Dealing with Mr. and Ms. Crankypants
I know that there are some people who are not happy unless they are unhappy.
Then there is the second variety, which includes basically cheerful people, who due to circumstances, have momentary lapses into "Snarkyville". Usually these people are quick to ask for forgiveness and always feel embarrassed by their behavior.
The third group, is a rather new group to me. However, it seems to be growing every day. These are the people that have been relatively nice or at least basically civil since the time they are met. Then, for some unknown reason, it seems like they take on a whole new personality. Just when you think they are going to turn around and say "I'm so sorry, please forgive my crankiness!", they turn around and say something even more obnoxious. They just don't snap out of it. This has happened to me, to people I know and dare I say it, here in the forum.
Is this a new phenomenon, a sign of the times, or something else?
Please share your experiences and especially....your solutions. (but no names 
) 
14 Answers
I think we have to deal with lots of cranky people on the site too. Cranky is not the same as grumpy, mind you
People who complain about almost anything, too many ads, too many threads not concerning strict learning, site does not work fast enough, lessons could be clearer, "I am going to leave this site" announcements for all the above mentioned, "this was about time" when a thread is opened apparently not fast or soon enough...I could mention a hundred more things.
And of course, those members never ever offer a solution, no sirebob, it is just a matter of complaining, which obviously makes some people happy
Maybe all those who complain almost all the time would like to remember: this is a free site, you are free to come and participate and free to go and find a better site, which does not exist of course
You are not free to complain constantly about the supposed (in your opinion) inefficiency of the volunteers who work here for free, which makes all the admins (except Paralee and Christopher), all those wonderful members who open thread after thread, correct and edit threads, answer all questions even those that are repeated and repeated and repeated, those who constantly welcome each and every newbie ....all of whom are criticized and talked to as though anybody could do a much better "job" than those who actually do it!
Possible Solution:
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:14-21)
Women...I can remember several not politically correct phrases that applied to women's erratic behavior. Now, we chalk it up to shifts in hormone levels.
Men...too much red meat, not enough sex or beer, haven't squashed anything lately, that woman; heck, we don't need a reason. Don't poke the bear.
Lack of caffeine, high blood sugar, stress, too much sun, who knows.?
I think that it's a government conspiracy or the thinner aluminum foil that they are making nowadays. It's getting harder and harder to successfully block the alien rays.
Hoping to give the benefit of the doubt (although you are quite right there are some definite cranky pants out there 
) sometimes when typing or texting, without the benefit of facial expressions and the niceties of tone etc sometimes a totally innocuous comment could seem to be quite obnoxious although the writer may be quite shocked to realize this.
.....the second variety, which includes basically cheerful people, who due to circumstances, have momentary lapses into "Snarkyville". Usually these people are quick to ask for forgiveness and always feel embarrassed by their behavior.
That's me! Usually, I know when I'm cranky and keep things to myself for the day so that I don't spoil anyone else's happiness. Luckily, this doesn't happen often.
When I'm confronted with someone who's rude I try my best not to be rude in kind, but rather keep in mind what Mahatma Gandhi said "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Other times I just say "Back the f#$!@ off!" Jejeje
As for cranky members on the site who criticize the way SD is managed -- don't forget that you are free to leave anytime.
I have read all these answers with great envy , what terrific full and interesting lives you lead meeting all those grumpy snarky people , they are your treasures teaching you how not to react when they push your buttons , showing you how to respond when it must be obvious that they need a reaction,any response is better than none at all . Most people who are grumpy, unhappy , or showing ingratitude are in need of a quiet word , an acknowledgment that they exist and are worthy of connection , it is often our inability to notice the frail attempts to reach out to us from those near by which sometimes forces them to go to extreme lengths to attract our attention. they are the child who will throw a tantrum to get mommy's attention , maybe if we slow down and become more aware of those around us and be mindful of their needs they would have less reason to be so **** annoying and stop complaining when I make silly mistakes and don't like my posts and cant see my jokes and hate the way i write and tell me I speak funny and i live in a crap place and why don't you use the tilde and you have forgotten capitals again and that is the wrong word in wrong context and why don't you ever use punctuations and and and. Have you ever met people like that ? well i have and they really give me the Irriits. Whew I really feel better now. But don't tell mommy i wrote this she will get all grumpy again. 
(Romans 12:14-21)
I getting through the Spanish version of the Bible one passage at a time.
Romanos 12:14-21 (Reina-Valera 1995)
14 Bendecid a los que os persiguen; bendecid y no maldigáis.
15 Gozaos con los que se gozan; llorad con los que lloran.
16 Unánimes entre vosotros; no seáis altivos, sino asociaos con los humildes. No seáis sabios en vuestra propia opinión.
17 No paguéis a nadie mal por mal; procurad lo bueno delante de todos los hombres
18 Si es posible, en cuanto dependa de vosotros, estad en paz con todos los hombres.
19 No os venguéis vosotros mismos, amados míos, sino dejad lugar a la ira de Dios, porque escrito está: «Mía es la venganza, yo pagaré, dice el Señor».
20 Así que, si tu enemigo tiene hambre, dale de comer; si tiene sed, dale de beber, pues haciendo esto, harás que le arda la cara de vergüenza.
21 No seas vencido de lo malo, sino vence con el bien el mal.
Internet forums are a perfect place for misunderstandings to happen. When one lacks the ability to read the physiology of the other person, from which we receive 80% of our communication, it's really easy to be misunderstood or to misunderstand.
Let me see, 1 in 5 males are unemployed or underemployed in the US, yeah, I'll go ahead and say it, men have been hit especially hard in this recession. Construction, manufacturing and transportation jobs have been hit the hardest, and these are industries that are dominated by males. The construction industry unemployment rate is 25%, for example. With home foreclosures at all-time highs added to the glut of new homes that are unsold or empty, there is no end in site. I have two large clients, one is a trucking company, the other a manufacturer of large steel buildings, and they both are operating about 40% less than they were in mid-year 2008.
I say all that to say this, even though people like to deny the reality of stress, it is a reality of living today. I personally lost 35% of my business in 2009, that is something extremely difficult to recover from. It's easy to wake up during the middle of the night with an anxiety attack when you see your business of 20 years crumbling around you and there's nothing you can do about it.
Now, having said all that, there's still no excuse for being rude or unkind to people, and sometimes when I find myself having to apologize too often to people, I have to back up and do a reality check. The other side of this coin is, it's very easy to be smarky with people that are rude and unkind, like that is something that we would never do, when in fact, given the right moment during the right circumstance, we as humans are capable of just about anything. It's extremely easy to sit behind the glowing phosphors (or LCD's) or our computers and type something that we probably would never say in person. Is it even real? Isn't this "cyberspace"? Can't we just turn off the monitor and all this "stuff" just goes away?
I'm really not a nice guy, but I really do try to be nice to other people. Sometimes I don't have the good sense to leave a conversation when I should, and sometimes I say/write things I shouldn't. I have discovered that I am actually human, and not something perfect that never makes mistakes.
When it comes to dealing with other people, after one or two unpleasant encounters, I just choose not to participate anymore.
I'm fed up - you guys have left me with nothing to say.
.
I hadn't seen 'public' criticisms, of course I miss most things that go around. - Jack-OBrien
No you do not, Jack-OBrian, you know very well what I am talking about.
Marie-Claire said:
sometimes when typing or texting, without the benefit of facial expressions and the niceties of tone etc sometimes a totally innocuous comment could seem to be quite obnoxious although the writer may be quite shocked to realize this.
This is so true and has even been discussed here in the forum. But what I have found is that sometimes, even after you have let the other person know that what they said was upsetting, they don't apologize, they write back with something even more cruel.
But then there are also the people you talk to in person who behave the same way. If this was something that was just happening to me, I would think perhaps I was the problem. However, I have been speaking with several people who have noticed this shift recently.
Hi, Nicole, I've noticed the same phenomenon in my neck of the woods!
I wonder if people are on overload - too much work, too much TV news, too much stress (I really dislike that word!), and it oozes out in their attitudes and responses to other people.
A wise woman many years ago helped me to see that chronic attitudinal deficiencies are really rooted in some sort of unhappiness, fatigue, or an inability to cope with life's challenges. Usually the apparent target of the cranky reply is not actually the cause of the crankiness. It can be a major drag be with Mr. or Mrs. Chronic Cranky.
Unfortunately, the Crankies seem to be disinterested in recognizing their own crankiness or in dealing with the root causes of their affliction.
When dealing with a Chronic Cranky, I figure I have three options: grin and bear it, decide not to interact with that person again, or explain how the person is coming across and risk getting my head bit off.
Oh, Lord, some days are just longer than others!
I think these are the three guys we need to rescue us from this situation: 
Our funny guy Ray said:
Most people who are grumpy, unhappy , or showing ingratitude are in need of a quiet word , an acknowledgment that they exist and are worthy of connection , it is often our inability to notice the frail attempts to reach out to us from those near by which sometimes forces them to go to extreme lengths to attract our attention.
I know this was offered as a "tongue in cheek" comment, but there is some truth to it. What I am trying to figure out is why these newly sour people do not respond to the first five or six acknowledgements of their needs, their existence and their worthiness of attention.
I understand the concept of turning the other cheek when we are hit, but some of us are starting to be bruised and battered.
