Please proofread this text in English, thanks

Question

hi! I've got an essay to be marked. Any help would be appreciated. 'Write a story in which you describe how you save your friends in mountains.' It would be great to get some tips on how to write more correctly and what to avoid (important exam is coming up!!) Thanks in advance It was one of the last sunny days in September. We couldn’t imagine spending it in any other way than climbing in mountain. I took my guidebook, packed a necessery equipment and called to my friends. We all agreed to go to Tatra’s mountain.

A road was long and exhausting and all of us were tired, so we decided to stay for a while in nearby restaurant. During a meal we heard a voice from the radio: ‘We are warming against mountain climbing in Tatry. Today, it is not safe enough for tourists.’ Neither me nor my friends took speaker’s word into consideration. We were just three careless youngsters wanted to feel an adrenaline so much that they couldn’t think about any dangere. After having finished the meal we went ahead. It didn’t take us a long time to arrived. Suddenly, we discovered that the tourist path was empty. ‘Everybody believed in what the speakers said’ noticed Patric and started to laugh. None of us cared about the dangere so we started to climb to a peak. After an hour a sky overcasted and became dull. We felt a freezing cold wind on our skins and then we decided to turn back. I glimpsed at the peak one more time and saw a huge bolder crawling right into my friends.

This is how I saved their lives. I screamed to them enough quickly so they could run away. Since that day we always listen to the forecast.

fixed formatting - 00494d19, Mar 6, 2011

Answer 1

Very well done! Here are some corrections:

It was one of the last sunny days in September. We couldn’t imagine spending it in any other way than climbing a mountain. I took my guidebook, packed the necessery equipment and called to my friends. We all agreed to go to Tatra’s mountain.

The road was long and exhausting and all of us were tired, so we decided to stay for a while in a nearby restaurant. During the meal we heard a voice from the radio: ‘We are warming against mountain climbing in Tatry. Today, it is not safe enough for tourists.’ Neither my friends nor I took the speaker’s words into consideration. We were just three careless youngsters wanting to feel a rush of adrenaline so much that we couldn't think about any danger. After having finished the meal we continued ahead. It didn’t take us long to arrive. Suddenly, we discovered that the tourist path was empty. ‘Everybody believed in what the radio speaker said,’ noticed Patric, and he started to laugh. None of us cared about the danger, so we started to climb to the peak. After an hour the overcast sky became dull. We felt a freezing cold wind on our skin and then we decided to turn back. I glimpsed at the peak one more time and saw a huge bolder falling right toward my friends.

This is how I saved their lives. I screamed to them quickly enough so that they could run away. Since that day we always listen to the forecast.

Hi Mariana - I was going to do this but read your answer first and that saved me the effort. - ian-hill, Mar 6, 2011

Excellent Marianne :) - FELIZ77, Mar 6, 2011

Answer 2

It was one of the last sunny days in September. We couldn’t imagine spending it in any other way than climbing in mountain. I took my guidebook, packed a necessery equipment and called to my friends. We all agreed to go to Tatra’s mountain. A road was long and exhausting and all of us were tired, so we decided to stay for a while in nearby restaurant. During a meal we heard a voice from the radio: ‘We are warming against mountain climbing in Tatry. Today, it is not safe enough for tourists.’ Neither me nor my friends took speaker’s word into consideration. We were just three careless youngsters wanted to feel an adrenaline so much that they couldn’t think about any dangere. After having finished the meal we went ahead. It didn’t take us a long time to arrived. Suddenly, we discovered that the tourist path was empty. ‘Everybody believed in what the speakers said’ noticed Patric and started to laugh. None of us cared about the dangere so we started to climb to a peak. After an hour a sky overcasted and became dull. We felt a freezing cold wind on our skins and then we decided to turn back. I glimpsed at the peak one more time and saw a huge bolder crawling right into my friends. This is how I saved their lives. I screamed to them enough quickly so they could run away. Since that day we always listen to the forecast.

I don't know if this happened to anyone else but I couldn't read this in the actual question; it's the essay that olkacr wrote.

By the way, I didn't proofread this, I was just reposting the essay so people could see it if they couldn't before.

Great try but please see Marianne's translation corrections in highlighted text :) - FELIZ77, Mar 6, 2011

Answer 3

Marianne has done a great job in proof reading. I would just add two things:

1 We are warming against mountain climbing in Tatry.

The word should be W a r n i n g against. I have split the letters because when the r and n are written close together they can resemble/look like the letter m

In English, at least in England, we spell the name Patric K with a K at the end of the word

I hope this helps