Why So Rude?
Hi, I'm a fairly new member here and I can't understand why some of the more exerpienced members are so rude to new people on the message boards. I would like to issue a plea for compassion.
When most people are new to a website with this much content, it can be overwhelming. It takes a while to explore the site and get oriented to the content. At first they may not be aware of everything the site offers so they might ask questions that seem dumb or lazy to the advanced users. Some veterans welcome the newcomers and point out the resources available in a helpful manner, but others unfortunately are just plain mean and rude. That response can be off-putting, or even upsetting to a newbie.
I would also like to point out that when a newcomer visits this site and does the first lesson, they are immediately presented with a window and invited to "Ask a Question!" If that is the first thing they are invited to do by the web designers, it is very possibly the first thing they will do (before exploring the whole site). This is going to result in un-researched questions being asked. There might just be a motive behind that window on the part of the web designers, such as drawing the new person into the community. If so, do we really want our first encounter with the new person to be to slap them down and humiliate them?
Sometimes a more specialized answer truly is needed and the question is justified. For example, I'm a quilter. Quilting is a specialized form of American folk art with it's own vocabulary. A new person asked "How do you say 'quilt' in Spanish?" and was told "Don't be lazy. Type it into the dictionary..." Well, the Translator and the Dictionary do not have words that signify American quilts. They have words for down-filled comforters and bedspreads. Those are not "quilts."
Also, when most people first come to this site they are not aware that, for educational purposes, they should always use correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar when posting. That is not normally the case on message boards. Some veterans do tactfully instruct this and explain why, but others rip into the newcomer with an abrupt scolding tone. In a couple cases I looked at the original poster's profile and saw that English was not even their native language. Those poor souls, who were not yet able to speak proper English, and were trying to learn Spanish, were being castigated for doing the best they could while trying to participate in the community here.
If you have a naturally abrasive personality, fine. But on these boards, I would like to suggest that everyone please try to moderate yourself, speak nicely, and give others the benefit of the doubt.
To sum it up: Be kind.
Thank you!
12 Answers
They do ask you to do your best and do ask that you do what you can to ensure that you use proper spelling and grammer. I have seen terse, if not rude, responses here and for those people and those responses I apologize. On the other hand, for the most part people here want nothing more than to welcome, support and provide positive feedback to anyone getting started learning this wonderful but sometimes maddening language.
Welcome to you. Private message me if I can help at anytime. I apologize on behalf of everyone here for any response that may have been less than welcoming, supportive and helpful and I encourage you to stay with us and continue to give us your insights as well as asking your questions.
I have felt this too. It's why I read questions and do flashcards and videos but have only asked one question and tried my best once to answer a question. I'll never do either again. I came here to learn, not to be treated rudely because I'm not fluent or perfect.
Hi Happyquilter,
This unfortunately, is one of those topics that comes up from time to time. I myself have started several threads dealing with this subject. I am glad you are reminding us all again. I think it is important that we discuss this from time to time, as needed. I think your timing is perfect. 
You have brought up many valid points. I could go on and on discussing and agreeing with each one, but I won't bore you all. 
For now (and always) we have to do our best to remember to truly "welcome" people to this forum. Treat others the way you would like to be treated when you enter a new environment. I know the spelling and grammar might be horrific. Perhaps the question makes absolutely no sense. A new member could very well be asking a valid question as illustrated above on the definition of "quilt".
I think everyone (unless they are being completely x-rated or inappropriate) should be given at least one, possibly two chances. It doesn't cost anything to welcome someone kindly and even give them the definition of a word the first time around. After giving them the definition you can politely point out that we have a great dictionary here and can even provide the link. Honestly, the way some new members are treated is like having someone new move into your neighborhood and then screaming at them and calling them an idiot because they don't know where the nearest bank or grocery store is. Yes, these things might be obvious to us, but it always takes awhile to get to know "the neighborhood". Would you do this to your new neighbor? I hope not!!!
Sometimes the answerer is not really being "rude" per se, but as you mentioned he might "take a while to get to know". There are a few people like that here, but they are really great people. There is no one here that is naturally rude, that I have seen, but some are more abrasive than others. It is not intentional however, I am sure. It should also be noted that these people generally make up the upper echelon of answer givers, so I tend to take that abrasiveness more lightly than rudeness from a newbie. I know many people will disagree with me though.
Edit: I try to never be rude.
Edit 2: I am trying to say that I learn an awful lot from these people, abrasive though they may be, does that forgive their "rudeness"..... To me it does, to me it really does. I know other people will disagree, but they have helped me out a lot and I appreciate them and they are part of what makes this site great, and yes I have them in mind exactly who they are and I respect and appreciate all the help they have given me.
We've an old saying, something like: chew up the meat and spit out the bones.
A rude-sounding answer might have excellent information. I'm not saying that people should be rude or that their knowledge excuses their rudeness. I'm saying that one should not ignore an answer simply because it comes across as rude.
So, learn what you need if there is good information there and discard the rudeness as best you can.
Not exactly what the thread is about, but anyways...
I try to make people feel as welcome as I can. The Golden Rule should be used, in my opinion. Who likes to be belittled or made to feel stupid? Almost no one (there might be a few, actually.) So, we should not belittle others in our posts.
But everyone is different. Some may even be bipolar or going through strange or difficult circumstances in their personal lives, and this may be coming across in their posts.
I do agree. Also I have noticed that the translator on here is just about as helpful as Google Translator, which is not good. One problem with this translator is you can't translate phrases like many people need but are forced to type in word for word..and also it gives you one or two words that just confuse people when they plug the word into the phrase. Maybe it is just me. unlucky me lol. But people are rude. Many rude people come onto online things thinking they are so much better than people when they really are not. They are just like everyone else. He has more points and badges than you. Big whoop. Tell them to go talk to a REAL spanish person, not this slow talking, no-accent site. You just can't escape people like that though, they are everywhere. It would be so much better if everyone was just mature and friendly >.> It is not your fault if you do not know all the rules and things you can do on here. It's not like they mail you a book about it or something so of course there will be questions.
Your opinion is very welcome, happyquilter.
This is a recurring theme here, Happy, and a sensitive one, too. There's a large population of users, although not that many are really very active. New people come in every day, and unfortunately we do not have a FAQ section established (there's one for questions about the site, but not to record the questions that get asked over and over again).
In my opinion this is bad, because newbies tend to ask the same durned questions over and over again. I know that's not their fault, so after a while I have simply resorted to ignoring those questions. Every now and then, I'll just point to a thread where that particular question has been worked to death already.
Then there are the truly stooopid questions, which is possibly the hottest button on this site. We have a number of compassionate and sensitive members who believe that there's no such thing as a stupid question, and that everyone should be patiently instructed until their are able to see the light.
I used to think along similar lines, until I started encountering some questions of such staggering level of idiocy that I just can't help myself. I consider that such writers are fair game to be blasted into literary oblivion.
Some people obviously post just to be annoying, and /or just because they're bored and have nothing better to do (young kids, mostly). I don't think it's worth it wasting time with them.
So I have been known to write scathing replies to such "questions", I am unrepentant about it, and I will do it again, if given the chance. (Although lately I tend to look the other way I just refrain from writing anything. Sometimes. )
I am also annoyed by people who have no idea what they're talking about, and who post some nonsense as "this is THE answer". I don't mind people who post an answer preceded by: "I think it may be like this..." or "I'm not really sure, but how about this.." That's fine! You learn as much by attempting answers as you do by making intelligent questions. But don't tell someone who knows less than you that "this is the right answer" if you're not sure.
Now, if a question is reasonably well written, and the writer displays the capacity to think beyond "duh... look at 'em purty lil' marks that show on th'screen when I press these lil' black thingies..."; I am willing to give them a chance to get their bearings before I'll start showering them with sarcasm.
Established members, like Jeezle for example, know that I do expect them to be on their toes, or my answers to him may be "abrasive", sometimes.
Likewise, I am happy to celebrate progress, and will delight on a really good question, and a good answer given.
Now, I know I can be mean, sometimes. But outright rude and aggressive responses are not allowed, and I will let the writer know, whenever I see one of those - which by the way, is really not that often.
Webdunce said:
But everyone is different. Some may even be bipolar or going through strange or difficult circumstances in their personal lives, and this may be coming across in their posts.
I agree!!! This forum is life itself... I'm sure you know big egos in your town or neighborhood... Well, this place is not the exception. There are people with good days and people with bad days, absent-minded, annoying, cheerful, curious, energetic, frank, fussy, insensitive, humble and gentle, mature, organized, and sometimes insolent and insecure. Practical people, polite people, and bossy people too... but this is still a good place. As webdunce says: chew up the meat and spit out the bones
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I loved your thread. Anyway, you are right and you have the right to be treated kindly. Any question about how the site works I think you can contact any of the administrators. They are all nice people
On one hand I agree with you, but on the other hand there are a lot of mindless posts that are still patiently answered.
I am genuinly saddened to hear about people's negative and unhappy experiences as newbies (newcomers) to SpanishDict. This should not be your experience as we aim to be friendly and welcoming towards all people particularly new members...and as Cogumela said most people here are not rude.
Infact, there is really no excuse for nastiness, rudeness and downright unpleasant attitudes towards anyone -- whoever they are - and I know that Heidi our principal administrator here will not tolerate such attitudes of rudeness and will respond with a very direct manner towards people who do such things and delete posts if necessary or in extreme cases ban the member acting in such a way. , While we do generally encourage all people who use this site to make an attempt to translate their own words/sentences we also appreciate that people come here with a widely differing background of experience, confidence and levels of proficiency in speaking the Spanish language from the complete beginner/novice to fluent natives such as Heidi Cogumela whose contributions to the site are invaluable.
We take on board your constructive criticism and will try to be more gentle and compassionate towards those who are new to this site and find the vast range of resources to be overwhelming at times.
Many of us are already aware of the limitations of machine translations i.e: how inaccurate they can be but you need only post what you think should be a reasonable translation in the answer box using the machine or your present understanding of the language and press submit and people here will be very pleased to offer corrections advice and guidance.
We do ask for your part that you will say in your profiles what your level of ability is/what you think it may be in Spanish and your native (or first) language so that when we answer your post we can match our responses to your level of understanding
HI, happyquilter, it is a pleasure to have you here on board. 
We always try to do our best to maintain the good atmosphere here. We do have problems with some members, but don't all forums have these problems?
We also try to solve them as good as we can
Anyway, if you see anything that strikes you as especially hurtful or rude, please let us know, we want to know these things to be able to deal with them.
Thanks for your input everybody
