Does this make sense (my translation).

Question

I am translating this text from the English to Spanish. My concern is whether I should use usted or maybe está. I am asking you guys because I need grammatically correct answers and I'm not a spanish whiz.

Usted desbloquea está puerta con la llave de la imaginación. Más allá de que es otra dimensión: una dimensión del sonido, una dimensión de la vista, una dimensión de la mente. Está moviendo en una tierra de sombras y de sustancias, de las cosas y las ideas. Usted acaba de cruzado a ... la Dimensión Desconocida.

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond that is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of shadows and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into ... the Twilight Zone.

Answer 1

Usted desbloquea esta puerta con la llave de la imaginación. Más allá de que es otra dimensión: una dimensión del sonido, una dimensión de la vista, una dimensión de la mente. Está moviendo en una tierra de sombras y de sustancias, de las cosas y las ideas. Usted acaba de cruzar a ... la Dimensión Desconocida.

This is what I saw.

Answer 2

Your translation has lots of potential, dorem. Here is a suggested revision with the changes highlighted.

Se abre esta puerta con la llave de la imaginación. Más allá hay otra dimensión: una dimensión del sonido, una dimensión de la vista, una dimensión de la mente. Está entrando en una tierra de sombras y de sustancias, de las cosas y de las ideas. Se acaba de cruzar a ... La zona de penumbra.

As was previously pointed out by lorenzo9:

La zona de penumbra would be twilight zone, but the show was called La dimensión desconocida.

So you can use whichever phrase you prefer at the end of the paragraph.

Thanks for your kind words and , of course, your help (most of which I incorporated). doremi - doremi287, JUN 26, 2010

Not to put a monkey wrench in things, but wasn't it "not only a dimension of sight and sound, but of mind"? - Zachary-Santamaria, JUN 26, 2010

Answer 3

Well, yes you should probably use usted in an informal address such as this, but I think that "you" in this case is retorical (can apply to anyone) so you might think about placeing "se" before a verb in the third person. As in "se decen" meaning they say or people say. I imagine that "unlock" is a verb (although I must confess I am not familiar with it) and so figure out what its third person congugation is, and place "se" before it.

a better example would be "como se dice..." how do you say... - Zachary-Santamaria, JUN 26, 2010

Right, Zachary. So to translate "they say" or "people say", simply use "se dice". - waltico, JUN 26, 2010

Thaank you very much. I will study that method of usage. doremi287 - doremi287, JUN 26, 2010