Painful Mother's Day?
This is a difficult topic for me.
I have wrestled with this post, because I believe that it is wrong to give the impression of imposing guilt on women who are happy this Mother's Day. My post does not have that intent...if you are happy, that's great!
On the other hand, my heart is burdened for women who have empty arms on this day. Some women wish to have had children, but have none. Some women had children, but have lost them. Some women have children who are missing. Some women have children whose choices have brought tremendous pain to their lives.
I wish to say that I am thinking of you today. I have no answers, but I am thinking of you... I hope that you have found, or are finding, or will find a way to deal with this hurt in your lives.
My experience is that God never wastes our pain. My prayer is that you will find this to be true.
Most sincerely, Mountaingirl
11 Answers
Mountaingirl,
This is a very kind and thoughtful post. I myself have struggled with Mother's Day for a long time. My own mother decided when I was seventeen, that she no longer desired to be a part of my life. We never had a close relationship. She is still my mother, so I do not want to dishonor her with details. The only thing I can say is that she did not approve of my husband or the fact that I did not get married in the Roman Catholic Church.
I thought I would understand her decisions as I grew older. However, I am even more mystified now that my children have reached and passed the same stage in their lives. I can not imagine being separated from my own children, even if they made decisions in their lives that I did not agree with.
So I thank you for thinking of those who have difficulty with this day. Mother's Day is a bittersweet holiday for me. I am so thankful that I have great kids that make the sweet much more powerful than the bitter.
Well, my perspective is from being a son, who misses his mom. My mom was wonderful, and being with her during the 'dying process' was not something I want to endure ever again. Maybe I'm silly, I don't know. I'm 55 years old and things like this just 'get me' sometimes. It's been a few years, and the pain numbs, but you still remember. On the other side though, my wife also is a wonderful mother, my best friend who has stuck with me though the years. I tried to tell her Sunday how tremendous it has been to witness the expression of a mothers love for her children. Even though I would die for my children or grandchildren, there is something tangible in a mothers love that is on an entirely different level, something that just makes men stand back and be awestruck. My daughter is also a mother, she is my baby. She has endured incredible pain that was perpetrated on her through a horrible assault, and I was fortunate enough to be there and try to help her through. I have been amazed at how she has become such a loving mother to my grandson, and has persevered through everything to get where she is now.
There is nothing like a mom.
Your post reminds me of how very lucky I am to have a person who has accepted me as her child since my own mother died so many years ago. 
I'm not a mother, but what you said/wrote was definitely sweet.
Your post has really touched a lot of people. It also says a lot about the quality of this site and the people who use it that people can share such deep and painful experiences with each other.
Thank you so much Mountain Girl for your kind and thoughtful words. I have a son who has made some bad choices in his life and I am crying for him as I write. Your kind words make me hopeful that one day God will answer my prayers.
I agree with Jack.
It's been 2 years and 2 months since my mom passed away. And although we all continue on, Mothers' Day will never be quite the same, at least for me.
Very sweet post, Mountaingirl. It makes us all realize how lucky we are.
I feel very fortunate to have a family that loves me.
this was a sweet post for you to write to all of the woman who feel, per say, "left out"
There are many people who feel "outside" of today's festivities so no, I don't think this is at all inappropriate. In addition to all that you wrote, there are children who have been abandoned or damaged by their parents. To find a way to acknowledge others who may be struggling with sadness today is very thoughtful and as you made clear, does not at all denigrate or subtract from the joy of mothers and those families that are able to celebrate.
Thank you for your beautiful words.
