Use of ser or estar for: I am still married
I know this sort of question has been asked over and over again, but I was just watching an episode of Friends in Spanish and this completely threw me.
Chandler is chatting with a girl he's dating, here's their conversation:
Ahí notamos que estábamos en Yemen.
Disculpa. ¿"Estábamos"?
Rick y yo.
¿Quién es Rick?
Mi esposo
Ah. ¿Entonces eres divorciada?
No.
Lo siento. ¿Eres viuda? O al menos eso espero.
No, estoy casada.
Why is estar used here? I thought that for relationships ser is supposed to be used. Is it because she is saying, "No, I am still married?
Thank you in advance 
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13 Answers
I would accept the regional differences answer, but if you needed to make a distinction between whether to use estar or ser in this context I would apply the CID method for differentiation.
I would opt for ser when making a classification distinction. Soy casada. I am a married person .vs. an unmarried person.
Estoy casada would refer more to a description, condition or state of being. I am a married person so expect me to act like one.
The regional usage would trump any of that since language is about communication, so if you wish to be understood....When in Rome....
Nametaken, you might not know this,,this is simply and plainly regional
We do not say soy casado in Spain, but look at Morbo's answer, they do this preferably. so you can choose yourself
Maybe a little anecdote from Churchill that some one can put into correct Spanish might help explain the difference.
Churchill had had a few too many drinks and a lady bebrided him with "Sir you are drunk!"
To which he replied "Madam, you are ugly. Tomorrow I will be sober"
It's somewhat similar to "Soy estudiante." Obviously most people will not be students all of their lives, but ser is used because at this point in time it is who the person is, Until a person is married, the ser names who/what they are even though the state may change in the future.
The regional usage would trump any of that since language is about communication, so if you wish to be understood....When in Rome....
Exactly, as in Spain you will hardly ever hear soy casado and here in Madrid you would get strange looks.
Soy casada. This indicates the state of being married, or in English "I am a married person.
Estoy casada. I am married. This is more descriptive.
Compare these two sentences.
El marinero es un (hombre) borracho. The sailor is (a) drunk(ard). This is his nature.
El marinero está borracho. The sailor is drunk. This is right now.
Not, perhaps, a good comparison with casada, but it does illustrate the difference. I do hope this helps you some.
Maybe this will help a little.
"Soy casada" o "Estoy casada". Un enigma transcendente.
Muchas veces solemos usar indistintamente cualquiera de las dos. Creo que depende mucho de los regionalismos y de la forma de hablar de la persona.
"Ser" es un verbo ‘esencial’. Ser define el sujeto, es decir, señala una característica que puede ser permanente o accidental, ya que eso no es de mayor importancia. Ser identifica el sujeto y el atributo. Estar, en cambio, es un verbo de ‘estado’ que señala cómo se encuentra en un momento determinado o siempre – no tiene mucha importancia- el sujeto. Además, los verbos españoles ser y estar a pesar de ser verbos tan distintos a veces se ‘neutralizan’, es decir, esta diferencia desaparece. Este fenómeno ocurre con determinados adjetivos como: ciego, viudo, casado, tonto, etc.
" ** Ser ** " is a verb esencial'. ** Ser ** defines the subject, that is to say, indicates a characteristic that can be permanent or accidental, since that is not of greater importance. ** Ser ** identifies the subject and the attribute. ** Estar **, however, is a verb ofestado' that indicates how it is certain in a while or always - the subject does not have much importance. In addition, the Spanish verbs **ser ** and ** estar ** in spite of being so different verbs sometimes `neutralizan', es decir, this difference disappears. This phenomenon happens with certain adjectives like: blind person, widower, married, silly, etc.
Soy (una mujer) casada > Soy casada
Heidita said:
.....this is simply and plainly regional
In Southern Mexico we were taught to say "estoy casada," however, it was noted that other parts of the country use "soy casada."
It's not that one is more descriptive and it's not that one is more permanent than the other....it's simply a regional thing (like Heidita says).
Bottom Line: you can use either "estar" or "ser" and you'll always be understood.
Thank you very very much everyone for all of your answers! 
I swear I'm not being deliberately obtuse but this just makes no sense to me!
Soy casada. This indicates the state of being married, or in English "I am a married person."
That makes sense, as being married is supposed to be a permanent state, especially as Spain was a very Catholic national where divorce wasn't allowed.
Estoy casada. I am married. This is more descriptive.
In what way is it more descriptive? It seems to me like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop... I am married right now, but I'm going to get a divorce in two weeks....
El marinero está borracho. The sailor is drunk. This is right now.
This makes sense to me on its own, but when you use it to explain estoy casada, it throws me for a loop. The sailor is drunk right now, but he's going to be sober in a few hours.
Am I making any sense why I'm confused?
I was surprised to learn the following in my last Spanish class:
To be married = estar casado/a
To be single/not married = ser soltero/a
I don't know why. Maybe someone else can answer that.
