into a store looking to buy some items of a personal clothing nature. He has trouble making himself understood, as Spanish is the only language he know. Finally a very helpful blonde salesgirl takes him around the store where shepoints to different things and he says "No.." to all of them. Finally, they end up in Men's ware and there, he rushes over to a display, grabs a bag off of it and says " Eso Si que es!!" and she's like, " hey buddy, if you'd just SPELLED It to begin with, I would have known what you wanted!!

If you say "eso si que es" out loud, you will get it - eltennis97, Jun 24, 2011

Hahaha! - gintar77, Jun 24, 2011

Oh my gosh, that's hilarious! - SonrisaDelSol, Jun 24, 2011

Answer 5

Spanish: El doctor llama por teléfono a su paciente:

Vera, tengo una noticia buena y otra mala.

Bueno... dígame primero la buena.

Los resultados del análisis indican que te quedan 24 horas de vida.

Pues Bien, ¿esa es la buena noticia? ¿Entonces cuál es la mala?

He estado tratando de llamarte desde ayer.

English: The doctor calls his patient by telephone:

"Vera, I have good news and bad news."

"Well then, . . . tell me the good news first."

"The results of the analysis indicate that you have 24 hours left to live."

"Well, that's the good news? Then what's the bad news?"

"That I have been trying to reach you since yesterday."

Answer 6

Pregunta: ¿Qué hace el pez? Respuesta: Nada

If you don't get it at first, think about the two meanings of nada .

oh i get it - eltennis97, Jun 24, 2011

Answer 7

A: Padre, ¿qué puedo hacer por mis pecados? (Father, what can I do to have my sins forgiven?)

B: Ora, hijo mío, ora. (Pray, my son, pray.)

A: Las once y media, padre. (It’s 11:30, father.)

Answer 8

Cual es la diferencia entre una novia, una amante y una esposa en la cama? - La novia dice ¡Ay! ¡Me duele! - La amante dice ¡Ay! ¡Que placer! - Y la esposa dice ¡Ay! ¡Que pintar el techo!... míralo en la web