Just looking for some comfort... i guess...

Question

I just heard today my aunt is in the hospital connected to a ventilator. Had a massive stroke and while under some surgery a heart attack. Chances are she won't make it until tomorrow, and if she does she'd be exceeding the doctor's prognosis'.

Guess I just needed to vent some, and I'm sorry if I'm depressing someone. I'm just feeling alone, and I'm far away from her and my mom, so I can't give them a hug for a while.

Answer 1

My prayers go out to your family.

thanks very much. the worst of it all is not being able to comfort anyone in person, only having my phone to do so. i need a hug. - zenejero, OCT 25, 2009

Virtual hugs from me and my family :) - sunshinzmommie, OCT 26, 2009

Answer 2

I've often wondered if there was a way to make this "community" more effective in a way that people could feel sheltered and secure, not just as a site to learn Spanish. I would love for us to be more "there" for each other. I hope the best for you, and I most definitely know how it feels to be alone when you need someone.

thanks jeezle. i guess we can be, even if it is through words. knowing that even for a second you can read someone else is comfort in alonely times. - zenejero, OCT 25, 2009

Answer 3

zenejero:

I am in Canada. I have a son who has the same name as me but he lives in Australia. We are on other sides of the world, thousands of kilometers apart from each other. Some days, I miss him almost painfully. Isn't it amazing how elastic and how strong the family tie is.

My wish for you is, that you were not alone right now.

I have no platitudes for you. I can tell you that both my own parents died long ago. The grief of their passing was great. The sharpness of the grief eventually passes, but, I have never forgotten them and I hope I never will.

These will be hard times for you. Vent when you must. Get your comfort where you can.

May God be with you and your family.

Moe

thanks moe. i am in the u.s. and they're in southamerica and we had planned a big ol' [witches] family meeting, or as we call it in mapudungún, an aquelarre. now she won't be there, and it won't happen, and i know that at the very mention of her name... - zenejero, OCT 25, 2009

... i will be honoring her, but my mom and her daughter and grand-daughter will cry. and i cannot be there because of a zillion reasons. i lived with my aunt, and i'm happy for all the years we had together, for all the teachings she passed onto me... - zenejero, OCT 25, 2009

and the hugs and how strong and tough she was always. i don't feel sad for her death, i feel sad for the step between last night and whenever she goes, for that pain for her and the pain my mom and all the women in my family are experiencing, for not... - zenejero, OCT 25, 2009

being there. i want to hold my mom in my arms and tell her all the things in her face, but instead i'm left with phone words, with static and bad connection and my phone crashing. thanks a million moe. - zenejero, OCT 25, 2009

Answer 4

Querida Zenejero:

We are a community of people all over the world. Your loss will reach out to us all and I'm sure we want you to know that if there is any way we can support you from so far away, we do it willingly.

When all the hustle and bustle of the preparation and funeral have passed and the mourners have gone back to their own busy lives, stay in touch frequently with your mom. She'll need that.

For now, pour yourself a cuba libre with rum and coke and celebrate your aunt's life as you enjoy her favourite rum. Take some quiet time. Look after Zenejero.

As it is for Seitheach, so it is for me. You are in my prayers.

Love and comfort,

Moe

Answer 5

Hi zenejero, we would like to express our sympathy for you in this diffcult moment. Feel free to tell us how you feel, it might get some weight of your shoulders.

thanks heidita. i'm just down and tired... tired of not being able to help much and spending too much time at work thinking about other things, things that matter more. - zenejero, OCT 27, 2009

Answer 6

Well, you came to the right place. I've got pretty darn absorbent shoulders. You just rest easy knowing that this mama is praying for you and your aunt tonight. I lost my own mama at a young age, and I understand pain and sorrow. On the other hand, my mama taught me that our lives aren't meant to come out even, they just overlap. We're with you...

thanks. my mom's still with me, but we're a tight female family... there's only women on that side, and she'd be the first one to go. my mom hurts deeply and i try to reassure that it's going to be fine, that she'll be fine wherever she goes, but ... - zenejero, OCT 25, 2009

It's difficult, very very difficult, especially to see your mom hurting so much. Time pases and we do grow older, and it's a bittersweet experience. People come and go in our lives, but the only true Rock is the One who never leaves us, never forsakes u - mountaingirl123, OCT 25, 2009

funny enough i said something like this to my mom a few minutes ago and she said i remind her of gramma, who is know 93 and just sighed when they told her my aunt's dying. after, she only said 'well, we're all going in the same direction' and went to bed. - zenejero, OCT 25, 2009

Grandma sounds like a wise woman. - mountaingirl123, OCT 26, 2009

gramma rocks. she lost her sight a year ago and has sever arthritis in her knees but still knits a sweater in two days. no dropped stitches, and fits wonderful. she's da bomb! - zenejero, OCT 26, 2009

Answer 7

It's hard to know if it's better to feel helpless at a distance or helpless at the bedside. Take care of yourself.

i know that feeling... it's strange right? but thanks, nizhoni1! - zenejero, OCT 25, 2009

Answer 8

Zenejero, I'm so sorry for your pain and great sense of loss.

Please know that I'm praying for peace for you and your family.

--Marianne

thanks marianne.... thanks so much! - zenejero, OCT 27, 2009

Answer 9

Last week I was told my grandfather probably won't last three more days. He is my favorite person in the world and my brother and I are both in Iraq not able to go home to see him.

I know exactly how you feel. My only comfort is that I know my family is there to comfort each other as they are all very close.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

HI Phil, my first thought were you this morning when I say the terrible news in the newspaper....I am glad you are well - 00494d19, OCT 26, 2009

Thank you Heidita. - Seitheach, OCT 26, 2009

hi Seitheach (phil?), i'm sorry about your grandfather. my favorite grandfather died a decade ago on my birthday, and i was not there with him, but i got the call when he died. i take comfort in my family supporting each other, but my mom is doing... - zenejero, OCT 27, 2009

not so great, which is why my brother, gramma and i worry: she was extremely close to her sister, and she's in pain right now. - zenejero, OCT 27, 2009

Answer 10

ay k pena, espero k estas bien y k dios te bendiga y tu familia

muchas gracias, dominicana.... te agradezco tu post y tus bendiciones. - zenejero, NOV 5, 2009

Answer 11

I am truely sorry for your loss. If only time could wait for us while we are away, but this is never the case. Please know that you will be in my prayers. I wish you comfort and peace.

thank you very much. i truly appreciate your comment and the time you took to even read my post. as i said in it, i guess i'm looking for some comfort, and i am happy to say i've found some here. and you're right... i wish i could have seen her again ... - zenejero, NOV 5, 2009

as she was: noisy, loud and exaggerated... a diva in long skirts. but alas, distance, time and life just made it otherwise. i'm happy she's resting now. - zenejero, NOV 5, 2009

Answer 12

so... my aunt departed this life yesterday. i haven't been able to talk to my own mom, but my brothers tell me she's completely heartbroken yet a bit more relieved: the past few weeks have been hard for her, as seeing her sister and best friend plugged into machines has not been good for her.

so yes, i am relieved, as at least i know that wherever she is, she is finally resting. whatever one's personal belief is, whether it is afterlife, heaven, or becoming one with earth, i know she's enjoying it and turning it into a loud party and drinking rum with davy jones and the reaper while playing poker!

good bye aunt, and see you next time!