Could you, please, proofread this text?
I'm interested in all kind of corrections, grammar, choice of words, spelling, and style in the following text.
I'm sorry, because it's a big long and I have no Spanish version.
Thanks in advance!!
(...) In my opinion, Animal Farm is much more effective and has greater touches of brilliance than 1984. Especially, because it says the same thing in less lines. While 1984 is one of the greatest masterpieces of literature because of its style, its important influence on film and literature, and its political-sociological aspects, Animal Farm is much more specific and concise. They are so related each other that is difficult to analyse one of them without addressing the other one.
In Animal Farm we have a dictatorial and tyrannical farmer called Jones who is violently expelled from their own home by after the farm animals revolt. The architect of this revolution, an old pig, dies, and animals must establish a new structure in terms of gathering food, raising puppies, hours of work and leisure, etc., in charge of the smartest on the farm: pigs and dogs, through the clever pigs Snowball and Napoleon, emerging leaders of the revolution.
Its better achievement is probably its merciless criticism against the communist system, extraordinarily expressed in sentences such as "Napoleon is always right" or "I will work more." As animals, the system they establish, against men first, then more moderate, is represented by an unparalleled cruelty and hardness, although never unpleasant given the admirable subtlety of the Orwellian style.
Animal Farm demonstrates how information can be manipulated to define the past, to taint history and thereby opening a window into the minds of the individuals. It is a real enjoyment for the reader to observe how each and every one of the characters are idiosyncratically essential to the plot, and have their reflect, their real-life counterparts in what came to be known as the Russian Revolution.
In summary, Animal Farm is of the genre of essential classic novels, and represents an amazing and portentous plea against social injustice and totalitarian regimes. A true masterpiece.
4 Answers
In my opinion, Animal Farm is much more effective and has greater touches of brilliance than 1984. Especially(omit comma) because it says the same thing in fewer lines. While 1984 is one of the greatest masterpieces of literature because of its style, its important influence on film and literature, and its political-sociological aspects, Animal Farm is much more specific and concise. They are so related to each other that it is difficult to analyse one of them without addressing the other one.
In Animal Farm we have a dictatorial and tyrannical farmer called Jones who is violently expelled from his own home by after the farm animals revolt. by the farm animals after they revolt.The architect of this revolution, an old pig, dies, and theanimals must establish a new structure in terms of gathering food, raising puppies, hours of work and leisure, etc. The ones in charge are the smartest on the farm: pigs and dogs, though the clever pigs Snowball and Napoleon emerge as leaders of the revolution.
Its greatest achievement is probably its merciless criticism against the communist system, extraordinarily expressed in sentences such as "Napoleon is always right" or "I will work more." As animals, the system they establish, against men first, then more (replace word 'moderate' with a more appropriate word), is represented by an unparalleled cruelty and hardness, although never unpleasant given the admirable subtlety of the Orwellian style.
Animal Farm demonstrates how information can be manipulated to define the past( omit comma) to taint history and thereby opening a window into the minds of the individuals. It is a real enjoyment for the reader to observe how each and every one of the characters is idiosyncratically essential to the plot, and have them reflect (omit comma) their real-life counterparts in what came to be known as the Russian Revolution.
In summary, Animal Farm is of the genre of essential classic novels, and represents an amazing and portentous plea against social injustice and totalitarian regimes. A true masterpiece.
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Good job Cogu.
I didn't know what to do about 'moderate'. I got out of reading Animal Farm when I was in high school, so I don't know the story well enough to suggest an alternative.
Hola Laura
A great attempt - I made just a few adjustments. The bold should be added and the things in brackets (...) removed.
Very well done indeed. A great comparison between the two books.
Did you know that Animal Farm was banned ( or rather nobody would publish it) in England during the war with Germany in case it offended the Russians who were our allies against Germany.?
(...) In my opinion, Animal Farm is much more effective and has greater touches of brilliance than 1984. Especially because it says the same thing in less lines. While 1984 is one of the greatest masterpieces of literature because of its style, its important influence on film and literature, and its political-sociological aspects, Animal Farm is much more specific and concise. They are so related TO each other that IT is difficult to analyse one of them without addressing the other one.
In Animal Farm we have a dictatorial and tyrannical farmer called Jones who is violently expelled from HIS (their) own home (by) after the farm animals revolt. The architect of this revolution, an old pig, dies, and the animals must establish a new structure in terms of gathering food, raising puppies, hours of work and leisure, etc., in charge ARE THE the smartest on the farm: the pigs and dogs, th(r)ough the clever pigs Snowball and Napoleon, emerge as (emerging) leaders of the revolution.
Its better achievement is probably its merciless criticism against the communist system, extraordinarily expressed in sentences such as "Napoleon is always right" or "I will work more." As animals, the system they establish, against men first, then the more moderate animals, is represented by an unparalleled cruelty and hardness, although never unpleasant given the admirable subtlety of the Orwellian style.
Animal Farm demonstrates how information can be manipulated to define the past to taint history (and) thereby opening a window into the minds of the individuals. It is a real joy (enjoyment) for the reader to observe how each and every one of the characters are idiosyncratically essential to the plot, and how they (have their) reflect their real-life counterparts in what came to be known as the Russian Revolution.
In summary, Animal Farm is of the genre of essential classic novels, and represents an amazing and portentious plea against social injustice and totalitarian regimes. A true masterpiece.
PS
I would just add that of course style in writing is the result of many things -not just grammar etc. Your "style" here is admirable.
In my opinion, Animal Farm is much more brilliant and effective than 1984, especially because it offers the same message in fewer lines. While the style of 1984 makes it one of the greatest masterpieces of literature due to its important influence on film and literature with political-sociological aspects, Animal Farm is much more specific and concise. The two are so related it is difficult to analyze one of them without addressing the other.
In Animal Farm, a dictatorial and tyrannical farmer called Jones who is violently expelled from his own home by a revolt of the farm animals. The architect of this revolution, an old pig, dies and the animals move to establish a new social structure. This new order requires coordination for gathering food, raising puppies, scheduling work and leisure, etc. The smartest animals on the farm, a pig named “Snowball and dog names “Napoleon”. Emerge as the leaders of this revolution. The better achievement is likely the merciless criticism against the communist system, extraordinarily expressed in sentences such as "Napoleon is always right" or "I will work more." As animals, the system they establish, first against men, then more moderate, is represented by an unparalleled cruelty and hardness. However, this action is never unpleasant, given the admirable subtlety of the Orwellian style.
Animal Farm demonstrates how information can be manipulated to define the past to taint history and thereby open a window into the minds of the individuals. It is a real enjoyment for the reader to observe how each and every one of the characters are idiosyncratically essential to the plot. Each has their perspective and their real-life counterparts as came to be known in the Russian Revolution.
In summary, Animal Farm is of the genre of essential classic novels, and represents an amazing and portentous plea against social injustice and totalitarian regimes. It is a true masterpiece.
Cogumela, this is my attempt. The names of novels are most often expressed with quotes and/or in italics (in the US, anyway). My format did not transfer into this post.
Hope that helps!
Very nice essay, Laura! Just a few suggestions (I did not always note it, but I did remove and add a few commas where necessary).
In my opinion, Animal Farm is much more effective and has greater touches of brilliance than 1984. Especially because it says the same thing in fewer lines (sentence fragment, consider revising). Although 1984 still remains one of the greatest masterpieces of literature because of its style, its important influence on film and literature, and its political-sociological aspects, Animal Farm is much more specific and concise. They are so interrelated, however, that is difficult to analyze one of them without also addressing the other one.
In Animal Farm we have a dictatorial and tyrannical farmer called Jones who is violently expelled from his own home by after as a result of the farm animal's revolt. The architect of this revolution, an old pig, dies, and the animals must establish a new structure in terms of gathering food, raising puppies, and allotting hours of work and leisure. in charge of the smartest on the farm: pigs and dogs, through the clever pigs Snowball and Napoleon, emerging leaders of the revolution (I'm not quite sure what you meant to say right here, but I think maybe: In charge are the smartest on the farm: The pigs and the dogs. Eventually, through (sheer) cleverness, the pigs Snowball and Napoleon emerge as leaders of the revolution.
Its best achievement is probably its merciless criticism against the communist system, extraordinarily expressed in sentences such as, "Napoleon is always right" or "I will work more." As animals, the system they establish, against men first and then against the more moderate animals, is represented by an unparalleled cruelty and hardness, although never unpleasant, given the admirable subtlety of the Orwellian style (You might consider splitting this into two separate sentences).
Animal Farm demonstrates how information can be manipulated to define the past, to taint history and thereby open a window into the minds of the individuals. It is a real joy for the reader to observe how each and every one of the characters is idiosyncratically essential to the plot and have their is paralleled by their a real-life counterpart in what came to be known as the Russian Revolution.
In summary, Animal Farm is of the genre of essential classic novels and represents an amazing and portentous plea against social injustice and totalitarian regimes. A true masterpiece.
