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How have you been treated by native Spanish speakers?

How have you been treated by native Spanish speakers?

7
votes

After reading a response from an old thread, I thought I would open a new one as the original thread dealt with the way we correct members in this forum.

Reading this answer from Stormcrow made me sad and I was wondering if anyone else has had this experience when trying to communicate with natives from either Spanish or English. I can only speak from my own experience. I have been shown nothing but help and support from absolutely every native Spanish speaking person I have met.

What are your thoughts?

Here is Stormcrows answer:

A little necromancy here...

I find myself being very offended and upset with the way my girlfriend corrects my Spanish. It doesn't bother me when anyone else does it, with exception to her mother. I just wonder if it is my being sensitive or if she is actually being insensitive. rofl I write out these long phrases and all I get in return is, "I don't have any idea what you just said." That kind of hurts. Given that she is a native speaker, and I am a beginner. I would think that she would take the extra time to at least try and figure it out anyway. And, of course, after all this she's mad at me. The whole reason I started learning was so I could communicate with her family. Needless to say, they haven't done anything to help me, either. I'm learning Spanish for myself now.

7617 views
updated Mar 4, 2011
edited by Nicole-B
posted by Nicole-B
This thread is primarily to discuss how you have been treated by natives outside of this forum. Any comments about treatment of mistakes within the forum should be directed to the original thread link above. :) - Nicole-B, Feb 10, 2011

19 Answers

7
votes

As a gringo living in mexico, I count my blessings everyday. My friends are tolerant and correct me, I have no issue with it at all. As I move around the city and speak to people, I know I make errors and they smile and help me anyway. I find people to be friendly outgoing and helpful without exception.

updated Mar 2, 2011
posted by pacofinkler
6
votes

With my limited experience, I'd say the majority has been positive, with a few exceptions.

You can't just expect people to help you or know that you need help though, you have to make your intentions and goals clear.

I used to work in an environment where we had high foreign turnaround, meaning foreigners from all over the world would come and visit for a few months and then leave. It would drive me nuts because hardly any of them ever spoke english, and when they did it sucked real real bad. However I was still friendly and could figure out what they needed even though it would irritate me to no end to have to deal with these people who could barely communicate with me, day in and day out. They seemed so rude. After a while I got used to it and actually enjoyed it.

Anyways the point of that is that it wasn't until after I started learning another language that I realized they weren't actually being rude, it was just the combination of a cultural difference and a lack of them knowing my language which made them come off as sounding rude.

The tables have turned, it is now me being the rude irritating foreigner who can barely conjugate verbs and butchers the pronunciation horribly. LOL

Over use please and thank you's, smile a lot, try to soften statements and 'commands', and be sure to be absolutely clear of your goals and intentions, (ie that you're trying to actually learn the language, not just get by with a couple simple phrases) and for the most part people will try to help you, if they know you are seeking help.

I've been told my spanish sucks really really bad in quite a rude manner many times. However the rudeness was just my perception, and quite frankly I could care less what they think it won't stop me from learning, only make me try harder.

I just wonder if it is my being sensitive or if she is actually being insensitive.

Chances are, both. And you need to tell her how you feel about the situation.

That is my experience anyways... smile

updated Feb 15, 2011
posted by cheeseisyummy
Yeah, you're right! Sorry, I've had a real emo week so far. rofl - LiveUnsheathed, Feb 10, 2011
No need to be sorry. I hope my post didnt sound condescending, because it wasnt aimed at anyone or meant to be, its just experiences Ive had. - cheeseisyummy, Feb 12, 2011
5
votes

Mostly my experiences have been wonderful. I live in Southern California in the United States and we have a large community of native speakers of Spanish. Most of them encourage me to practice speaking Spanish with them and answer my questions freely.

However, I did have one bad experience that made me afraid to practice for years. I walked up to a young man, maybe between 18 and 20 years of age, and said "buenos días". He was offended and rudely said, "we speak English you know". Yes, I do know that most people his age in his community are bilingual. But we were in a Latin neighborhood. I love Latin culture, and it was my way of trying to immerse.

And the young man needs to know that many adults in this area cannot speak English at all and some do not understand it either. They live and work within their community and they do not have to learn English. If I speak English with them they feel embarrassed and stressed. They appear to be relieved when I switch to Spanish and seem to realize that when a non-native speaker attempts to speak Spanish, it shows fondness for and attraction to the Latin community.

updated Jun 13, 2011
posted by Intense
Ouch! Sorry for that. It could have been someone just having a bad day though. You never know. - estudiante9871, Feb 10, 2011
5
votes

¡Terrible! ¡Son gente ruda y grosera que me hacen sufrir mucho, se ríen de mi, y nunca me ayudan a aprender nada!

¡No me interesa para nada aprender español, después de lo mal que me han tratado!

alt text

updated Feb 15, 2011
posted by Gekkosan
¡Vaya! ¡A pesar de tantas experiencias malas, has aprendido hablar español! - samdie, Feb 10, 2011
What have been your experiences with learning English? - BellaMargarita, Feb 10, 2011
¡Eh? ¿Yo, español? ¡Nunca! Un lenguaje horrible, difícil, y lleno de simbolitos raros. ¡Qué va - nunca aprenderé ese lenguaje! - Gekkosan, Feb 10, 2011
Funny! - LiveUnsheathed, Feb 10, 2011
Me gusta como lo has escrito en espanol. - fatchocobo, Feb 10, 2011
In all seriousness, I have met nice and not so nice people everywhere I have been. I find that if you approach people with a friendly, interested and respectful attitude, most of the time they will strive to help you nicely. Possibly the one exception... - Gekkosan, Feb 11, 2011
...in my travel experiences have been the French, who seem to delight in making life miserable for all who dare soil their lovely country with their filthy foreign presence. :-P :-) - Gekkosan, Feb 11, 2011
Some French people do seem to have a rather arrogant attitude and cold manner and seem disinterested in communicating with any other foreigners who ask for help - FELIZ77, Feb 15, 2011
Oh so I'm not the only one who is not fond of 'Fraaaance' - margaretbl, Feb 15, 2011
5
votes

I am posting another answer to this thread.

I went to do the marketing today for a party this weekend and had more than a cart of ¨stuff¨, goodies,liquor wine and groceries. I also stopped in the stores pharmacy.

Now then, I am a regular in this market,and all I can say is every person who I spoke with in the course of my wandering in the store, was helpful courteous, outgoing. and humorous at times, despite my lousy spanish.

I find the people here in the north of mexico , from all walks of life,from casual encounters to shopping, to the guy on the street to be considerate to a fault. My hat is off to México and its people!.

updated Feb 15, 2011
posted by pacofinkler
¡Bravo! - happyquilter, Feb 15, 2011
4
votes

This is really typical. I have made enemies of nearly all the Spanish speakers where I work, they are really mad that I am attempting to intrude on their little world of Spanish. They don't want anyone to know what they are talking about it Spanish, and they don't want to learn English, and it makes them SO mad that I know Spanish, they want to start fights with me all the time, and always are testing me. I am a really nice guy too so I don't know, it's frustrating. That's why I always say, if you want to learn from people, choose members of the opposite sex, they are more forgiving, however, from the OP's experience they aren't always forgiving either. Hell my mom never wants to teach me or help me and she is fluent, it's not fun for her. On the other hand Maria and Olga are always ready to help. Maybe 1 out of 50 people will want to help you with it, and 40 out of 50 will be mad because you are learning it, and 9 or 10 just won't care. That's life.... It's not like this forum where everyone wants to help you.

updated Feb 20, 2011
edited by jeezzle
posted by jeezzle
Jeezle I genuinely feel for you in your work situation. Still, it is a reflection on them as I am sure you they have the problem not you - FELIZ77, Feb 15, 2011
This is so very unfortunate, but Oh so true in some places! - pacofinkler, Feb 20, 2011
4
votes

I've had nothing but positive experiences from every native speaker in every native language - except French. In that particular case I'd say the cliches are true.

But in Spanish, Japanese and German I've received nothing but help and support. Some people will respond in English in an attempt to be helpful. Some friends will jokingly pull little tricks, but that's friends for you.

updated Feb 16, 2011
posted by KevinB
You're lucky, I've met a lot of a**holes in the States and Venezuela. - LiveUnsheathed, Feb 10, 2011
Well, yeah, they're everywhere. Speaking Spanish doesn't guarantee that someone is polite. There are other things going on between the U S and Ven, too, besides languages. - KevinB, Feb 15, 2011
I don't think you are being fair with French speakers. Moreover, it is a bit easy to put everyone in the same bag, don't you think? - Nessybach, Feb 15, 2011
Very easy. But my old boss, who is French, agrees with me. He came back from a vacation in Paris and told me that he'd forgotten how rude the French were. I told him I thought they were only rude to Americans. He said, "No, theyŕe just rude." - KevinB, Feb 16, 2011
I shouldn't generalize, though. I've had people be rude to me in many different languages, not just French. They just seem to have a desire to correct your pronunciation rather than answer your question. - KevinB, Feb 16, 2011
4
votes

Cheesieyummy said:

Anyways the point of that is that it wasn't until after I started learning another language that I realized they weren't actually being rude, it was, just the combination of a cultural difference and a lack of them knowing my language which made them come off as sounding rude.

Culture and experience does play a huge role in the way people come across. Having spent time in the Dominican Republic opened my eyes to this. Because of its proximity to Haiti, we were surrounded by nearly as many Haitians as Dominicans.

The Dominican people seemed extremely friendly, were always laughing and trying to engage everyone in conversation. The Haitians always seemed to glance at us and then look down. Attempts at communicating in limited Creole or even French were often met with puzzled looks.

After getting to know both groups of people, they were equally as kind and loving. It is just that in this particular situation, the Haitians were a bit more shy. We later found out and experienced that the Haitians and Dominicans did not always get along very well. This could have been a factor which made them behave differently. They were simply in a foreign country, attempting to create better lives for their families, but were not always welcomed with open arms.

All this to say....I agree that culture does play a huge part in the way we perceive we are being treated. smile

updated Feb 15, 2011
posted by Nicole-B
That or they stopped talking bad about you when they knew you could understand them. rofl - LiveUnsheathed, Feb 10, 2011
4
votes

I can truthfully say that I did not have one negative experience during my 3 weeks in Costa Rica. People in the shops were happy that a gringa actually spoke Spanish, and I got a ton of help and a ton of compliments on my Spanish, which is intermediate at best. Even my taxi driver became my teacher, happily correcting my sentences each day as he drove me to my tutor's house. At the end of a conversation, I would always ask if I had made sense to them, and when they said "yes" I will admit that I did a little happy dance and everyone was smiling. I think alot of it has to do with the attitude that you bring into it, and some of it has to do with pure luck depending who you run into and what mood they are in.

But for anyoe thinking of taking their Spanish on the road and trying it out, I say go for it!!!!

updated Feb 15, 2011
posted by Echoline
What a great experience! - Nicole-B, Feb 11, 2011
3
votes

I have found people in Spain to be gentle and courteous as well as positively helpful when I have practised Spanish there. I actually think that A Spanish learner of English in the UK would have a much less positive experience.

updated Mar 4, 2011
posted by lagartijaverde
Indeed, Birdie, I think maybe we could even have a thread entitled 'How have you been treated by your compatriots" - some people are just unhelpful and rude to everybody/ - galsally, Mar 4, 2011
3
votes

About a year ago I was lucky enough to find a temporary Christmas job. When one of my Latino co-workers found out that I could understand almost everything that was being said by everyone around me an APB was put out by her. For awhile I couldn't figure out why the silence would be overwhelming when I walked into a room.

I found that the Spanish population will speak English when alone, change to Spanish when a certain type walks into the room. Conversations ranged into just the nonsensical, like, buying a wallet for the husband and the son wanting a dog. But this had to be kept secret.

One time, when I was in the street and loaded down with groceries, two lovely looking girls were obstructing my path to get onto the sidewalk. I, in my usual breathy low Melanie Griffin voice said, "Could you excuse me? (smile) Thank you..."

They moved slightly and one turned to the other and said (in Spanish) "I would like to spit in her face". I stopped looked her straight in the face and said to her in Spanish, Why do you want to spit in my face?. She was shocked to say the least.

What got me on the road to Spanish several years ago, was not only a relevant new line on my resume but one time while I was doing my laundry one of my fellow tenants was verbally beating my brains out to another woman, because I was moving my neighbors laundry into a dryer when the washer stopped. I thought I would be helpful and she was enraged. She also wasn't really a tenant but came over to do her daughter's/grandson's laundry.

I have met the two of them over the course of time and one immediately hushed the other up....

Another time, I had a screamer....anytime she would wait for the elevator she would shriek on the phone in Spanish. I opened the door, after listening to many shrieking episodes, and asked if she could lower her voice, because the noise was disturbing. The daughter explained it to her, the mother said something I couldn't possibly write here. I turned to the mother and repeated my unreasonable request in her native tongue. Her face just dropped. No more screaming...

As for help, yes usually excellent. No to the fact that a blonde gringo knows the lingo certain parts of society do not like non-Latinos to know it. As I refer to it: el idioma secreto.

updated Feb 15, 2011
posted by Ann-Frances
3
votes

Intense said:

However, I did have one bad experience that made me afraid to practice for years. I walked up to a young man, maybe between 18 and 20 years of age, and said "buenos días". He was offended and rudely said, "we speak English you know". Yes, I do know that most people his age in his community are bilingual. But we were in a Latin neighborhood. I love Latin culture, and it was my way of trying to immerse.

I think this young man was probably reacting, rather over reacting to some prejudice he had previously experienced. It is a shame that this encounter kept you from practicing for years.

This brings up another question: Is there a difference between how natives, living in their own country treat us vs. Spanish speaking people who may have had struggles after moving to the U.S. or other countries. How often in the U.S. do we hear people say "You're in America...now speak English!"

Even though this might exist, I spoke with a very sweet woman from Mexico two days ago. She knew quite a bit of English but still seemed thrilled to speak to me in Spanish.

I'm very sorry for your negative experience. Please don't ever let it keep you from practicing with others though! smile

updated Feb 15, 2011
posted by Nicole-B
Yeah. It would seem Spanish speakers (here in the U.S. anyway) probably have a lot more going against them as far as people's attitudes towards them. - estudiante9871, Feb 10, 2011
2
votes

I have had only the most positve experiences, either here or in Mexico.

Regarding the person whose girlfriend wouldn't help him, I'd say that is more of a reflection on either her as a person, or their relationship, than anything else.

updated Feb 15, 2011
posted by happyquilter
I couldn´t agree more. - LuisCache, Feb 15, 2011
2
votes

I have two more thoughts to add: 1) Simple psychology: If someone thinks you want them to sit and teach you for hours, they'll pull away. But if the same person sees that you are taking classes and bringing Spanish books home from the library, if they see how much time you spend and how ernest your desire is, they are more likely to spend a few moments teach you a phrase or a word. 2) We all have different learning styles and abilities. Some people come to the United States from another country and learn English rather easily. But we are not all that way. I have a bad learning and reading ability. And then when I finally understand something, my memory is terrible and it requires a lot of effort and time to memorize. Now that I'm 40 years old, I'm noticing my memory getting worse already. I met someone from Mexico who really tried to learn English, but she is emotional and it made her feel such anxiety that she simply could not do it. Depression and anxiety disorders are rampant in the United States and can make it almost impossible for some to master a second language without kind assistance from others.

updated Feb 15, 2011
posted by Intense
2
votes

Generally speaking, I have been treated with in a friendly manner and with respect by the vast majority of native Hispanic people: both from Spain and South America .

I did have one occasion a couple of years ago when I was using my Spanish in a small restaurant, close to the hotel in which I was staying in Calella, to order a drink and the guy was sharp with me I had only politely asked, in Spanish for more time to choose and was taken aback at his reactiion. I can only hope he was having an 'off-day' rolleyes confused mad

On a more happy,note in keeping with my generally positive experiences I would add that I have been able to establish and build upon good relationships with a hotel owner and his family in Pineda de Mar.during the times I have visited the region of Cataluña in North west Spain. I have stayed in hotels in Pineda, and Calella and visited the wonderful city of Barcelona many times.

updated Feb 15, 2011
posted by FELIZ77