Can you help me please? I'm studying English...Thanks

Question

One time, I lend a lot of money to my friend. I was 19 years old. My friend and I worked in the same company. One day her daughter got sick and I decided to help her. I told her "I have saved money if you need". I lend all my money to her because her daugther got really sick. She got cancer. Then, her daugther was getting better and better and I got happy. After that, I was thinking when she would return my money . We had a good relationship like friends but, after that she changed. She got a good promotion in the Company as a secretary. I got angry with her because she never returned my money.I shouldn't have done this, because I didn't know her at all. Instead of this I should have done an activity to recolect money for her daugther.

Changed category. - webdunce, Oct 18, 2010

Hi, Pam! Welcome to the Forum. I changed the text spelled words into correct English because it is one of the forum rules to help the students who are studying English. - sanlee, Oct 18, 2010

Answer 1

One time, I lend a lot of money to my friend. I was 19 years old. My friend and I worked in the same company. One day her daughter got sick and I decided to help her. I told her "I have saved money if you need". I lend all my money to her because her daugther got really sick. She got cancer. Then, her daugther was getting better and better and I got happy. After that, I was thinking when she would return my money . We had a good relationship like friends but, after that she changed. She got a good promotion in the Company as a secretary. I got angry with her because she never returned my money.I shouldn't have done this, because I didn't know her at all. Instead of this I should have done an activity to recolect money for her daugther.

One time, I lent a lot of money to my friend. I was 19 years old. My friend and I worked in the same company. One day her daughter got sick, and I decided to help her. I told her, "I have saved up some money, which you can borrow, if you need it". I lent all my money to her because her daughter got really sick. She got cancer. Then, her daughter was getting better and better, and I got happy. After that, I thought she would return my money . We had a good relationship like friends, but, after that, she changed. She got a good promotion in the company; she was promoted to secretary. I got angry with her because she never returned my money.I shouldn't have lent her my money, because I didn't know her at all. Instead of this, I should have helped raise money for her daughter.

I corrected grammatical errors and added phrases when needed to help it make sense. I did not attempt to correct stylistic problems. - webdunce, Oct 18, 2010

Answer 2

Good morning!

Please correct your spelling of daughter (it's probably a typo but evidently wasn't spotted.)

I see webdunce has done a good job with corrections, however I have doubts about a few of your sentences, I think that possibly they are all related to some differences between US and British English, however as far as I know the grammar for written English is the same on both continents? Maybe someone can confirm/deny this for us?

1) 'One time' should be 'Once'.

2) We would not say 'Her daughter got sick' and 'she got cancer' either, but 'her daughter became ill with cancer.'

3) Nor would we say 'I got happy', I would say 'I felt happy' 'I became happy' or 'I cheered up' depending on whether it's spoken or written.

4) 'I got angry' - again I'd say 'became angry'.

5) She 'got a good promotion' should be 'she received a good promotion' or 'she was given a good promotion'

As you see, it's mostly the use of 'got' that seems incorrect to me. In spoken US English I realise it's common, but to me it doesn't seem correct to use it when writing.

Help required I think, from a US grammar expert!

Misspelling of daughter has been noted and corrected in my post. - webdunce, Oct 18, 2010

Got has definitely been overused...got happy being the worst case. (I would say "was happy" there). Also, it is a fairly choppy essay using too many simple sentences. But, those are stylistic problems. I'm not too sure to what extent those should be... - webdunce, Oct 18, 2010

...corrected. I would need to know how this text is being used and what the expectations of the recipient are. - webdunce, Oct 18, 2010

I do say got sick, got angry, got cancer and similar--just not in formal writing. - webdunce, Oct 18, 2010

Such uses of got would probably get you red marks from a teacher...it's definitely casual speech. - webdunce, Oct 18, 2010

I have no problem with using one time for once, either. I don't know if it is a grammatical issue, though. - webdunce, Oct 18, 2010

Yes, as I said I think it's mostly the difference between US and British English. I was assuming, becasue all we have to go on is that pamech says he/she is studying English.. - galsally, Oct 19, 2010

..that it is intended to be a piece of formal writing, but you're right, it could be anything! :) - galsally, Oct 19, 2010