Half of a blanket, un poco de filosofía
After reading Gekkoan´s post and the addition of another from Lorenzo I felt that this is appropriate to follow on with that line of thinking.This is from an oral tradition in México translated by me to english. (paraphrased really)
Once there was a young boy that was called to his fathers library, Son, the father said:
Go to the closet, take out the big blanket and give it to your grandfather. Why papa? asked the boy. Son, your grandfather who has been living here with us for many years has become a heavy burden, he is old and infirm, stubborn and unreasonable. We have problems to feed him, clean him and move him. For this reason, and for the sake of the family I have decided to send him out of this house. However I do not wish him to go with empty hands.
After a while the father called the boy back to his library and asked him if he had carried out his order. The boy said "yes papa I did", but I only gave grandpa half of the blanket. Why?, asked the father. The boy answered: I saved the other half of the blanket for the time when you become old, infirm, stubborn and unreasonable, and for the sake of the family I will have to send you out of my house, and I will not want to send you away with empty hands Papa.
10 Answers
"There but for the grace of God go I ." My mother lives in a care home ,,
I have to explain to her every week why it is she is there and not with her family .
It breaks my heart but there is no option., My half blanket awaits me.
It is all a matter of choice, isn't it?.
In reality, there is no blanket awaiting us. This is a decision our families make based on the fact that we are so overwhelmed in our daily lives that we think we cannot bear anymore. The truth is that we can.
In my own experience, I have seen families desperately poor doing all humanly possible to care for their elders. If these people can manage, how is it that we in the middle or upper classes cannot?
When we have done all possible to give our elders the warmth of family, comfort and care until their last moment with us, there is a sense of peace that we have done the right thing. And that feeling allows us to let them go without remorse.
And for them, leaving us, being surrounded by family is the best of the human condition.
Every time I encounter that story, it gives me goose bumps.
Yes, in México, we do everything possible to keep our oldies at home. The nursing homes do exist, but we only consider that as the last and most extreme option, if at all.
On the other hand, considering the income of most families, the nursing homes are simply not an economic option.
Our blankets will hopefully remain in the closet.
Only for the reason of all the commentary I feel I must add something here ,I normally do not like to post twice to anything but I'll make an exception.
I can only make a comparison between the attitudes in México and the U.S.
In the U.S. sending our elderly and infirm to nursing care is more common than not. Families are scattered and the pressures of work and daily living cause us to think differently in my opinion.
Ray's post even hurt the "cockles of my little black heart " Inasmuch as if I had stayed in the U.S. It would not be too many years more before I would have to face the apparition of the infamous "blanket" as I have two sons living outside the U.S. and not likely to come home to take care of Papa.
Méxican culture adheres to the traditional family values regardless of burden, cost or inconvenience.God bless each and every one of them that care for their elderly. In my case, Having become part of a Méxican family I am confident that I will not be abandoned to a home.
I have lived all my years so far as sort of a "macho" taking my independence, as well as my responsibilities ( yes these are Macho characteristics) very seriously, in my years, military included I have learned the hard way to respect and love life in all its forms, even the biting and stinging forms,and to not kill anything that has no intent to kill you.Taking a human life weighs heavy, enemy or not.
Love, respect,compassion and ethics are the rules of life whether you are religious or not.
Enjoy the biscuits, link texteven burnt they were made with love and the best intentions.
Well my wife took care of her parents until her mother passed then her father came to live with us until he could no longer function. He died in rehab. My father passed away recently leaving behind his younger wife who took care of him these past years during his bad health. My Mother is living in her own house with my sister. Mom is going on 90 and just bought herself a new golfcart for getting around the neighborhood and is talking about building yet another house so that she can be closer to the center of things (She has had 5 built in the last 30 years). So far so good. I consider myself very fortunate having never had the need to even think about that blanket.
As most of you know I have been in Bolivia for some years now.
I had a girlfriend for a long time here. She was much younger than me but that did not stop the family calling me "son" and "brother". Even though I am older than the mother.
One day they asked me to visit the cemetary on the anniversary of the death of one of the grandmothers.
Imagiine my shock when they told me that "That is your space over there."
When I asked why - they said "You are family."
I almost choked with tears.
Paco, for your next business venture may I suggest a kit containing this story in both English and Spanish complete with a blanket torn in two pieces. Or better yet, it can be a whole blanket, It could be a way for to help the family decide how important their love ones are to them and how we need to do the best we can for them. Sometimes we have to make a difficult choice for our loved ones, but I am sure we can always give them a whole blanket and fulfill their needs as is necessary.
Haha, that's funny!
This was in a book I read in primary school! I never forgot it.
Ah- what a great lesson this is. Thank you for sharing Frank. This is a good story to think about.
