HomeQ&AEstá bien? Does this work?

Está bien? Does this work?

1
vote

Estoy aprendiendo Español y escribí una canción, pero no sé si las palabras funcionan en una canción. Alguién tiene correciones o algo para mejorar la cancion? Muchas Gracias!

Spanish is my 2nd language and I recently wrote a song in Spanish, but I don't know if the phrasing works or if it sounds awkward and I was wondering if I could get some feedback:

"Soy sufficiente para ti? Soy todo que quieres de mi? Porque cuándo veo a tu belleza, y esa magnificencia, sé que has llegado conocerme aquí, pero soy sufficiente para ti?

Thank-you!

1533 views
updated NOV 10, 2009
edited by Nathaniel
posted by gracia23

4 Answers

1
vote

It doesn't sound bad but I do not have a great grasp on idoms yet and maybe there are some idioms that might fit better in this song for what you are saying. I like it though!! What you have is correct but the gurus will weigh, I hope, soon. smile

updated NOV 10, 2009
posted by Jason7R
0
votes

.

updated NOV 10, 2009
edited by gracia23
posted by gracia23
0
votes

Esperas- or expect does get closer at what I mean.

Here's what I'm intending to say:

Am I enough for you? Am I all you want me to be? Because when I look at your beauty in its magnificence I know that you have come to meet me here. But am I enough for you?

updated NOV 10, 2009
posted by gracia23
0
votes

I would like to see your English version of this song. There are some parts of it that don't click very well.

For example: "sé que has llegado a conocerme" --- What are you trying to say here. I don't find it coherent with the rest of the words.

¿Soy suficiente para ti? ¿Soy todo lo que tu quieres (esperas --- expect) de mí? Porque cuando veo tu belleza, en toda su magnificencia (in all its magnificence), sé que has llegado conocerme, pero, ¿soy suficiente para ti?

updated NOV 10, 2009
edited by 0068e2f4
posted by 0068e2f4
Thanks-- that helps quite a bit. - gracia23, NOV 10, 2009
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