Ella esta dentro de su cuarto mientras se desmaya, está jadeando Corrections? Improvements? either language
scene 92 *******************************************************
Ella esta dentro de su cuarto mientras se desmaya, está jadeando;
acostada, tiesa hasta el amanacer, finalmente, el sueño la cubre.
She’s inside her room she is passing out she is panting;
she lies stiffly through dawn, finally sleep covers her.
Llega el alba, parece inconsciente acostada allí;
su cuerpo parece un árbol con las ramas mochadas.
Morning comes, seemingly she is unconscious lying there;
her body looks like a tree with its branches chopped off.
El gallo canta afuera, esta **tan orgulloso de despertar temprano;**
ella no desea, no piensa, no tiene esperanza o vida o amor o sueños.
Rooster **** crows he is so proud to be up in the morning;
she does not wish or think or hope or live or love or dream.
Pero cuando recordó y poso sus pies en la tierra y se paraba
empezó a sentir una energia que le llena y le lleva adelante
But when she woke up and put her feet on the ground and stood up
she began to feel an energy filling her and carrying her forward
2 Answers
put "se" on despertar cuz its a reflexive verb...the line with the rooster...uh idk if you want it translated loosely but the line about she doesn't wish or think...well you said she doesn't have hope, life, love or dreams...but those aren't the verb forms. like the words you used. those are adjectives but poems can be translated differently like it depends on what you want to get across. over all, a pretty poem
scene 92 *******************************************************
Ella esta dentro de su cuarto mientras se desmaya, está jadeando;
acostada, tiesa hasta el amanacer, finalmente, el sueño la cubre.
She’s inside her room she is passing out she is panting;
she lies stiffly through dawn, finally sleep covers her.
Llega el alba, parece inconsciente acostada allí;
su cuerpo parece un árbol con las ramas mochadas.
Morning comes, seemingly she is unconscious lying there;
her body looks like a tree with its branches chopped off.
El gallo canta afuera, esta tan orgulloso de despertarse temprano;
ella no desea, no piensa, no tiene esperanza ni vida ni sueños.
The rooster crows he is very proud to be up in the morning;
she does not wish or think or hope or live or love or dream.
Pero cuando recordó y poso sus pies en la tierra y se paraba
empezó a sentir una energia que le llena y le lleva adelante
When she woke up and put her feet on the ground and stood up,
she began to feel an energy filling her and carrying her forward.
