HomeQ&AFeeling very disheartened...Me siento muy abatida

Feeling very disheartened...Me siento muy abatida

12
votes

I learned this evening that a young man who is very near and dear to me may have been the victim of abuse. He is 21 years old and lives in a medical facility. One of his care providers may have taken advantage of this young man's inability to advocate for himself and for his own private space.

Fortunately, this sort of report is not frequent. 99.99% of the blessed people who work with this vulnerable population would probably lay down their lives to protect the fragile. However, when the .01% shows up on my radar, I become so very sad.

The investigation will start. One of three things will be declared: it clearly did not happen, it clearly happened, or the evidence is inconclusive.

Meanwhile, all people involved are living with contradictory feelings of rage, impotence, grief, and the family's understandable need to protect their vulnerable son on the one hand, and the total hope that there is a logical explanation that will immediately make sense on the other hand.

No life is immune from challenges. It may be tempting to look at another person and compare his/her life to yours. Maybe his life seems worse than yours; maybe her life seems better. However, as we grow more experienced in life, we recognize that every human being is faced with challenges, and at every given time everyone is doing the best they can. If I truly believe this, then I must also believe that the alleged aggressor is also doing the best that he/she can.

This brings me back to this despair I feel, this impotence to protect the vulnerable.

In my darkest moments, I am grateful that it is not I who will close the books on this or on any value judgment. God closes the books.

Thanks, dear friends at Spanisdict, for letting me share this with you. It is a difficult time - somewhat suspended in mid air - waiting for the next step in the process, the next piece to be uncovered.

Whatever that next step turns out to be, I remember the older brother of this young man in question. When they were still quite little and the younger one had to be suddenly moved to a medical facility, the older brother quipped "It's a good thing that Jesus is driving this family's bus. We know what the final destination is; we're just not sure which route we're taking."

I guess that's why it's called "faith", right?

Thanks for listening...Mountaingirl

3053 views
updated MAY 27, 2010
posted by mountaingirl123

15 Answers

5
votes

Patti, I am so sorry to hear this. I truly hope the allegations are false for your sake and for the sake of the young man.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers concerning this situation. I believe God will be able to use you in a special way to be of comfort to this family.

My own mother-in-law suffered a brain hemorrhage when she was 67. She was paralyzed and unable to speak for the last twelve years of her life. Unfortunately, after the death of my father-in-law, we had to leave her alone with home health care workers and eventually in several facilities. It was very difficult and heartbreaking seeing even small abuses (being left without water, changing and general attention on occasion). I can't imagine what it would be like to know a loved one had faced serious abuse, with no one nearby to protect them.

Please keep us updated y no se olvide:

Todo lo puedo en Cristo que me fortalece. Filipenses 4:13

updated MAY 24, 2010
posted by Nicole-B
Nicole, I can relate to what you have been saying. I was bullied at boarding school and had no-one who could really protect me like Joseph in OT I came our stronger through Gods Amazing Grace - FELIZ77, MAY 24, 2010
I am not saying my experience was in any way comparable just that I can identify with his sense of vulnerability - FELIZ77, MAY 24, 2010
4
votes

Very well written and heartfelt post mountaingirl.

It is fortunate for us all here at spanishDict.com, that at the times in life when we feel the need to express our innermost feelings with friends, we have a vehicle to do this, and we know that our friends here will help us through these stressful life situations.

You certainly have my support and the support of everyone here.

The uncertainty of the situation must make it even harder for you emotionally.

I believe in taking the life situations that we can't control and putting them in the hands of God.

With the support of your friends, and your faith in God, all life situations can be coped with, at least to some extent.

So, if you need to write us again, feel free to do so...we are here for you!

updated MAY 24, 2010
posted by Rolest
4
votes

Thank you for sharing your pain mountaingirl. Does your friend share his older brother's faith? I pray that he does ... and that you do as well. Only God can give us the strength to get through difficult times like these!

updated MAY 24, 2010
posted by waltico
3
votes

Thanks for sharing this with us, the Mountaingirl. You are very kind. Let's wait for the investigation

updated MAY 24, 2010
edited by Fidalgo
posted by Fidalgo
2
votes

Mountain Girl I was both saddened and grieved to hear of this young man's alleged experiences while in the care of this medical facility whose care he should have been secure and kept safe from harm. I have prayed and will continue to pray for him and his family that God will bring them through this difficult time stronger. Thank God we can have this faith in God through Jesus which gives us hope that God is in ultimate control of his world - however circumstances may appear- and it gives us the courage to face each day with renewed hope doesn't it? (Hope based on the certainty of God's Character revealed in scripture)

updated MAY 24, 2010
edited by FELIZ77
posted by FELIZ77
2
votes

I will keep him and his family and you in my prayers, Mountaingirl. Sometimes, that is all we can do, and that is powerful, es verdad?

updated MAY 24, 2010
posted by sanlee
2
votes

Let's just hope that the 99,99% will do their best to prevent and/or punish the remaining wicked 0,01%. Keep the faith, Mountaingirl.

updated MAY 24, 2010
posted by Issabela
2
votes

This young man has one thing in his favor and that is the support of good people. Thank you for sharing this with us and for being there for him , faith of course is always helpful but he is going to need a great deal of expert counseling to understand what has happened to him ,and also to make sure that he does not feel guilty or responsible in any way. I have been there and it can cause tremendous anxiety and turmoil if not handled correctly. you have our love and feelings of well being to send to him. Loving kindness to you and much compassion in your support.

updated MAY 24, 2010
posted by ray76
1
vote

Oh my goodness, how terrible for all of you. I am so sorry to read this, l will also pray and hope that you and everyone concerned will get through this. Te abrazo.

updated MAY 24, 2010
posted by margaretbl
1
vote

There is the legal side of this, for which you are waiting the outcome, and the personal side. What ever happens with the investigation I think more healing will come from the personal side.Even when trials are won there are feelings that do not factor into a legal equation.

Be there for the child and the family as you are. I hope things work out for the best for everyone.

updated MAY 24, 2010
posted by nizhoni1
1
vote

Patti,

I'm so sorry that you have this pain, and I'm glad that you've come here to share it with us. We are like family here and we truly care about what's going on in your life.

Abuse is awful and the only way we can move on is to come to realize what you said "....then I must also believe that the alleged aggressor is also doing the best that he/she can." It's not that we condone or forget or leave the abuser unpunished, but we must (in order to move on with our lives) accept that the abuser is a sick person who deserves pity...along with punishment.

Be well, amiga.

updated MAY 24, 2010
posted by --Mariana--
0
votes

Latest update on this issue here, sad storydowner

updated MAY 27, 2010
posted by 00494d19
0
votes

Hello, I just wanted to tell you I can empathize a bit. My wife and I found out a few years ago that our son had been sexually molested by a close family member, a memory that my son had suppressed all of his life. I can't tell you the pain I felt for my son, and at the same time I had murder in my heart for the person that perpetrated this horrendous thing. Fortunately, it was the death of this person that brought all this out, my son didn't want to go to the funeral, and after much discussion and asking 'why', he finally told us. He was 32 years old when this all came out. It would take a book to tell you the road that we have traveled. My son still suffers but is doing better now, my wife and I dealt with the guilt of not knowing that this had happened to our little boy. I really think that the person that did this died early in their life because of this, I really don't know that but that's how I feel. I know everyone's situation is different, but I hope that everything works out. Those that perpetrate crimes against the innocent are wicked people of the highest order.

I only know that you hurt, and the emotions run the gamut. My heart grieves with you. May Jesus be your peace.

updated MAY 24, 2010
posted by Jack-OBrien
0
votes

This is always sad to hear, a young person being abused. I hope for him, he will be able to move on and not be marked for life, that would really be the worst. confused

updated MAY 24, 2010
posted by 00494d19
0
votes

Patti, I trust you are fervently praying for the family and it sounds like you are there for the young man involved in this situation. I can only hope and pray that justice will be served and the truth will come to light. If the person is guilty or innocent I pray for a swift investigation, these can be very long in nature, and comfort to the young man come quickly. Eph 1:13-14.

updated MAY 24, 2010
posted by Jason7R
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