Gambol is generally only used to describe the play of animals such as fawns, rabbits or infrequently, very young children. I suggest to apply it to anyone over the age of say 16 or 17 would not be common modern usage.
'Gibe? is also not a word in common usage, except in the job of sailing a sailboat where it has a completely different meaning.
''' I think both of these are good English language words. Maybe they are not much used in modern conversation, still both of them are concise and descriptive.
You must be thinking of the word "jib" with your comment about a sailboat.
And then to make some comments on the Spanish version of your work, consider the following:
midiendo el saco de la vida = measuring the coat of the life
I am not aware that there is a similar English metaphor or simile to this Spanish language metaphor.
''' Metaphors do not require precedents. The issue is not familiarity (which tends
to triteness and cliché); rather, whether the sense of meaning comes across.
For that reason, I suggested changing the English description.
ojos negros = black (dark) eyes
I understand but do not like the description 'black-eyed'. Your intended meaning is to describe the deep black colour or 'her? eyes. Unfortunately, in English, black-eyed may also mean to have black bruising around the eyes as a result of a punch in the eye. This is sometimes more commonly called a 'shiner'. Also some accident causing an injury to the area of the eye may leave it blackened.. Almost always, the difference in meaning would be known from the context, but, it might be better to avoid it.
''' In the context, there is NO reason to think that she has a "black eye" (yet)
objeto de sus admiraciónes = object of their admiration
Here we have more than 1 guy so we have more than one form of admiration. Would 'suS? and 'admirationES? be better here in Spanish?
'''yes: i think this is correct: a change has been made in the master document
agarrándose al borde = taking hold of or grabbing the edge
I was not able to imagine under what circumstances 'she? might take hold of or grab his outer covering. Somehow, I could see her, in my imagination, gripping his serape when resting beside him or when frightened. Otherwise, the picture didn't come to me.
''' She moves close to him
as the friends gather round
she clutches the edge of his serape
Los chavos = Guys (Ante Meridian & Central America & Mexico)
I added the idea that the guys are 'country bumpkins'. I think most North Americans understand the concept that bumpkins are not sophisticated nor clever but are simple honest people. They are seen as awkward, simple and rustic.
chivean y juegan a pelearse uno con otro = (I presume you meant CHIVAN and not CHIVEAN)so that the phrase translates as 'annoying and play fighting with one another?
''' "chivear" is a common popular expression - it may not be correct formal usage
Based on my above comments and findings I have edited and re-written my own English language version of your work as follows:
The guys in the pack are all country bumpkins. They are still naive and maturing. They are trying to establish their place in life and in their world. For all their loyalty to their leader, they still covet his prize.
His prize is his precious dark-eyed woman-child. She is an innocent who is contented and enraptured just to be next to him. She believes that just to be allowed to grip his serape completes her. She is only complete when she is with him.
The guys poke, jab, tumble and wrestle with each other in mock displays of manhood. They want to catch her attention. Each of them wants to win her away from their leader who they know holds her without even touching her. She is the reason for their hopeless macho behaviour. Yet, they dare not look at her with wanting eyes. They only show off in the vain hope of catching her eye and her attention.
''' Not bad. Only uses twice as many words to say just about the same thing.