HomeQ&AAbuse in any kind of its manifestations is ugly and unkind. Do you agree?

Abuse in any kind of its manifestations is ugly and unkind. Do you agree?

5
votes

Abusing Friendliness of Spanish and English Natives: This is not a private Spanish/English class free of charge!

It has come to my ears that there are people who think the chats with Spanish natives are private classes free of charge.

I am completely outraged! mad

The skype chats were implemented on the site to give the opportunity to both Spanish speakers to practise English as well as English natives to practise Spanish.

So there is one person (so far) who has taken Meli as a private teacher as our group chat is too late ...of course, why should they need a group chat if they already have a private teacher? rolleyes Same thing happened to Markbaker being "used" as a private English teacher. mad

This is very abusive, we should all remember that everybody is learning here!

Some people do private talks, but if they do, like Meli or Mark, please remember, this should be a fifty fifty talk, both English and Spanish!

Now, you could tell me, hey, why don't they talk for themselves? Why..because there are people who simply do not talk out and hold back and want to be kind and friendly all the time and what is the result: abuse!

I really hate this stuff, abuse in any kind of manifestation is ugly and unkind!

2584 views
updated JUL 8, 2010
edited by 00494d19
posted by 00494d19

9 Answers

2
votes

Personally, I think the ones here to learn English are precious, and helping them learn is not only fun, it's an honor.

A wise business man once said that you can get anything in the world you want by helping other people get what they want. That is definitely true here, because you wouldn't have that chat partner were it not for their interest in learning English. So help them get what they want, and if they are any kind of person at all, they'll help you get what you want in return.

updated OCT 22, 2010
posted by Goyo
2
votes

I don't know anything about the format of these conversations, but would it be possible to have a monitor?

updated JUL 7, 2010
posted by 00813f2a
2
votes

Abuse of any kind is despicable. We all know it's wrong, and we should avoid it at all costs. However, it is also a fact of life. There are always abusive people who will attempt to take advantage of a situation, or the goodwill of people, just because they can.

Abuse is also a form of relationship: there is the abuser, and there is the person who stands for it. So in my view, the best way to put a stop to it is refusing to allow it.

Yes messages like this are useful and important, and yes there are people who do not like confrontation, but there is a difference between "being nice" and letting someone take advantage of you. So I think we all need to be able to set limits, and say: "Sorry, I can't do that / I don't want to do that / you are going too far".

It may not be pleasant, but it is important to manage that skill. Else, there are still going to be people who, in spite of reading this thread, will nevertheless try to push the limit and get as much as they can for free.

updated JUL 7, 2010
edited by Gekkosan
posted by Gekkosan
muchas gracias gekko, la palabra de la sabiduria y lo digo en serio:) - 00494d19, JUL 7, 2010
2
votes

I completely agree with you, Heidita, and I think many others will, too.

If I may add my 2cents (as a newbie to Skype) I love being able to get to know others from SpanishDict and enjoy our conversations. One of the reasons is because, even though we have a Blast, we do stay on task with the purpose...which is language-learning. I've experienced a couple of participants who have abused the "conversational" aspect of this opportunity...and you know who you are (because I've already made it clear to you).

I'm as friendly as can be (chatting away til the wee hours) LOL but I'm not on Skype to resolve 'personal' issues. Lord knows, I have enough problems of my own. It's called 'Life'. It doesn't make sense that half the participants stay in Invisible or Away mode just to try to avoid repetitive conversations concerning absolutely nothing. angry

At the very least, those types of conversations should include Spanish (or English for those trying to learn English). I mean, if you want to talk to me about the cow jumping over the moon, will you please say it in Spanish? I mean, at least some of the time, for crying out loud. Gracias! smile

Again, I truly enjoy the conversations and I hope I'm not coming across in a horrible way (and maybe it's just an age-thing, too), but I prefer to converse, at least half the time I'm there, for the reason I joined and not for a let's-talk-about-anything-Other-than-language "Social". rolleyes

Anyway...back to Your point red face jejeje....Thanks for giving the abuse the attention it deserves.

updated JUL 7, 2010
posted by Dee914
BTW...this only concerns the one-on-one Chats...not our Saturday Chat. We definitely speak Spanish there! jejeje - Dee914, JUL 7, 2010
1
vote

Well this is interesting and I certainly agree, I just hope that I'm not thought of as one of the so called "abusers". I don't have a lot to say on Saturday's chats because I'm simply not that sure of myself when it comes to trying to speak Spanish. Also I hope no one thinks I'm just lurking about on the chats because my green light is on. I have a terrible habit of leaving one of my computers on all of the time so it would appear that I never log off. I'm alway happy to say hello when someone chimes in and I can probably get longwinded if given the opportunity but it is hard to say goodbye sometimes. Anyway Heidita, if I am guilty please tell me.

Gary

updated JUL 7, 2010
posted by Yeser007
I was talking about the person whose post got deleted, Im sorry, i still dont want to give names, but abusive as hell! You are not , gary... - 00494d19, JUL 7, 2010
1
vote

I don't know anything about the format of these conversations, but would it be possible to have a monitor?

HI robertico, I am the monitor on the group chats. wink

Abusive are those when somebody takes advantage of the good will of certain members and doesn't even think of some kind of reciprocity.

there are people who do not like confrontation, but there is a difference between "being nice" and letting someone take advantage of you. So I think we all need to be able to set limits, and say: "Sorry, I can't do that / I don't want to do that / you are going to far".

Thanks gekko, I hope this will be possible now. On the monitored chats this does not happen, but the few natives we have are getting letters, hey can you talk to me...and some don't even think of giving something back, that is plain abuse.

updated JUL 7, 2010
posted by 00494d19
"Abusive are those" ▬► "Abuses occur" - Izanoni1, JUL 7, 2010
1
vote

I was just told by one of the abusers that I should mind my own business and go ^$%&.

However, I think abusive behaviour of a forum member is somehow my business and the person met Meli through this site.

I really wish these things didn't happen, but it is always so nice to be able to tell the other person, hey, it is your fault! You never told me you wanted to speak English!

If it is a friendship we are talking about, a friend should know the needs of the other person, unless of course we are looking for private and free tuition, then the other's needs are completely secondary for uswink

Please remember, this site is a friendly place and we would all like to think you are interested in giving as well as taking, thankssmile

updated JUL 7, 2010
posted by 00494d19
Heidita, I am horrified to hear that you were spoken to in such a disrespectful manner :ohh: - FELIZ77, JUL 7, 2010
1
vote

Heidita said:

....this should be a fifty fifty talk, both English and Spanish!

Absolutely!

updated JUL 7, 2010
posted by --Mariana--
0
votes

Estoy de acuerdo.

updated JUL 7, 2010
posted by Delores--Lindsey
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