You may be cuban if...
Here is a list of you may be cuban if.......
add any you know or ask questions to clarify via personal message by clicking my name and scrolling to the bottom left hand and clicking that button
if you are not cuban, I encourage you to mention what is alike in your culture (mention where you are from)
please add your own you are cuban if..... if you know any
- You have or anyone in your family has been seen on Channel 7 shouting, "no castro, no problem"
- Your favorite song is "caballo viejo"
- You constantly say, if you were born in Cuba, "en Cuba era mejor... o en Cuba no pasa eso... etc" And if you were not born there, you constantly say "en Cuba era mejor... o en Cuba no pasa eso..." because that is the phrase you grew up with and its what you believe (or imagine).
- You have fished for shrimp at Biscayne Bay under a full moon.
- You wear a heavy duty 18 karat gold chain with many medals, at least one the size of a dinner plate.
- Your idea of "formal" is wearing a "guayabera"
- Your favorite words are, "oye", or "oh, y ven aca" when you are right next to the person.
- You think the perfect family should resemble the "que pasa USA" family.
- Your tradition is to kill a pig and roast it in the backyard or on the beach on Christmas Eve along with gigantic ollas of congri, yuca y don't forget el mojo.
- You call Beck's Beer "llave"
- You are a registered republican.
- You wake up to the shrieking of roosters in your backyard.
- You have used the terms "acere, mi socio, y consorte" within the last week.
- Your idea of a soft drink is "Malta Hatuey" "Sandia" or "Iron Beer"
- Your favorite flavors of milkshakes are Mamey, Papaya,,Guanabana or Trigo
- Your favorite Sunday sport is "Dominoes" and
- All the presets in your car radio are set to Radio FE
- You constantly say "Fidel se cae este ano"
- Your retirement fund is buying a lotto ticket every Saturday.
- You are a mechanic and your shop is your front yard.
- You still wear your shirt collar over your suit.
- You think "creolina" and vivaparub are the greatest inventions of time.
- You use words like, "Bipeame, Faxeame, Shipeame, and Taipeame"
- You tell everyone you had central A/C in your house in Cuba.
- You clean your teeth with a toothpick after eating.
- You tell/ask your mother, abuela or wife, "hazme cafe y traeme agua."
- Your wife uses really big rollers in her hair.
- You say "LA VAQUITA" instead of "Farm Stores"
You don't believe in "Brujeria" but respect it anyway.
You have the entire "HANSEL & RAUL" collection.
- You have a chemical dependence on Cuban Coffee after every meal.
- You have many religious statues in your house taller than you.
- You have a peculiar passion for wrist watches.
- You call PUBLIX, "EL PUBLIE"
- On outings, instead of water bottles, you bring la cafetera o el thermos con el cafe.
- You wear a Guayabera with shorts, nylon socks and dress shoes or strappy sandals.
- You have men in your family named Tito and Pepe and you have tias named Fefa and Juana.
At every birthday or party, there is an assortment of pastelitos de carne, guayaba, croqueticas and bocaditos, placed en la mesa next to el cake, so they come out en la foto to your primos en Cuba.
You criticize the way other hispanos speak.
You leave the house of your mami, tia or abuela smelling like sazon, bistec empanizado, or platanitos maduros.
- You always have guayaba con queso in your house and eat it as a dessert. 56.For lunch you have eaten una media noche with un batido de mamey and still wonder what a peanut butter and jelly sangwhich is.
- You eat arroz con picadillo at least once a week ( the rice cooker you have sitting on your kitchen counter).
- If you live in New Jersey (most likely Hudson or Union County), you visit Miami or Hialeah to visit family and if you live in Florida you visit New Jersey to see your family.
- You have Santa Barbara, San Lazaro and/or La Virgen de la Caridad in your living room, bedroom or your patio as well as on your chain with other religious medals and your American friends think the caramelos, apples and bananas are snacks.
- There is a huge picture of your sister's quinces on a wall for all to see along with every wedding and communion photo that fits in the house
- On every New Year's you wait till las doces to eat 12 uvas.
- The babies in the family like violetas (Augustin Reyes), and wears a "Dios me Bendiga" pin with an azabache or a cadena with medallas of all the saints.
- When you have a dolor de barriga, your abuela makes you pure de malangas and gives you tilo with manzanilla and anise for all ailments.
8 Answers
Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CubaLibre68, you're amazing!! I tried not to die of laughter when I read this! One word: GENIUS!!!! 
In the United States, there was a comedian, Jeff Foxworthy who started the epic joke, You Might be a Redneck if... For those unfamiliar with the term redneck, it used to be used as a disparaging term for a member of the white rural laboring class, especially in the southern United States. However, "rednecks" are everywhere...and you might be a redneck if...
- You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
- You think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company
- If you can burp and say your name or the alphabet at the same time
- You and your dog use the same tree.
- Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
- The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors
- You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took
- Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
- You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
- You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
- Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
- The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
- The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road"
- You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws
- You've ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a message that begins, "For a good time time call..."
- You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
- You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
- Three quarters of the clothes you own have LOGOS on them.
- You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
- You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren’t.
- You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
- You own more than three shirts with the sleeves cut off.
- You’ve ever had to turn your pickup truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions.
- After the Prom you drove the truck while your date hit road signs with beer bottles.
- Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
- You’ve ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
- Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
- The diploma hanging in your den contains the words “Trucking Institute.”
- The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are “Howdy!” “HEY!” or “How Y’all Doin?
- Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps.
- You have a very special baseball cap just for formal occasions.
- You own at least 20 baseball hats.
- You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
- You set yourself, your house, or your garage on fire by deep fat frying a turkey for Christmas
Please remember, no swear words on this site. And certainly no praise of a dictator. 
This list is very funny.... Me reí mucho leyéndola.
All Latinamerican countries have some similarities, Perú es similar en las costumbres familiares de Cuba, los remedios, los santos, la cercanía de todos los miembros de la familia..... algo que se va perdiendo cuando venimos a vivir a USA.
Thank you CubaLibre 68 for sharing this valuable list with this group....
You may be an Aussie if..
- You think Woolloomooloo is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
- You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
- You think it's normal to have a prime miniser called Kevin.
- You know that Stubbies can be worn...or drunk.
- You can translate "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas"
- You have the ability to compress several words into one, ie, "g'day" and "d'reckn?" - this allows more space for profanities.
- You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasions via you nose.
- You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle...
Muchísimas gracias. Me gusta mucho Cuba. Voy a visitar este país cuando tenga tiempo libre. ¡Viva Cuba! ***
What a hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Hehehehehehehe!!!!! Thats typical Aussie slang!! Sometimes I think we have our own little language!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On the way to the servo I had to stop off at the bottlo, then I went to maccas!!!
He empezado a leer un libro por una de las hermanas de Fidel y Raúl; se llama "Mis hermanos Fidel y Raúl". Sólo estoy en el cuarto capítulo, pero lo que ella dice me parece muy interesante. Ella se huyó de la isla en los años sesenta. Actualmente vive en Miami.
Ella tampoco está a favor de la dictadura.
