HomeQ&AHello! I need some proofreading help...

Hello! I need some proofreading help...

1
vote

Hello! I'm writing a composition and could really use some help with a few sentences.

1) Desgraciadamente, yo aprendí que una vida en biología del marino no era mi llamado

I am trying to say: Unfortunately, I learned that a life in marine biology was not my calling.

2) Tener este trabajo en este atmósfera significaría que habría tenido de salir mi familia y donde me maduré.

I am trying to say: To have this job, in this atmosphere, means that I would have to leave my family and where I grew up.

3) Este pedazo de coral está también muy importante para mi porque cuando era joven, no sabía como de mayor quise ser y después yo recibí este coral, me convertí muy intersado en el océano.

I am trying to say: This piece of coral is also very important to me because when I was young, I did not know what I wanted to be and after I received this coral, I became very interested in the ocean.

4) Está divertido nadar en el océano y mirar los pezes pero decidí que saldría el divertido a eso

I am trying to say: It is fun to swim in the ocean and to look at the fish, but I decided that I would leave the fun at that.

1556 views
updated AGO 31, 2009
edited by mmfhlax18
posted by mmfhlax18

4 Answers

2
votes

1) Por desgracia, he aprendido que una vida en biología marina no era lo mío.

That "he aprendido" doesn't sound quite right, anyway. I would say:

Por desgracia me he dado cuenta de que no he nacido para la biología marina.

2) Tener este trabajo en este atmósfera significaría que tendría que dejar a familia y donde crecí.

"Me maduré" would be "I ripened myself".

3) Este pedazo de coral es también muy importante para mí, porque cuando era joven, no sabía qué quería ser y después [ ] de recibir este coral, me volví una persona muy interesada en el océano.

I haven't suppressed other YO's, because maybe you can use them given the right context, but this one is simply unacceptable.

"Convertir" requires "en".

4) Es divertido nadar en el océano y mirar los peces pero decidí que abandonaría esa diversión.

Never use "z" if you can achieve the same sound with "c". "Salir" means "to go outside".

updated AGO 31, 2009
posted by lazarus1907
1
vote

Thanks a bunch! smile

updated AGO 31, 2009
posted by mmfhlax18
0
votes

1) No fue mi vocación

updated AGO 31, 2009
posted by Eddy
No ERA mi vocación. Otherwise, it wasn't already even before she learnt about it. - lazarus1907, AGO 31, 2009
0
votes

esta atmósfera

Maduré (did that come from another thread) I actually think crecí is more common here as matured usually has the nuance of emotional or spiritual growth rather than aging.

para mí

interesado

me convertí (a) me convertí en doesn't look correct. I'd use ponerse, hacerse or something of that ilk I can't think of the reason, but I believe that it should be "es" muy importante para mí again

peces

I don';t see divertido listed as a noun. you would probably need to use diversión or gusto

I'd make all of these minor corrections and then let a native look at it. I think you have some things wrong that I'm not competent to tell you how to remedy.

A little late, but I actually had a few correct.

updated AGO 31, 2009
edited by 0074b507
posted by 0074b507
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