English language peculiarities

Question

This morning my ex-husband was here, and he said:

"You haven't seen my scarf, have you?"

Does that sound weird to other people, whatever your mother tongue? It's certainly a very common way of asking certain questions among the people I know, however because I noticed it and I think it sounds horribly pessimistic I always prefer to ask a question in a positive way:

"Have you seen my scarf?"

However, I do sometimes forget my intentions and revert to the standard old negatives..

"I don't suppose you've cleaned the car yet, have you?"

My mum's mum was even 'worse', she frequently tacked a 'no' onto the end of a question, like this.... ready to be disappointed. :(

"I don't suppose you've had any luck finding a job yet, dear, have you, no."

I aim to add others as they occur to me. Hopefully our English learners will get something out of them, and it would be lovely to hear opinions and/or examples from anyone who has any.

A negative question hoping for a positive answer I think. - ian-hill, Oct 24, 2010

Indeed, asking in the negative is far more polite than asking in the positive, in my opinion. - jeezzle, Oct 25, 2010

More polite, now that's interesting Jeezzle! I would never have thought of it that way, but I see where you're coming from. :) - galsally, Oct 25, 2010

jaja, jeezzle. That's a nice way to look at it. ~beautifleeblest~ - DaddysBabyGirl, Oct 25, 2010

Answer 1

At this point I don't think of it as a negative way of expressing something. in my experience this construction is used when you are almost certain you know the answer, but decide to ask "just in case".

To take Nicole's response, which is very similar to those of Kevin and Marianne, it's obviously used in the US, although Ray has a different viewpoint.

I suppose we could call it, instead of a 'negative' sentence, one that is expecting a response also in the negative, and it's paving the way for that; as I stated my nan even used to supply her expected answer at the end of her question!

What I would like to know is:

a) Does it happen in languages other than English? I haven't seen (or perhaps noticed, because I'm so familiar with it in English) it in Spanish books I'm reading, or heard it on tv. It isn't taught in any of the Spanish books or online lessons I use.

b) Is it taught to learners of English, as it's such a common way of asking?