Está bien? Does this work?

Question

Estoy aprendiendo Español y escribí una canción, pero no sé si las palabras funcionan en una canción. Alguién tiene correciones o algo para mejorar la cancion? Muchas Gracias!

Spanish is my 2nd language and I recently wrote a song in Spanish, but I don't know if the phrasing works or if it sounds awkward and I was wondering if I could get some feedback:

"Soy sufficiente para ti? Soy todo que quieres de mi? Porque cuándo veo a tu belleza, y esa magnificencia, sé que has llegado conocerme aquí, pero soy sufficiente para ti?

Thank-you!

Answer 1

It doesn't sound bad but I do not have a great grasp on idoms yet and maybe there are some idioms that might fit better in this song for what you are saying. I like it though!! What you have is correct but the gurus will weigh, I hope, soon.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Esperas- or expect does get closer at what I mean.

Here's what I'm intending to say:

Am I enough for you? Am I all you want me to be? Because when I look at your beauty in its magnificence I know that you have come to meet me here. But am I enough for you?

Answer 4

I would like to see your English version of this song. There are some parts of it that don't click very well.

For example: "sé que has llegado a conocerme" --- What are you trying to say here. I don't find it coherent with the rest of the words.

¿Soy suficiente para ti? ¿Soy todo lo que tu quieres (esperas --- expect) de mí? Porque cuando veo tu belleza, en toda su magnificencia (in all its magnificence), sé que has llegado conocerme, pero, ¿soy suficiente para ti?

Thanks-- that helps quite a bit. - gracia23, NOV 10, 2009