HomeQ&AIs this text correct?

Is this text correct?

3
votes

We women of Tecalpulco Mexico

work hard, to provide for ourselves.

Ours is a unique capacity

a tradition of jewelry craft

.

We produce

some of the finest hand crafted jewelry

that you can find anyplace on the earth.

Our desire is to share with our sisters in other countries the power and success we can all make by directly connecting the Producer to the Market

2235 views
updated JUL 30, 2010
edited by Eddy
posted by MariaAlaniz
¿Puedes poner el texto en español, para que nos aseguremos de que nuestras sugerencias estén bien para ti? :-) - chaparrito, JUL 20, 2010
I should add that this is a very good attempt, we all understand what you're saying. - fontanero, JUL 20, 2010
Ditto on that! Nice job. :-) - chaparrito, JUL 20, 2010

9 Answers

3
votes

Hola María! He aquí unas sugerencias:


We women of Tecalpulco Mexico

work hard to provide for ourselves.

Ours is a unique capacity (quizás, "ability"?)

a tradition of jewelry craft

.

We produce

some of the finest hand-crafted jewelry

that you can find any place (quizás, "anywhere"?) on the earth.

Our desire is to share with our sisters in other countries the power and success we can all make (quizás, "have"?) by directly connecting the Producer to the Market.


Estas son unas sugerencias para que tenga más sentido. Y no es correcto decir "an unique". Ya lo has escrito bien. En inglés tiene que ser: "a unique."

Sería aún mejor si pusieras el texto en español. De esta manera pudiéramos confirmar que lo que has traducido transmite bien tus ideas. Por ejemplo, la palabra 'capacidad' se puede traducir "capacity". Sin embargo, la palabra "ability" quizás transmite en inglés tu idea. Pero sin poder leer lo en español, no estoy seguro de lo que quisieras decir. También la última oración no es muy clara, aunque no es incorrecta en sentido gramático.

¡Espero que esto te ayude! grin (Y disculpe los errores que estén en mi español.) smile

updated JUL 30, 2010
posted by chaparrito
¡Ay! Qué lento estoy... :-( - chaparrito, JUL 20, 2010
Hi Chaparrito,I missed you - melipiru, JUL 20, 2010
Gracias, Meli. :-) - chaparrito, JUL 20, 2010
Hi, Chaparrito! Nice to see you :) - alba3, JUL 20, 2010
Gracias, Alba. :-) - chaparrito, JUL 20, 2010
2
votes

Thank you all for your help. I am still learning and do not know what to think about how to best use the words and I need to improve my knowledge of both languages

updated JUL 31, 2010
edited by MariaAlaniz
posted by MariaAlaniz
2
votes

We have also wondered if the word "Consumer" is good to use in this sentence, however something seems wrong about it since people do not consume jewelry

In economic terms, a consumer is anyone who buys goods or services for his personal use (or needs) and not for resale or to use to produce other goods for resale.

En términos económicos, la palabra «consumer» significa «cualquiera que compra los productos o servicios para poder usarlos para sí mismo y no para que pueda venderlos ni para que pueda utilizarlos para producir otros productos y servicios para ponerlos a la venta.»


Tener la impresión de que he dado demasiadas patadas al diccionario. Por favor si ves errores, corrígelos.

updated JUL 22, 2010
edited by Izanoni1
posted by Izanoni1
2
votes

May I suggest:

We, the women of Tecalpulco Mexico,

work hard to provide for ourselves.

I'm not sure capacity is the word you want, maybe "heritage"

Ours is a unique heritage, a tradition of jewellery craft.

We produce some of the finest handcrafted jewellery, that can be found anyplace on Earth.

Our desire is to share with our sisters in other countries, the power and success we can all have, by directly connecting the producers to their market.

I have kept your words as much as possible, but there are many ways to express these points.

updated JUL 22, 2010
edited by fontanero
posted by fontanero
I like the word "heritage" here. Note that "jewellery" is the spelling in England and "jewelry" in the US. - alba3, JUL 20, 2010
oh sorry Font I think we were on in unison! - margaretbl, JUL 20, 2010
I'm English, so I spell it that way. I suppose it depends where the text will be shown. - fontanero, JUL 20, 2010
Great minds Margaret. - fontanero, JUL 20, 2010
2
votes

We women of Tecalpulco, Mexico, work hard to provide for ourselves. Ours is a unique capacity, a tradition of jewelry craft. We produce some of the finest hand-crafted jewelry that you can find anyplace on the earth.

Our desire is to share with our sisters in other countries the power and success that we can all achieve by directly connecting the producer to the market.

I'm not sure about capitalizing "Producer" and "Market". "Consumer" might be a better word choice than "Market".

updated JUL 22, 2010
posted by alba3
Yes, consumer might be better, or even customer. No capitals on them. - fontanero, JUL 20, 2010
Achieve fits nicely too. - fontanero, JUL 20, 2010
2
votes

That is very good, I can tweak a bit too if you like:

We women of Tecalpulco, Mexico

work hard, to provide for ourselves. (you don't need the comma here)

Ours is a unique capacity (Maybe a bit better to say 'We have a unique capacity"

a tradition of jewelry craft "in the tradition..."

.

We produce

some of the finest hand crafted jewelry

that you can find anyplace on the earth. (Perfect and if you want you can even remove 'that' really not necessary)

Our desire is to share with our sisters in other countries the power and success we can all make by directly connecting the Producer to the Marke (we can all have by...) ... to the Market ? and producer and market don't need to be in capitals!

updated JUL 22, 2010
posted by margaretbl
1
vote

Many thanks friends your comments are very welcome and your good will is a blessing.

We have also wondered if the word "Consumer" is good to use in this sentence, however something seems wrong about it since people do not consume jewelry. What do others think? I am trying to get across the idea of a more direct relationship between the jewelry-maker artisans in Mexico and the women in the United States who wear and admire these earrings, necklaces, and bracelets.

updated JUL 22, 2010
edited by MariaAlaniz
posted by MariaAlaniz
Instead of consumer, you could use customer, client, buyer, purchaser, or something else. You have to happy with it, not us. - fontanero, JUL 22, 2010
1
vote

Hola Maria, I personally like the sentence 'connecting the producer to the market' but consumer does work. Don't forget that one of the definitions of 'consumer' is 'one that utilizes economic goods', which applies in your case. I prefer 'market' because it is 'a specified category of potential buyers' and that is I think what you are looking for. ¡Buena suerte!!!

updated JUL 22, 2010
posted by margaretbl
1
vote

well there is probably a lot of sneaky grammar mistakes that i don't know about, but i'd say "an unique" and "hand-crafted". oh yeah and the last sentence sounds a little weird, i'd switch around the sisters in other countries part by saying something like "it is our desire to share the power and success... to the Marke with our sisters in other countries". that's just what i'd switch. it looks correct to me though. correct enough.

updated JUL 22, 2010
posted by wojo
Nooooo not "an unique", "a" refers to "capacity" and not to "unique"! - chicasabrosa, JUL 20, 2010
Definitly not "an unique" in English. It is always "a unique". :-) - chaparrito, JUL 20, 2010
I looked this one up and it appears that it is correct to write unique w/either "a" or "an" though it is more common to write "a" because the "u" sounds like "you" instead of "u" (like "an ugly duck"), so, "a united country" "a uniform" - alba3, JUL 20, 2010
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