Anyone know any good jokes?

Question

Spanish class. Uber bored. Gimme some good jokes

Answer 1

(You have to imagine the worst possible American accent for this one) One day a cowboy walks into a bar in Mexico and asks the bar maid "Señorita señorita, por favor, ¿dónde están los baños?" The girl, who is very busy, tells him they are in the back. The cowboy goes to the bathrooms and stands there looking from one door to the other, scratching his head. He looks confused. Finally, he goes back to the barmaid and says "Señorita, señorita, por favor, am I a HOMBRE or am I a DAM% AS#?" (Tienes que pensar en el peor acento americano posible para este chiste) Un día, un vaquero entra un bar y le pregunta a la camarera "Señorita señorita, por favor, ¿dónde están los baños?". La camarera, quien está muy ocupada, le responde que están detrás del bar. El vaquero va para los baños y se queda de pie en frente de las puertas, mirando hacia una y hacia la otra la otra rascándose la cabeza. Ve confundido. Al final, vuelve a la camarera otra vez y le pide "Señorita, señorita, por favor, am I a HOMBRE or am I a DAM% AS#?"

Spanish corrections are welcome and appreciated. :) - athegr8, Dec 3, 2010

I didn't know we had an accent. we sound closer to that text to speech voice than everyone else - jizzy2k, Dec 3, 2010

Everyone has an accent. :| - RommpinCrab, Dec 3, 2010

Answer 2

An overweight American lady was visiting a souvenir shop in Mexico. She found a wonderful lamp that interested her, but she didn't see the price marked on it. She took out her English - Spanish dictionary to find how to ask for the price.

She looked up "how" first to find "como". Then she looked up much to find "mucho".

She went to the cashier and said "como mucho".

The cashier looked back at her, grinned, and said "Si".

Answer 3

A man was very sick, lying in bed dying and his wife was sitting beside him.
He said, "There is something I need to tell you."
She said, "Don't worry, it's not important."
He said, "I have to tell you that I slept with your sister, her best friend, and her daughter."
She said, "I know, just lie back and relax and let the poison work."

Un hombre estaba muy enfermo y estaba en la cama muriendo. Su esposa estaba sentado al lado.
Él dijo, "Tengo que decirte una cosa."
Ella dijo, "No te preocupe, no me importa."
Él dijo, "Tengo que decirte que me acosté con tu hermana, su mejor amiga, y su hija."
Ella dije, "Ya lo sé, recosta y relaja y permite el veneno funcionar."

lol - Leatha, Dec 3, 2010

Ella dijo, "Ya lo sé, recosta y relaja y permite el veneno funcionar." - GillBonita, Dec 6, 2010