HomeQ&AToda la mañana Aurora ha estado callada en su silla; Corrections? Improvements? either language

Toda la mañana Aurora ha estado callada en su silla; Corrections? Improvements? either language

1
vote

scene 93 **********************************************************

Toda la mañana Aurora ha estado callada por las macetas en su silla;

ella no tiene opinión sobre nada, nada mas esta sentada allí babeando

All morning Aurora had been silent by potted plants in her chair;

she does not have an opinion on anything, she sits there drooling.

Alegunda habla con ella misma, como una guardia para las muchachas;

“mi hermano tiene árboles de ciruelas, porque no vamos y las cortamos?”

Alegunda converses with herself, sort of as a guardian for the girls;

"my brother has hog plum trees, why don't we go over and cut some?"

Azucena mira hacia la desolación de su amor y en el patio vacío;

entonces sonria y empieza hacer jabón con agua para lavar la ropa.

Azucena looks out onto the desolation of her love and the bare patio;

then she smiles and begins making soapwater to begin beating laúndry.

3110 views
updated ABR 19, 2010
edited by Martin-Rizzi
posted by Martin-Rizzi

3 Answers

1
vote

All morning Aurora had been silent in her chair by some potted plants

This phrase gives the initial impression that the potted plants are doing something to silence her. I think it just needs to be reworded such as:

"All morning Aurora had been silent in her chair near some potted plants"

then she smiles and begins making soapwater to begin beating laúndry

making soapy water to start scrubbing laundry (would sound better not to use "begins" twice) -or- making soapy water for scrubbing laundry (or something similar)

updated ABR 18, 2010
edited by AKgal
posted by AKgal
muchas gracias amigo - Martin-Rizzi, ABR 18, 2010
0
votes

scene 93 **********************************************************

Toda la mañana Aurora ha estado callada en su silla

no tiene opinión sobre nada, nada mas esta sentada

All morning Aurora had been silent in her chair;

she does not have an opinion she is just sitting .

Alegunda habla con ella misma, sirve como guardia para las muchachas;

“mi hermano tiene árboles de ciruelas, porque no vamos y las cortamos?”

Alegunda converses with herself, serving as a guardian for the girls;

"my brother has hog plum trees, why don't we go over and cut some?"

Azucena mira hacia la desolación de su amor y en el patio vacío;

entonces voltea y empieza hacer jabón con agua para lavar la ropa.

Azucena looks out onto the desolation of her love and the patio;

then she turns and starts making soapwater to wash the laundry.

updated ABR 18, 2010
edited by Martin-Rizzi
posted by Martin-Rizzi
0
votes

scene 93 **********************************************************

Toda la mañana Aurora ha estado en su silla callada por las macetas ;

ella no tiene opinión sobre nada, nada mas esta sentada allí babeando

All morning Aurora had been silent in her chair by some potted plants;

she does not have an opinion at all, she is just sitting there drooling.

Alegunda habla con ella misma, sirve como guardia para las muchachas;

“mi hermano tiene árboles de ciruelas, porque no vamos y las cortamos?”

Alegunda converses with herself, serves as a guardian for the girls;

"my brother has hog plum trees, why don't we go over and cut some?"

Azucena mira hacia la desolación de su amor y en el patio vacío;

entonces voltea y empieza hacer jabón con agua para lavar la ropa.

Azucena looks out onto the desolation of her love and the patio;

then she turns and starts making soapwater to wash the laundry.

updated ABR 16, 2010
edited by Martin-Rizzi
posted by Martin-Rizzi
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