¿Cómo evitar preguntas personales?
Trabajo en una cadena hotelera y encuentro que muchas veces la amabilidad de ciertos clientes me deja incómodo. No me gusta cuando extraños me preguntan sobre mi estado civil, mi religión o creencias políticas, dónde vivo, etcétera.
En mi vida fuera del trabajo soy bastante franco (o antipático o rudo, como quieras) como para ignorar a los extraños, o, si me cae necesario, decir, "no te conozco, ¿quien eres para saber esa información?"
En mi trabajo charlar y chismear con clientes sobre asuntos personales depende de la discreción del individuo. Sin embargo, tenemos que observar que siempre estemos "delicados".
¿Cual pues creéis es la manera más suave para decir "por favor no me pregunte eso, ya que es privado" o "no comparto cierta información en el trabajo"?
Lo que quiero es mantener mi derechos a privacidad sin tener estos clientes quejando a mi supervisor que les traté con enemistad...
English (this is not a literal translation): I work for a hotel chain and I frequently find that certain types of clients get over friendly. I get really taken aback when strangers ask the types of questions I only discuss with friends and fellow pseudo-intellectuals: "are you married, do you think Jesus Christ is a divine being, pro-life or pro-choice, monarchy or not, where do you live, etc."
Outside work I say it like it is and I never hesitate to snub these approaches, or, if backed into a corner by an overbearingly friendly stranger, say: "none of your beeswax, buddy".
At work it is up to the employee whether or not to draw a line between work and play personas, but whatever the choice, we must always maintain professional appearances.
I just want to know what you guys think would be the "gentlest" way to say, I don't discuss such things while on the job. or that's a private matter you're asking about.
See, what I want is to keep private things private without having these clients run to my supervisor claiming I treated them with hostility.
7 Answers
No creo que haya una manera suave de decir "No es de su incumbencia"... bien podrías decirles "Disculpe la compañía no nos permite dar información a los huéspedes"... pero si alguno de tus compañeros habla gustoso de su vida personal solo te va a hacer ver a ti como antipático... como dices...
This is a very good question, and it is not a trivial matter. In Latin America at least (not sure if it's the same in Spain), we have no use for the Anglic concept of "privacy". We do not trust people who are unwilling to tell us who they are, where they come from, and other personal information that tells us something about who that person is.
I have learned this the hard way, because even though I am Latino myself, I have always been a very private person, and for most of my life I avoided talking about myself and opening up to strangers in general. But as circumstances led me to work with people, to the need to gain their trust, and eventually also to sales, I understood that I needed to change that attitude. The fact is that since I learned to just make small talk, and hear what people had to say about themselves, and became willing to tell them a little about myself, a lot of new opportunities started opening up, and my work became a lot easier!
So I don't think you can really avoid personal questions; rather, you need to learn how to manage the conversation so that you don't tell more than you need to, and your clients tell you about themselves.
I suggest that you write down what is it that you are able / willing to say about yourself, and perhaps create small fictions for those things you rather keep private. If you are married and have kids - what the heck, say it! You can make up names or nicknames for your kids, and you can put a few fake pictures in your wallet (or your phone), so that you can show your clients when the subject comes up.
I have learned that most people are happy to hear what they want to hear when it is something like religion, or politics (always dangerous subjects), so I always use the reflective technique when those subjects come up, and keep my own responses vague, or simply lie. "Didja hear what Obama said today?" "Oh, I wasn't following the news, what happened?" "Rant, rant, rant, rant... can you believe it!?" "Oh yeah man, that's something" "What would you do!?" "Oh, I dunno, what do you think?" "Rant, rant, rant" "Oh yeah, I can see just what you mean, yes sir!. Did you see that on our TV system? Are you getting all the channels you want? Did you know you can rent movies'?"...
Or let's suppose that you're gay, for example, and you don't think your clients would react well to that revelation: you could simply skirt the issue by saying lightly that oh, you just haven't found the right gal, yet, you know what with all the traveling and stuff, but hey, do you have a wife? Oh really? How about kids? Isn't that amazing? Yeah, I have a nephew that is a handful too, wow, you must be real proud of those lil' rascals... yeah tell me about it! Speaking of kids, did you know that we have an entertainment plan for children..?"
Altogether, though, I find that it is better to tell the truth as far as you are willing and able, because your best clients are those who believe you're their pal, and perceive that you're a regular fellow, and not some mysterious foreigner with a hidden agenda. But you'll find that most people just want to talk and sometimes let steam off, so say enough to make them comfortable, and tell you what you need to hear. 
Well, that's ok then - make up some fiction based on what you know are common questions. But you must be able to tell people something, otherwise they'll never trust you.
Pues no le veo el problema: ¿Es que lo que cuentas tiene que ser la verdad?
Es como cuando me preguntan a mí acerca de mi vida privada, yo me invento lo que no quiero contar y en paz
NO entiendo dónde radica el problema, al fin y al cabo tienes un trabajo cara al público, deberías tener la suficiente mano izquierda y habilidad de poder "torear" a un cliente.
Simplemente miente y da respuestas breves:
sí, señor, no señor, así es... luego redirige la pregunta de vuelta, la gente estará contenta de hablarte de su vida.
Muchas veces cuando alguien se siente incómodo por ejemplo en una fiesta, le dice al molestón "Me dedico a la venta de seguros de vida" y tal fulano se va corriendo. Ahora como ya se sabe cuál es tu trabajo, podrías decir que eso es lo que haces siempre y cuando no estas manejando la hotelera.
Wow muchas mentiras tendría que inventar para no ser mudo y al mismo tiempo no ser antagonístico. Cuando me preguntan "¿vas al concierto de Lady Gaga?" en lugar de decir "no, yo la odio cien por ciento" debo decir, "lamentablemente no, tengo que trabajar".
"¿Dónde vas a ir para la misa de navidad?" debo decir, "sí, claro, voy, con mis abuelos (aunque están muertos) a la capilla de..." en lugar de, "psss, la Navidad para mi es un día igual que cualquier otro día, que pérdida de tiempo sería".
Etcétera etcétera...ayayay voy a tener que construir una personalidad entera hecha de mentiras según vuestras recomendaciones, ya que casi todo de mis creencias no son para la persona promedia.
Sin embargo, tengo la suerte de tener una supervisora inmediata que valora la privacidad tanto como yo. A ella no le gusta que colegas le hacen preguntas sobre la salud de sus hijos, por ejemplo, o que se le piden fotos de su esposo. Ella ha investigado las quejas sobre mi, escuchó grabaciones, hizo observaciones, y se puso contenta porque yo siempro uso las palabras claves: lo siento, disculpe, Sr. Sra. usted, así como el hecho de que soy el más eficiente en el departamento. Pues las quejas fueron bloqueadas por ella, dice ella, "Doesn't matter what you think, just follow the rules and do your job. They have no business asking you those things anyway". ¡No sé que hacer si ella se quita de aquí!
Agradezco mucho que hayáis discutido conmigo, fue un buen ejercicio académico, así como una de controles y equilibrios (checks & balances?) necesario de vez en cuando para un arrogante como yo.
Hasta la próxima.
I like Gekkosan's answer. I would add that I find a little self effacing humor goes a long way to making others feel comfortable.
If someone asks if you're married you can say "no one would put up with me and my crazy job" or "can you believe it? I have someone who is willing to put up with me".
If someone asks about politics or religion, "I have such crazy opinions, it makes other people's head explode".
One I use when someone asks me about religion is, "I'm a heathen." It gives them the idea without being specific.
