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English Football Put Downs


Quoted by a player immediately after the England v Algeria match.

I don´t understand how we could only manage a draw against an abysmal team who we should have beaten easily. I am ashamed to be called Algerian.

I posted this picture because this is what the majority of our members call football.

updated JUL 12, 2010
edited by Eddy
posted by Eddy
Thats not an English football though. - fontanero, JUL 12, 2010
I was referring to America. - Eddy, JUL 12, 2010
Perhaps I should have said "proper football" - fontanero, JUL 12, 2010

3 Answers


Here are a few more Eddy.

Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still alive. He said that the England Team performance on Saturday was completely abysmal. British intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the message could have been recorded anytime in the last 44 years.

Robert Green - The only man to leave Africa with out catching anything .

The England team went to visit an orphanage in South Africa this morning, "its so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling, and facing the impossible" said Jamal Omboto, aged 6.

Fifa have released a statement saying the fan didn't break into the dressing room after all, but was let in by Rob Green.

What's the difference between Rob Green's spill and BP's spill? - Robert Green has got a cap for his.

The FA have launched an inquiry to find out how a fan found his way into the dressing room. And another enquiry into how Aaron Lennon found his way into the dressing room.

Oxo are introducing a new white Oxo cube with a red cross on it, in support of The England team. It's called the "Laughing Stock"!!

An OXO cube is used to make gravy (meat sauce) called "stock"

Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out..."

updated JUL 12, 2010
edited by ian-hill
posted by ian-hill
I'm liking Bin Laden, orphanage and oxo. - fontanero, JUL 12, 2010
I thought something was missing Eddy - guess it needed deleting though. - ian-hill, JUL 12, 2010

Here´s another.

England's next friendly will be against Iceland and if they win that they'll try against a Tesco 11.

updated JUL 12, 2010
posted by Eddy

Does our team manager remind you of anyone.

Tommy Cooper

updated JUL 16, 2010
posted by Eddy
Thats not nice, I'm a big fan of Tommy Cooper. - fontanero, JUL 12, 2010
You are right Tommy Cooper was the only comedian I ever saw who didn't have to do or say anything to make me laugh. - ian-hill, JUL 12, 2010
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