When to use quedar or quedarse & ver or verse?
Hi I am bit confused about the use of quedar/quedarse and ver/verse. If I want to say "we am going to remain here" I say "vamos a quedarnos aqui" but if I want to say "I am going to remain here" do I use the reflexive or note i.e "voy a quedar aqui" or "voy a quedarme aqui".
The same question I have applies to ver/verse. If I want to say "we are going to meet my friend" I say "nos vamos a ver a mi amigo" but of I want to say "I am goin to meet my friend" do I use the reflexive or not?
Finally I am also confused about the use of relajar and relajarse. I think that I am correct to say "me voy a relajar en la playa" but why do I use the reflexive in this instance? Thanks sorry for the long drawn out query!
3 Answers
...but if I want to say "I am going to remain here" do I use the reflexive or note i.e "voy a quedar aqui" or "voy a quedarme aqui".
Easy: you have to say "Voy a quedarme aquí". The verb "quedarse" means to stay, while "quedar" alone has other meanings, like remain in a state that has to be specified. "Quedar" in this sense is rarely used.
The same question I have applies to ver/verse.
Same question, different answer. See below.
If I want to say "we are going to meet my friend" I say "nos vamos a ver a mi amigo" but of I want to say "I am going to meet my friend" do I use the reflexive or not?
In "Nos vamos a ver a mi amigo", that "nos" has nothing to do with "verse", but with "irse". The verb "ver" means "to see" (even though you translate it as "to meet"). The form "verse" can mean at least three different things (as different as an ant and a whale) depending on the sentence where it is used, and there isn't enough space here to explain every single case in detail. If you want a quick explanation, there isn't one -at least, not a good short one.
While "quedar vs quedarse" is rather black and white, "verse" means too many different thing, and all of them are related to "see", but the usage varies.
Finally I am also confused about the use of relajar and relajarse. I think that I am correct to say "me voy a relajar en la playa" but why do I use the reflexive in this instance?
"Relajar" demands someone to make relaxed. If you just want to relax, and not make other people relaxed, then you must say "relajarme".
This topic is very badly explained in most books and courses, and explanations involving the term "reflexive verb" make almost impossible to understand a topic which is not particularly straightforward. I'd advice you to buy my grammar, hehehe, but it could be years before I finish it (if I do). Funny enough, the only chapter that is nearly complete is about using this "se" with verbs.
An example of a simple sentence using a reflexive verb is "Pedro se lava" (Pedro is washing himself). In that sentence Pedro is both the subject (the one doing the washing) and the object (the person begin washed). Note that the reflexive pronoun (in this case se) typically precedes the verb (although it can be attached to infinitives).
A full explanation of all the uses of reflexive verbs is beyond the scope of this lesson. However, as a beginner you should have at least a basic understanding of the ways reflexive verbs are used so you can understand them when you see or hear them. Here are the main ways such verbs are used:
The verb's subject is acting on itself: As in the example above, this is the most straightforward use of reflexive verbs, and it is certainly the most common way they are used in English. As explained in the lesson on reflexive pronouns, in plural form the pronoun can often be translated as "themselves" or "each other," depending on the context. Some examples:
Puedo verme en el espejo. I can see myself in the mirror. ¿Qué te compraste? What did you buy yourself? Se estaban admirando. They were admiring themselves. Or, they were admiring each other. Pablo se habla. Pablo talks to himself. Verbs used only in the reflexive form: Some verbs in Spanish are used only in the reflexive form, and they may or may not be translated to English using a reflexive construction. In dictionaries, such verbs traditionally are listed with a se at the end of the infinitive, as in abstenerse, which means "to abstain." Me abstengo de votar. I am abstaining from voting. Teresa se arrepentió de sus errors. Teresa regretted her errors. Me resigno a no tener dinero. I am resigning myself to having no money.
From what I have seen, quedarse is used to say "stay or remain" when the subject is a person.
"Quédate aquí." Stay here. "Voy a quedarme en mi casa para el fin de semana." I'm going to stay in my house for the weekend.
Relajarse is used to refer back to the subject while relajar does not.
"A él le gusta relajarse en su cama." He likes to relax in his bed "Es importante relajar las reglas a veces" It's important to relax the rules sometimes.
Lastly, verse means "to meet." "Ver" means "to see."
