HomeQ&AMexican culture...?

Mexican culture...?

4
votes

I love my husband very deeply, but I am so sick and tired of what he calls his "culture." Is it really customary for "Mexicans" to always be together? No offense to anyone, but its almost as if they roam around in packs, and its getting so old!! I love him, and I want to be with him, but I'm more than tired of him ALWAYS having his friends and family around. Now I don't mind him hanging with his friends/family, but I would really enjoy some "me" time. Correction, I NEED some "me" time. Every single "Mexican" man I've met is like this and my question is, is this really a cultural thing? Or have I just landed the king of morons?

2621 views
updated MAY 23, 2010
posted by KatieLou

7 Answers

2
votes

I agree with what Julian wrote... regardless of culture, if you are married he should make some accomodation for you in order to make the relationship work. Although you will have to accept his attitudes toward family and friends as immutable to some degree, he needs to accept your need for "us time" in the same way. A relationship can't function without compromise.

updated MAY 23, 2010
posted by aceydoubleyou
1
vote

Its part of the culture.

updated JUN 9, 2013
posted by Rey_Mysterio
1
vote

It sounds to me that you are not very happy in the relationship but that you would really like it to work and be like it must have been when you were in that first flush of love. Why not arrange a dinner date for the two of you and at the end of a candle lit dinner quietly and lovingly explain to your man exactly what you want from each other , maybe he is feeling the same way, and is using his family as a way of telling you that he is not happy either , you must try to communicate and save what you must have once had together. Good luck and love to you both. grin

updated JUN 9, 2013
posted by ray76
1
vote

Sorry but the answer is... yes... but despite I'm Mexican I don't hang out with my big family since I rarely visit them and I don't want them all the time at home.. we're too different and I reallly enjoy peace and calm. If he is un the US then don't even expect he stop visiting or having them at home too frequently!

updated MAY 23, 2010
edited by AntMexico
posted by AntMexico
1
vote

Honestly if you can generalize (and usually you cannot) my personal experience is that most 'Latino' types have a much deeper connection with their families. They really seem to 'need' them around more - good that you vented here but you know what, just make some 'me' time with him. Just tell him straight out - you want to go on an exclusive date with him alone. He'll get it! And do this whenever you need it.

updated MAY 22, 2010
posted by margaretbl
1
vote

As already mentioned, family ties in Mexican culture are very strong. The constant hanging-around-with-friends thing, while leaving you on your own, is a matter of lack of maturity. And this can happen at various ages. A lot depends on how the person has been raised.

updated MAY 22, 2010
posted by 005faa61
0
votes

I have no problem with his spending time with family or friends, I actually encourage it (to a degree), but he needs to also realize that I am also a part of his family now. This is really the only thing between us that causes problems. I've made compromises with him over this, and it works for a bit, but after a few weeks it goes right back to the way it was. It is driving me insane! I love my friends and my family (we're really close as well), but I'm not afraid to stand up and say "We can't hang out today, my husband and I need some alone time." I've talked to him about this, but it seems as though it's falling on deaf ears. We've never had a home to ourselves either. After we were married, his brother fell on some hard times and we decided that he could move in with us until he could get back up on his feet. THAT WAS A YEAR AGO, and he's still here!! We can't go to dinner alone because someone always manages to talk him into allowing them to go. Every single day when he gets off work, they show up and don't leave until all the food and drinks are gone, and he's ready for bed. I think I'm going to go insane!! I just don't know what to do anymore without having to pack my bags and leave before he realizes that we need time to ourselves in order to make "us" work and go the distance.

I'm sorry, I just need to vent a little bit.

updated MAY 22, 2010
posted by KatieLou
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