Frases graciosas - Funny sentences/quotes

Question

Let's share some funny sentences or quotes. I´ve found these lurking in the web:

Si Messi es dios, no me sorprende que Ronaldo sea Cristiano

If Messi is god, i'ts not a surprise that Ronaldo is Cristiano (Chistian)

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Si Barbie es tan popular, ¿Por qué hay que comprarle los amigos?

If Barbie is so popular. Why do we have to buy her friends?

So, write your favourite ones

Answer 1

Ella era mi mejor amiga durante 20 años , pero luego nos casamos.

She was my best friend for 20 years, but then we got married.

Answer 2

En los aviones el tiempo se pasa volando. In airplanes the time flies.

Tengo un sueño que no me deja dormir. I have a dream which keeps me awake.

Morir es como dormir, pero sin levantarse a hacer pis. Dieing is like sleeping, just without getting up for a piss.

Algunos matrimonios acaban bien, otros duran toda la vida. Some marriages end well, others last a lifetime.

Answer 3

Never take life seriously. You will never get out alive anyway.

/ Nunca te tomes la vida enserio. Nunca saldrás vivo de todas formas.

Answer 4

Soñar no cuesta nada, lo que cuesta es levantarse. Sleeping takes nothing, the that costs is getting up.

Me revienta que hablen cuando interrumpo. Their talk pisses me off when I interrupt.

S.O.S., cualquiera me da igual. SOS, anybody, I don't care.