Changing from Ud. to tu form: When is it appropriate?

Question

I wish to be respectful when meeting my boyfriend's family and so will address them using the Ud. form. Is there any time at which it is proper to change to the tu form after getting to know someone? Or if they are my elders should I always address them in the Ud. form?

Thanks, Heidita - aloshek, NOV 11, 2009

Answer 1

You can always ask "tuteamos?" It's a polite way of asking someone if you can use the second person familiar with them.

Answer 2

¡I cannot get over the fact that there is a word for this! I would have never thought of looking for the answer in the dictionary. I am also surprised that this was never ever mentioned in any of my Spanish classes. Or am I just abnormal in wondering about this?

Answer 3

Of course, in English we don´t have and Ud. or tú form. I´m thinking that the following would be about the equivalent...

If I introduce my father to my boss. I would say, "This is my father, Mr. John Smith." The likely response would be, "It's nice to meet you sir, may I call you John?" If he were addressed as Mr. Smith every time they spoke that would institute a formality between them.

However if I was introducing a friend, I would simply say, " This is my father, John." The friend might still call him sir to be polite, but would never address him as Mr. By not using Mr. to introduce my father, I have already implied that they would have a casual and not a formal relationship.

Am I right in thinking that Ud. form is over-the-top and simply addressing the family members as Sr. Sra., etc. would be sufficient in order to be polite?

And would listening to how a person is introduced be a clue as to which form to use in the first place?

Answer 4

Or ¿puedo tutearte?

Answer 5

Hi aloshek, I have changed the title slightly to make it clearer what you are looking for.

We spoke about this before, but nothing so specific as your question, however, you might want to have a look

this is another thread.