Two Men Jokes
1) Doctors have just identified a food that can cause men grief and suffering years after it's been eaten.
It's called a wedding cake.
2) I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said I love you.
She said is that you or the beer talking ?
I replied it's me talking to the beer.
9 Answers
Eddy, your second joke inspired me to add this item that was sent to me last week. It seems that men and women are forever trying to figure out what the other is saying. I guess to a man, beer is much less complicated. 
Men, you may think you have a command of the English language, but when it comes to communicating with women, you may be surprised. Here is our dictionary of Womanese. Master these terms and you'll find your relationship with women greatly improved.
The Real Definition of Words When Used By Women
Fine - I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up.
That's Okay - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you'll pay for your mistake.
Nothing - The calm before the storm. This means "Something" and you better be on your toes. Note: Arguments that start with "Nothing" usually end with "Fine" (See #1).
Five Minutes - If getting dressed, this means half an hour. (Don't be mad about this. It's the same definition for you when it's your turn to do some chores around the house.)
Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not question this or faint. Just say, "You're welcome," and let it go.
Loud Sigh - Not actually a word but rather a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is standing here wasting her time arguing with you about "Nothing." (See #3)
Go Ahead - This is a dare, not permission. (Don't Do It!)
Don't worry about it, I got it - The second most dangerous statement a woman can make. It means that a woman has asked a man several times to do something and is now doing it herself. (This will result in you asking at a later date, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response, see #3.)
Women ARE smarter than men no matter what anybody says! why??!
Here's a simple situation to prove that 
.
When 10 men gather ............................................................ one man speak and the other 9 listen to understand.
When 10 women gather ......................................................... they all speak at the same time and they all understand!!! 
I like that Eddy so I am answering it to get it out of the unanswered.
Oh, well, I guess the women who say those things (with those meanings) are the ones who are talking to the guys who answer: "uuuhhh", "hhhmmmm", "yeah", "dunno", "could be", "okay", "sure" and other ... brief conversational tidbits?? 
Many of the world's problems could be solved by prohibiting people (men or women) from having children before age 30 or after age 40.
(I, for one, would never have been born. . .)
For men: Love is the beautiful stars in the sky, marriage is the hole you fall into while looking at the bright stars!! 
(stupid thing!!)
And since we are dealing with 'language' here:
Yeah, I love my beer too... much more affection for a cocktail!
hahahahahahahahaa
