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Please proofread this paragraph [Edited]

Please proofread this paragraph [Edited]

2
votes

Thanks you so much to those who helped me smile

1651 views
updated Nov 8, 2009
edited by victory92
posted by victory92
I voted because I liked the story. Too newbi to help proof. - jamesgv0r, Nov 8, 2009

3 Answers

1
vote

que era el babé = bebé

los niños creen que los Reyes Magos los dan a ellos = you need to take out the 'los niños, "creen que los...."

These should get you started and I will look at it again in a bit!

Very goo draft!! Your Spanish is good smile

updated Nov 8, 2009
edited by sunshinzmommie
posted by sunshinzmommie
1
vote

Es después de los 12 días de la Navidad.

Hoy día, niños reciben regalos de sus padres

Sin embargo, los niños creen que los Reyes Magos se los dan a ellos.

I don't understand why you keep switching back and forth between the impersonal and using ellos (los niños).

updated Nov 8, 2009
edited by 0074b507
posted by 0074b507
1
vote

Ellos fueron el oro, la mirra y el incienso.

Why not say "Estos eran oro, mirra, e incienso" I think this sound better than "ellos" which could be confused with "los Reyes Magos."

or: "con tres regalos: oro, mirra e incienso."

Also, take out the "ellos" when referring to the children; simply conjugate the verb. smile

I am not always correct, but I am close. Somebody will correct me if I am wrong!

updated Nov 8, 2009
posted by sunshinzmommie