-Lullaby- Please read and comment C:

Question

Lullaby

I glance up at stars and pray upon my bed,
I start to sing a lullaby which looks a lot like this.
You twinkle and twirl,
You sing for the world,
You want to become a singer for me.

 

The worlds on your shoulders,
You’re not sure on life but this is your lullaby.
Slip on your slippers and dance on the stage,
Your fright will not stop you my child,
I’m by your side, all of the time,
So will this lullaby.
Here is my heart,
It’s given to you,
For your sake of loving the world,
They’ll love you my dear, do not be shy,
For this is your lullaby.
You’re Lullaby,
You’re Lullaby,
You’re Lullaby,
You’re Lullaby…
Careful you are with your words,
Your minding for you will not disobey,
Worried from trouble, I’m on you’re side,
I made you this lullaby.
Lullaby,
Lullaby,
Lullaby,
Lullaby.

I'm waiting for the spanish version :) - cheeseisyummy, Dec 2, 2009

Mber-1-y - I tried to fix the line by line formatting. I hope you like it. I thought it should look as good as it sounds. - Moe, Dec 2, 2009

Answer 1

You're is just fine thank you.

Not arguing, just wondering why you made the change from your to you're :) - sunshinzmommie, Dec 23, 2009

Answer 2

Change "You’re Lullaby," to "Your Lullaby" please. God, it's one of the most annoying mistakes in English that no native speaker should ever make.

their, their, it isn't two bad of a mistake! (I'm so sorry, I couldn't resist!) - aloshek, Dec 4, 2009

lol! Their's a funny thing! (haha!) - june10, Dec 4, 2009

They're are sow man e miss takes that eye sea awl the thyme when won per son rights two sea if pee pull wood knot no if their homo phones git mixed up. Wii mite make moor miss use of hour words too retch the minds of begin nurse. - epicfail, Dec 5, 2009

who is to say she doesn't mean you are lullaby!? are you the writer? NO so don't decide what is meant - CubaLibre68, Dec 23, 2009

Answer 3

That's so good! It sounds like something that Mrs. Coulter would say to Lyra (If you;ve read His Dark Materials Trilogy) also, it sounds like something from The Books of Pellinor (if you've read them). ¡Me gustó mucha! ¡Qué bella!

Answer 4

Thats really cool! No corrections- just wanted to say that your lullabies, songs and poems are awesome, please keep writing them

Answer 5

Amber, we all love you