A fun challenge - Translate these dialogs.

Question

Fellow Spanish lovers

I came across these 2 dialogs from an episode of "Twilight Zone" and it happened to have Spanish subtitles so I sat there and wrote it all down. Turns out it is a very interesting dialog as far as grammar and mood/mode goes and I'd be very interested to see how people translate it. I had a long discussion with my teacher about it today. After those who are interested gave it a try I will share what the actual subtitles are. I have some issues with some of them but I'd like to first see other people's attempts at a translation. There are 2 separate dialogs.

Dialog 1.

Scene : A director tries to set up a scene involving an actor named "Rocky". All Rocky has to do is walk through a door but Rocky has some issues.

D - Director

R - Rocky

---

D : When Rocky comes through that door...

R : Uhhh,Charlie, question...

D : OK, question Rocky ?

R : Yeah I mean...what is my motivation here ? I mean like I walk through that door and, uh, I see her...why ?

D : Why what Rocky ? What's the question ?

R : Exactly ! What's the question ? I mean any slob can walk through a door. I mean like I do it every day. But, eh, well now maybe I shouldn't walk through that door at that moment. So I'm gonna ask myself : Would I walk through that door ? It's on the basis of that answer that I find my motivation. So the question is : What's my motivation ?

D (looking dazed and confused for a minute) : Well, Rocky, Baby....Why don't we just run through it and see how it plays - shall we do that ?

---

Dialog 2

Scene : Here we have the director, Rocky and a guy looking like Shakespeare who somehow came from another dimension (I assume - after all this is the Twilight Zone so everything is possible I guess)

D : Director

R : Rocky

S : Shakespeare

NOTE1: Apparently Rocky calls everyone "Charlie" so I'm not sure who Charlie is. Not really important though.

NOTE2: Some words I cannot physically understand no matter how hard I listen so I'll just mark those parts. They are not important for the discussion though.

---

R : My role is Jeremy. What's yours ?

S : Jeremy...but Jeremy is a lad of 19, fresh as a bridegroom and his chin..(no idea what's next..something about being clean shaven like the freshly cut grass on a farm or something..anyway its a character description of how he envisions Jeremy)

R : Yeah, well we changed all that. I mean a guy who feels love ain't no 19 years old. A guy who plays Jeremy is gonna have to know what it's all about. A mature guy who knows the score. A guy with some zazz,with some (some other similar word). A guy who understands motivation.

D : Let's go team, shall we ? May we continue please ? Get ready for your cue Rocky !

R : Rhodes is my name...Rocky Rhodes. You probably saw me in "The cat on the hot, tin roof"

S (very confused) : A cat on a hot, tin roof ? And what of a chance would that be ?

R : It'd be a play, Charlie, a real play. What are you - a Tennessee knockout ?

D : Come on Rocky, let's go !

---

That's it folks. Knock yourselves out. What I'm most interested in is,of course, the use of subjunctive here so be extra mindful. Then there is a part where I think the translator misinterpreted a line completely. I'd love to see attempts of native speakers and foreigners alike. I can't wait to see what you guys come up with.

Let the challenge begin !

There are some Idioms here that I am pretty sure that do not translate well. - espanol5555, Nov 22, 2010

In there lies the challenge :) - stucky101, Nov 23, 2010

Therein lies... :) - webdunce, Nov 23, 2010

Hey this ain't no English grammar forum :) - stucky101, Nov 23, 2010

Answer 1

Everyone

Here the original for those who tried

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY2OE6vBxQM&feature=related

My thoughts :

1. The very first sentence uses subj. and I agree with that. However, nobody here used it. I'm not sure why. "When Rocky comes through that door..". This is some undetermined future so the subj. seems correct.

2. "Basado en esa respuesta encontraré.." Webdunce, you chose the same use of the future here. I guess that is a good way to do this.

3. "Bien Rocky, cariño....". Here I really think the translator misunderstood this. I think the director is saying "Let's run through it" as in "run through the scene" but the translator read it as "run through the door". The other big discussion my teacher and I had was about "and see how it plays". We weren't sure why he didn't use subjunctive like "y ves que tal resulte..." since nobody knows how it'd play out. We came to the conclusion that he didn't use subj. here cause the director is just being nice to Rocky but he really doesn't expect any particular result. It's just a non-confrontative way of saying "just walk though that **** door already !". However, if he was taking Rocky's suggestion seriously and thought he might be on to something then he would have said "que tal resulte..." because he really wants to see "how it plays".

4. "Un chico que siente al amor no puede tener 19 años" My teacher didn't like that. He thought it sounded like this guy must be younger than 19 when we really mean he must be older. He suggested "va a tener más de 19 años"

5. "El tipo que interpreta a Jeremy..." We werent sure whether this should be subj. instead. We were 50/50 on that. I voted for subj. especially since the next 2 sentences use it eventhough they seem the same grammatically. (conozca..entienda). I felt the translator broke the flow here. Those 3 sentences explaining what this guy (whoever winds up playing Jeremy) should be like should all use subj. in my mind.

6. "¿Preparado para tu entrada, Rocky?". I don't know why he changed the original command into a question. Does anybody see why that might be better ? None of you did that and I wouldn't have either.

7. "La gata sobre el tejado de zinc". This might just be the official translation. Not sure why the roof isn't hot and why the cat is a girl but those movie titles are what they are I suppose. Since the cat refers to a woman I see why its la gata. Maybe this explains why the Shakespeare guy then says "Un gato..." because he doesn't get the reference.

8. "..de pura causalidad..." Webdunce you almost hit that nail on the head ! I Personally like the guys translation of this phrase.

9. "Es una obra.." I think he changed that from "I'd be" to "It is" cause that's just how spanish speakers would say it.

My final thoughts. I cannot tell whether or not the translator is English or Spanish. What are your guys thoughts on this translation and my breakdown ?

Answer 2

Webdunce

One more little thing.

1. ¿Qué es tuyo? since papel is masculine.
2. It also should have an article I believe "¿Qué es el tuyo?"

Feel free to debate.

Good catch on the feminine / masculine thing. (oops). Looks like tuyo/a can have an article or not. Don't know when it should or shouldn't, though. But, since you've seen the transcript... - webdunce, Nov 25, 2010

Answer 3

Webdunce

Thank you - great input !

Just some obvious things I saw - maybe typos ?

"cualquiera cerdo" - Isn't it "cualquier cerdo" ? Correct me if I'm wrong.

"interpreta Jeremy" - personal "a" missing ?

Furthermore it appears you are not a friend of the word "cuál". I believe it should be "¿Cuál es la pregunta?" and "¿Cuál es mi motivatión?". Not that I understand it myself - Qué and Cuál are still a mystery for me in many cases but I know most natives say "¿Cuál es el problema?" so I'm basing it on that.

There are 2 places where you almost hit a bullseye but I won't share where yet until, hopefully, one native gives it a try.

Oh btw. I believe Rocky is referring to someone who criticizes Tennessee Williams, the author of that play.

One more hint - there seems to be a lack of subjunctive....thought I'd see more

I've implemented the corrections. For me, cúal es mi motivación seems wrong. I like qué better there, but that could be like a three year old saying that conjugating verbs doesn't feel natural. :-) - webdunce, Nov 25, 2010

Cuál and qué are still problematic for me. I almost always forget personal a, too. Cualquiera felt wrong when I wrote it, but I couldn't remember having seen cualquiero so... :)) - webdunce, Nov 25, 2010

Answer 4

D : Cuándo Rocky viene a través de esa puerta...("pasa/entra por la puerta" would have been my first impulse)

R : Uhhh, Charlie, una pregunta...

D : OK, Rocky, dímela.

R : Sí, o sea...¿Cuál es mi motivación aquí? O sea, vengo a través de esa puerta y, uh, la veo...pero porqué?

D : ¿Porqué qué, Rocky? ¿Cuál es la pregunta?

R : ¡Exactamente! ¿Cuál es la pregunta? O sea, cualquier cerdo puede ir a través de una puerta. O sea, lo hago a diario. Pero, eh, pues, tal vez ahora no debería ir a través a esa puerta en ese momento. Pues, voy a preguntarme : ¿iría a través de esa puerta? Con base en esa respuesta me encontraré la motivación. Pues, la pregunta es: ¿Cuál es mi motivación?

D (pareciendo aturdido y confundido durante unos momentos) : Pues, Rocky, Chico....¿porqué no lo hacemos y vemos cómo lo funciona—lo haremos?

---

R : Mi papel es lo de Jeremy. ¿Qué es el tuyo?

S : Jeremy...pero Jeremy es uno chico que tiene 19 años, fresco como novio y su mentón...

R : Sí, pues, cambiamos todo eso. O sea, un tipo que siente amor no tiene 19 años. Un tipo que interpreta a Jeremy va a tener que conocer todo el que es. Un tipo maduro que conoce el percal. Un tipo con algun zazz...un tipo que entiende motivación.

D : Vamanos todos, ¿OK? ¿Podemos continuar, por favor? ¡Prepárate para tu señal, Rocky!

R : Rhodes es mi nombre...Rocky Rhodes. Probablamente me viste en "Un Gato en el Caliente Techo de Estaño."

S (muy confidido) : ¿Un gato en el caliente techo de estaño? Y, por casualidad, qué sería eso?

R : Eso sería una obra, Charlie, una obra verdadera. ¿Qué eres - aborrecedor de Tennessee?

D : ¡Apúrate, Rocky! ¡Hazlo!

The way the fellow uses "I mean" all the time...it's more like saying "uh" or something. Anyway, I found "o sea" somewhere on the internet and thought I'd try it out. - webdunce, Nov 23, 2010

Maybe "es decir" for all the "I means"...I would really like a native's input on that. - webdunce, Nov 23, 2010

I guess o sea is "or be that as it may" or something. - webdunce, Nov 23, 2010

Answer 5

AmorSiempre

Thanks - nice effort ! I was beginning to think nobody is up to the challenge. You can pat yourself on the back - this must have taken a while ! It's always scary to be the first one.

I don't wanna say anything else to make it fair. Just one hint "a través de la puerta" is exactly what the subtitle said Anybody else ? - some of the advanced veterans or a Spanish native ?

You can pat yourself... :) - webdunce, Nov 23, 2010

Fixed - Now it's your turn to contribute something Spanish - stucky101, Nov 23, 2010

Answer 6

Pt. 1

There are a few words I cannot think of so I looked around for some slang terms that I could try to match but I couldn't. So I used some words that would make sense when spoken in a regular sentence. I can see how the translations may have been wrong, especially back when the Twilight Zone was at its peak and spanish speakers were still relatively new. The poor translator probably did his best. I used a * on what a digital translator said was correct. Instead of Uhh, I used Ehh because it's more of what I would typically hear in a Spanish conversation.

D: Cuando Rocky viene adentro/entra/a través* esa puerta…

R: Ehhh, Charlie, pregunta…

D: ¿OK, pregunta Rocky?

R: ¿Sí… cuál es mi motivación aquí? ¿Significo como adentro/entro/a través* de esa puerta y, ehh, mí la veo… porqué?

D: ¿Porqué qué Rocky? ¿Cuál es la pregunta?

R: ¡Exactamente! ¿Cuál es la pregunta? Significo que cualquier cochino/slob* puede caminar adentro/entro/a través* de una puerta. Significo como lo hago cada dia/diario*. Pero, eh, bien ahora quizá no hago caminar adentro/entro/a través* de esa puerta en ese momento. Tan soy preguntarme: ¿Caminaría adentro/entro/a través de esa puerta? Es en base* de esa respuesta que encuentro* mi motivación. La pregunta está tan: ¿Cuál es mi motivación?

D (que parece deslumbrada* y confundida por un minuto): Mira, Rocky, bebé….¿Por qué no nosotros funcionamos con el y vea cómo juega - puede nosotros hacer eso?/¿Porqué no que nosotros apenas funcionamos con él y que vemos cómo juega - hacer eso?*

I think maybe because I take words to literally I see "a través" as the literal "traverse" than the word "through" which doesn't actually have a Spanish equivalent but to traverse would be the same, I would just think more of an outdoor setting than going through a door. The last line was confusing, when I wrote it, it seemed a little off, so when the translator came out almost exact, I feel like I learned something! I am confused about "deslumbrada" though. Literally it means "dazzled" which is well enough to mean "dazed" but it just comes off the tongue awkwardly for me.

Pt. 2

This one was a little easier considering you couldn't get the Old English pieces, which probably would have been extra hard considering Spanish was not Shakespeare's main language anyhow. I'm much better at using small words to create big ones when it comes to Spanish.

R: Mi papel es Jeremy. ¿Cuál es el su/suyo*?

S: Jeremy… pero Jeremy está un muchacho de 19/diecinueve, frescos como un novio* y su barbilla… (\/\/\/\/\/\/\/)

R: Sí, pero nosotros cambiaron todo de eso. Significo, un hombre que el amor de la sensación no es 19/diecinueve años. Un hombre que juega Jeremy va a tener que saber está todo. Un hombre que sabe la cuenta. Un hombre con alguna sustancia, con alguno (/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/). Un hombre que entiende la motivación.

D: ¿Podemos ir? ¿Podemos continuar por favor? ¡Consiga listo para su momento/señal* Rocky!

R: Rhodes es mi nombre… Rocky Rhodes. Me vio probablemente en " El Gato En El Caliente, Lata Azotea"

S (muy confuso): ¿Un gato en un caliente, azotea de la lata? ¿Y qué ocasión ésa sería?

R: Sería un juego de teatro, Charlie, un juego de teatro verdadero. ¿Cuál es - un golpe de gracia de Tennessee?

D: ¡Venido Rocky, vamos!

The cat on the roof title was hard, I wasn't sure how it would be written. I also struggled with whether to write "play" as "juego de teatro" or just "juego". I remember once having to write out Nightclub as two seperate words and so I made sure it was the exact meaning. I have some serious respect for those who have to translate things now, although they're probably more fluent than I am regardless lol.