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Hey! I've written a paragraph that needs a proof read. Thanks!

Hey! I've written a paragraph that needs a proof read. Thanks!

1
vote

I hope there are not too many mistakes... thanks alot, I appreciate it.


EDIT version 2:

**Acabo de dibujar una cara pero la cara que he hecho ya ha sido unas cantas veces. No fue dibujada por un hombre sino un lápiz. Naturalmente la mano que sostenía el instrumento era humana pero no tuvo nada que ver en los movimientos del lápiz. Es único y muy especial, el punto no se desgasta nunca, se mueve solo y suavemente. Básicamente dibuja para ti.

Parece el sueño de todo artista ¿no? Tener algo que invariablemente crea una obra perfecta. Pero todo lo bueno esconde su trampa. El lápiz suave, magnifico, adictivo, no es lo que parece ya que sólo dibuja una cosa: el autorretrato de su último maestro. Mientras pintaba su último retrato su maestro murió misteriosamente. La obra quedó inacabada. no llegó a terminarse. Ahora el lápiz hechizado sin dueño está atascado dibujando la misma cara una y otra vez, tratando de terminar la última obra su maestro.**


I just drew a face but that face was drawn a number of times before. It wasn't drawn by a man but by a pencil. Of course the hand that held the instrument was human but that has nothing to do with the movement of the pencil. It is unique and very special, the point never wears down, it moves by itself, softly. It basically draws for you. It seems like the dream of every artist, doesn't it? That is, to have something that creates a perfect work of art every time. But with every good thing there is a catch: The smooth, magnificent, addictive pencil is not what it seems as it just draws one thing: the self portrait of its last master. While painting his final work its master died mysteriously. The work remained unfinished and was never going to be finished. Now the charmed ownerless pencil is stuck drawing the same face over and over again, trying to finish his masters final work.

1725 views
updated Apr 29, 2011
edited by dewclaw
posted by dewclaw

2 Answers

1
vote

Hi, dew smile Wow! You write very well

Here we go!


Acabo de dibujar una cara, pero la cara que he hecho ya ha sido dibujada unas cuantas veces. No (fue dibujada) por un hombre, sino por un lápiz. Naturalmente, la mano que sostenía el instrumento era humana, pero no tuvo nada que ver en los movimientos del lápiz. Es único y muy especial, la punta no se desgasta nunca, se mueve sola y suavemente. Básicamente dibuja para ti.

Parece el sueño de todo artista ¿no? Tener algo que invariablemente crea una obra perfecta. cada vezPero todo lo bueno esconde su trampa. El lápiz, suave, magnífico, adictivo, no es lo que parece, ya que sólo dibuja una cosa: el autorretrato de su último maestro. Mientras que pintaba su último retrato su maestro se murió misteriosamente. La obra se quedó inacabada y no se llegó a terminarse. Ahora, el lápiz hechizado sin dueño está atascado dibujando la misma cara una y otra vez, tratando de terminar la última obra de su maestro.


I'm being picky with my suggestions. Very good, dew !

updated Apr 29, 2011
edited by cogumela
posted by cogumela
Thanks cogu. Hm picky? ok, we shall see - dewclaw, Apr 29, 2011
1
vote

Hola, dewclaw, I do not feel competent to correct the Spanish, but do in the English, as I have edited manuscripts professionally. Here it goes: It is a fascinating story, but the grammar and spelling need a bit of work:

I just drew a face, but that face was drawn a number of times before. It wasn't drawn by a man, but by a pencil. Of course the hand that held the instrument was human, but that has nothing to do with the movement of the pencil. It is unique and very special. The point never wears down; it moves by itself, softly. It basically draws for you. It seems like the dream of every artist, doesn't it? That is, to have something that creates a perfect work of art every time. But with every good thing there is a catch: The smooth, magnificent, addictive pencil is not what it seems, as it just draws one thing: the self portrait of its last master. While painting his final work, its master died mysteriously. The work remained unfinished and was never going to be finished. Now the charmed, ownerless pencil is stuck drawing the same face over and over again, trying to finish its master's final work.

updated Apr 29, 2011
posted by NancyGrace
thanks, It's always good to get pointers on your own language :) - dewclaw, Apr 29, 2011
you take corrections very graciously, dewclaw. It's a great story, congratulations! - NancyGrace, Apr 29, 2011
well, you took time to help me, I'm not going to give out haha - dewclaw, Apr 29, 2011