Poetry translation - Updated

Question

No sé si ésta es una idea que volará pero .......... La poesía es muy difícil de traducir y puede ser difícil de entender. Escribo poesía - generalmente cuando soy 'down'. Quiero traducirlo pero mi español no es bastante bueno.

I don’t know if this idea will fly but ........ Poetry is very difficult to translate and can be difficult to understand. I write poetry, usually when I am “down” I want to translate it but my Spanish is not good enough.

Maybe we could help each other out. Anyone willing to have a go at this one?

*Boxes

I’m packing today, I’m going away.

Going where? Going to what?

Going from where? Going from what?

I’m still me, am I not?

Boxes of memories left behind, put on the tip.

Boxes of memories to sweet to leave.

Boxes of the past, boxes of now.

Boxes of sounds, of laughter, of hopes and of tears.

Boxes of sunny days, boxes of winter showers,

Boxes of nights and boxes of days

and boxes of the ways we were.

Boxes, boxes with memories that spill out of them.

I’m packing those boxes today, I’m going away.

I’m still me, am I not?*

See suggested translation below.

Beautiful poem, Ian. Very poignant. - mountaingirl123, Apr 20, 2010

Nice post. Thanks for sharing this. :-) - --Mariana--, Apr 20, 2010

Ian, that is beautiful and vivid...brought many memories,,,Lucrecia - Lucrecia, Apr 20, 2010

Answer 1

I'll try with the first sentence:

Estoy empacando hoy, yo me voy

That looks great - thanks - ian-hill, Apr 20, 2010

Answer 2

Going where? Going to what?

Going from where? Going from what?

I’m still me, am I not?

¿Me voy...¿hacia dónde? ¿Hacia qué?

Saliendo...¿de dónde? ¿de qué?

Sigo siendo yo, ¿no?

I love your poem, Ian, and I can hardly wait to see the next installment!!

Hi Mountaingirl - Sorry to say that is it. No more instalments. Thanks for the suggestions :) - ian-hill, Apr 20, 2010

Answer 3

Boxes

A translation with a little help from my friends Marianne and Mountaingirl.

How does it sound in this Spanish? How could it be better? Gracias.

I’m packing today, I’m going away.

Estoy empacando hoy, yo me voy

Going where? Going to what?

¿Me voy...¿hacia dónde? ¿Hacia qué?

Going from where? Going from what?

Saliendo...¿de dónde? ¿de qué?

I’m still me, am I not?

Sigo siendo yo, ¿no?

Boxes of memories left behind, put on the tip.

Cajas de los recuerdos que dejaron atrás, puso en la basura.

Boxes of memories too sweet to leave.

Cajas de los recuerdos demasiado dulce para quedar atrás.

Boxes of the past, boxes of now.

Cajas del pasado, las cajas de ahora.

Boxes of sounds, of laughter, of hopes and of tears.

Cajas de sonidos, de risas, de esperanzas y de las lágrimas.

Boxes of sunny days, boxes of winter showers,

Cajas de días soleados, las cajas de lluvias de invierno

Boxes of nights and boxes of days

Cajas de noches y cajas de días

And boxes of the ways we were.

Y las cajas de como éramos.

Boxes, boxes with memories that spill out of them.

Cajas, cajas con recuerdos que se derrame fuera de ellos

I’m packing those boxes today, I’m going away.

Estoy empacando esas cajas hoy, yo me voy.

I’m still me, am I not?*

Sigo siendo yo, ¿no?