Please, check my summary
“All quiet in the Western Front” by Erich Maria Remarque.
The book tells the story of Paul Baümer and his comrades, a group of young German soldiers who fought in the First World War. The boys, encouraged by the nationalism of then, were obliged to lose their youth and fight one of the cruelest wars.
In spite of the bloody battles, he and his friends tried to enjoy and live every moment in rearguard, because they didn’t know if they could return. Comradeship is the only good thing that war produces, they used to say.
When he got 15 days on leave, he went to his house and found his mother sick, his father looking for a job and a society which didn’t realize about the suffering and pain of the War.
Back in the Front, in one of the battles, he was lost and caught between the crossfire, obligued to stay in a bomb crater. Suddenly, a French soldier jump into the hole and he had to kill him using his knife. After hours waiting to be able to escape and regretted for his action he tried to save his victim, but he couldn’t, he only could see an ID, photographs and letters of the man, and he said sorry to him and his family.
After three years of war, the German army was being defeated, and Paul only saw all his friends dying by gun machines and bombs. His best friend, a 40 years old soldier, was hit on his leg; Paul took him to a doctor, once there, they realized that he was death, as Paul was carrying him, a bullet hit the wounded man in the head.
3 Answers
Very good job, Nelson. I have a few suggestions.
All quiet in the Western Front” by Erich Maria Remarque.
The book tells the story of Paul Baümer and his comrades, a group of young German soldiers who fought in the First World War. The boys, encouraged by the nationalism of that time, were obliged to lose their youth and fight one of the cruelest wars.
In spite of the bloody battles, he and his friends tried to enjoy and live every moment in rearguard, because they didn’t know if they would return. Comradeship is the only good thing that war produces, they used to say.
When he got 15 days on leave, he went to his house and found his mother sick, his father looking for a job and a society which didn’t realize about the suffering and pain of the War.
Back in the Front, in one of the battles, he was lost and got caught between the crossfire, and he needed to stay in a bomb crater. Suddenly, a French soldier jumped into the hole and he had to kill him using his knife. After hours of waiting for the opportunity to escape and regretting his action he tried to save his victim, but he couldn’t. He could only see an ID, photographs and letters that the man had, and he said sorry to him and his family.
After three years of war, the German army was being defeated, and Paul only saw all his friends dying by machine guns and bombs. His best friend, a 40 year old soldier, was hit on his leg; Paul took him to a doctor. Once there, they realized that he was dead . As Paul was carrying him, a bullet had hit the wounded man in the head.
A few more changes, amigo.
"Back in the Front...". Front does not have to be capitalized.
obligued to stay in a bomb crater
I'm sorry, I do not know what "obligued" means. Do you mean "obliged"?
Suddenly, a French soldier jump into the hole
Jump should be in the past tense. Please change it to "jumped".
After hours waiting to be able to escape and regretted for his action he tried to save his victim, but he couldn’t, he only could see an ID, photographs and letters of the man, and he said sorry to him and his family.
Regretted doesn't seem to fit here. After action, there should be a comma (,). Avoid contractions in formal writing, so change couldn't to could not. After "couldn't/could not", please put a period to mark the end of a sentence. Then capitalize the "h" in "he" to start a new sentence
Hello!
I would replace First World War with "World War I", and then change encouraged by the nationalism of then into BACK then.
Next, change "Comradeship is the only good thing that war produces, they used to say" to something less generic. "Thing" is not well received in English literature, so I would change it to something more like "comradeship is the only positive result of war, they used to say".
When he got 15 days on leave, he went to his house and found his mother sick, his father looking for a job and a society which didn’t realize about the suffering and pain of the War.
"which didn't realize ABOUT..." would sound better without the about. Also, war does not have to be capitalized.
