Looking for some feedback
0
votes
I wrote these lyrics the other day and wanted to see if they make sense (are correct).
If anyone has pointers/advice, it would be appreciated, thanks. 
Me despierto cada mañana, pensando en ti
Y cada noche, no puedo dormir
La luz en sus ojos
Me hace sentir vivo
Y el día que nos encontramos
Siempre dejarme bendecido
2307 views
updated Aug 15, 2009
edited by gabeLujan
posted by gabeLujan
QFreed: so are you saying I should use "tu" instead of "ti" and "tus" instead of "sus". Yes, it is a love poem. - gabeLujan, Aug 13, 2009
No, I'm saying that you can't mix formal and informal. Ti is fine, but then you must stay informal and use tus and haces (informal everywhere). It you had used en usted then you would not be mixong tones, but you don't want to be formal in a love poem. - 0074b507, Aug 13, 2009
Okay, that makes sense. Thank you very much! - gabeLujan, Aug 15, 2009
1 Answer
0
votes
Your first sentence uses ti, your 2nd sentence uses sus (not tus)
Me hace; not me haces
This is a love poem, is it not?
updated Aug 13, 2009
edited by 0074b507
posted by 0074b507
