How do you handle major problems and disappointments?
I have really been struggling this week because a return missions trip to the Dominican Republic this June, now appears as if it might not come to pass. If this were due to sickness, weather or some other natural occurrence, I would be disappointed but would understand that these things are sometimes beyond our control. However, in this situation, the problem centers around human selfishness/thoughtlessness. There is still the chance that a miracle could occur and that things might work out, but the sadness, stress and disappointment have been a bit overwhelming. I am still not even in a position to tell those who are awaiting our help in the D.R. and Haiti that the trip might not take place. I also haven't told my daughters yet who are so excited about serving there.
To top it off, I am feeling guilty and petty when I see news of the devastation in Japan and other places, although I know that many of the people we were planning to help were earthquake survivors from Haiti. It is even difficult for me to attempt working on Spanish right now because every time I try, it brings tears to my eyes thinking of all of the goals I had set for this trip.
When I am disappointed and sad like this, there are a few Bible verses that strengthen me. My favorite verse is in Jeremiah 32:27 Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is there anything too difficult for Me? I believe God is ultimately in control, but today, the sadness is just overwhelming me a bit.
How do you handle major disappointments? What methods do you use to get you through times of doubt, confusion and frustration and the worst....waiting? Is there anyone else out there who has a problem they would like to share that we could possibly help you with....or just "listen"?
31 Answers
I pray and ask God to show me why this certain thing is happening. When I get depressed I find that I'm thinking all about MY plans, yet when I go and find others (even if it's just little things) it helps my mood. Everything happens for a reason and God only allows things that we can handle to enter our lives. He does have a plan and God knows what is best and it's His will that that door may be closed for now. I can relate to a similar situation.
God holds the world in His hands and He cares for each lil' sparrow that falls out of the sky. He cares for us and wants us to share our disappointments and our joys with Him.
Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah. Psalm 62:8
Nicole, This thread is not a bummer or a downer; possibly someone is reading these comments and gaining strength to face a challenge but does not choose to add to the discussion.
One of the most horrible moments in my life occurred at the time our younger son was about 10 years old. When he was 8 we had to move him from our home to a medical facility 100 miles away. When he was about 10 we thought that we had a spot for him in a pediatric medical facility in our home town! We were so excited, so very excited...the thought of being able to see our child every day and to even have him home for awhile on weekends! He could play with the family pets, nap in his own bed, play in his own sandbox for short stretches of time! We were so happy, so very happy...and then the hometown facility called to say that they did not have a spot after all, they were sorry.
It was beyond devastating.
We were both up at night, reading Scripture, trusting in the Lord but so very devastated...And then, in the Book of Job, right about at the end, a verse just leaped off the page. Basically, the Lord said to Job, "So, Job, if you think that you are so great that you know more than I do and you can handle all the challenges in life, I will bow down and worship you because you will have won the victory yourself".
There it was - direct from the Word of God - we have the victory, but He wins it for us.
We both accepted that the local facility was not the right thing for our son, even though it was unspeakably painful for us to continue to have him so far away.
I will end this lengthy post by adding a comment that our older son made when we initially had to move his younger brother out of our home: "It's a good thing that Jesus is driving this family's bus; we know what the final destination is, we just don't know what route we are taking."
No matter who is reading this thread and these posts, if you have trusted the Lord Jesus and accepted His sacrifice for you, you can be assured that whatever route your life is taking, it is all under control. Proverbs 3:5 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight.
How do I handle disappointment? Well, to be honest, as a Christian often not very well! I should be an example to others after all God 's Spirit living within me This should be easier for me than for others who do not follow him. Yet the human side of me sometimes surfaces and I get angry and discouraged about it for short periods of time
Yet, truthfully I am struggling now with disappointment as I write this. I had planned to visit a special girl in Brasil We had met online and had continued the relationship for nearly 4 years but the plans have fallen-through. I became aware of this at the end of February and have been struggling to come to terms with itsince that time . God must have had a purpose for it ...I have not heard from him about this. yet.
To make matters worse I have lost contact with her some time ago through Messenger..about a month ago.
How do I deal with it, when I am responding properly ? I hand the situation over to Jesus and ask him to deal with the pain and heal me in the broken places. that is in my heart. I ask other Christians to pray for me...and just continue my relationship with God through Jesus. I turn to the Bible /scriptures for comfort. I also continue to build friendships with other people and make new ones.
Just like Leatha, my reaction, years ago, used to be basically to throw a tantrum, and feel very angry and disappointed and bitter for a long time, feeling that the world was very unfair, and durnit, why couldn't things go my way for once, and so forth.
Then I came across this little old prayer, nothing new, nothing terribly original - but it was one of several things that changed my life forever. Most of what I have done in terms of personal growth in the last 10 years or so, is in the end related to the simple principles implicit herein. I share it with you all in the hopes that it may help someone else focus on what's really important at the end of the day:
Señor, dame valor para cambiar lo que puede cambiarse;
dame serenidad para aceptar lo que no puede cambiarse
y dame sabiduría para distinguir lo uno de lo otro.
I pray.
And then I try to calm my self down with some warm words.
Hope is always there somewhere.
Hi Nicole, One of my favorite Bible commentators, Bishop F. Knecht, says this about Job: "Job practicing virtue while happy and wealthy, was admired by the angels, but he was not yet feared by the devils; but when he remained free from sin even in the depths of misery and affliction, then the devils began to tremble before him. By this, we learn that wrong, patiently endured, for God's sake, is the highest virtue."
So I draw inspiration from the book of Job. As it says in Revelation, God will reward those who endure to the end, who continue to love him even when things are going badly.
Nicole, in the more than a year that I have known you here you have always been so inspiring to everyone who had any problems or hardships to cope with. It truly saddens me to read such a downbeat message from you. I wish I had something to contribute. Though I am one of little faith I've always felt that you had more than enough to go around and it is that faith that I'm sure will bring you some peace of mind now.
Major problems and disappointments has been part of everyone's life and destiny! no one knows when it will arrive. However, whatever problems you may encounter, we should not forget that God is bigger than our problems, and God is the only key that will comfort us from disappointment!
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Lots of good examples and advice posted. I have to agree with Ian-Hill:
" I am, in a way sorry, to say that I "just wait"
I, too, have to wait - and for about two days I will fret, fume, think about what happened over and over, sleep poorly and then get over it.
I try to think of the man who was sad because he had no shoes until he met a man who had no feet.
Nicole,
I'm so sorry to hear what a difficult time you're going through right now. I have often felt the "Serenity Prayer" expresses most accurately how I deal with hardships. The first stanza is quite well known, and I hesitated to offer it because it seems too cliché, but it expresses my attitude best:
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr
When I have been angry, or felt sorry for myself because someone did not treat me the way I thought I should have been treated, or the situation did not turn out the way I thought it should, I usually end up thinking of the way Jesus was treated, and the undeserved sufferings he went through.
Sometimes I think of Lance Sijan an American pilot shot down over Vietnam, who suffered beatings, and torture and maiming, and who after repeated attempts to escape, finally died. He never gave up.
These two people remind me of what can be endured. These are the two I think of to put my disappointments and problems in perspective.
Then I look at the cowboy picture on a magnet on my refrigerator that says. " It's not the cards you are dealt, but the way you play 'em.
I have seen you call your problems petty on this site. Of course they are not petty if they trouble you.
I am encouraged to see so many reach out to you in this thread. I just wanted to be one more to do so, and one more for you to see.
There are so many wonderful answers here. If you are able to look at this as an opportunity rather than an obstacle, it can be a chance to grow. By the things I have seen you say, I am sure you will benefit from this in the long run.
Hugs for you.
This is for Nicole
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Interior of Cathedral of Christ Saviour in Moscow - The new one rebult for the 2000 Millenium is even more amazing inside
I am, in a way sorry, to say that I "just wait"
There have been many times when I have "envied" those with faith in a personal caring God.
I don't have that faith.
I wish I did have - but it does just not happen for me. I can't "make it happen"
Nicole, I apologize for making it sound like this thread was a downer, that was not my intent, just a bad choice of words. What I was trying to get across is that you are the one always cheering people up and to see that you seemed sad is what bothered me. I feel terrible about the misunderstanding and hope I'm not just digging myself a deeper hole.
What do I do: I talk with friends....I don't have that many friends actually, but those who are my friends, I can count on them to be "there".
I went through a very difficult moment lately, and something happened I wanted to share.
So we were in Munich, I told you we actually climbed the 302 steps to the Church of San Peter's. On our way out, we say that there was what was called "Nightfever" that very night, a church adventure which turned out to be one of the most beautiful meetings I have seen lately.
So we went out to have a beer at night, and once again...there we were, at the church which was on our way. So we entered.
The Church was full of people, young and old, a priest was inviting to a "talk, confession or prayer" in private. Young people were playing music and singing...suddenly the music sounded. It was really touching.
So we went to the altar and I felt really sad and said: ¿Nos ayudará? And a friend said: "claro que sí", so convinced, it was touching too.
So we left the church and on our way out a really young woman gave me a leaflet which I tucked into my pocket.
I was going to write something here, but I did not . And then I went out and the leaflet fell out of my pocket.
I cannot but think that this was like saying: do share this.
This is what the church looked like, full of candles and love.
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