In your opinion, what is the difference between "te amo" and "te quiero"?
Given that Valentine's Day is near, I thought a little discussion about the difference between "Te amo" and "Te quiero" might be nice. Which is usually used between family members? Which would you say to your friends? Which do you say to kids? Would you get insulted if your boyfriend always said "te quiero" instead of "te amo"?
I always rather liked the way José José explained the difference in the song "Amar y Querer":
Casi todos sabemos querer
pero pocos sabemos amar
Es que amar y querer no es igual
Amar es sufrir querer es gozar
El que ama pretende servir
el que ama su vida la da
El que quiere pretende vivir
y nunca sufrir y nunca sufrir
El que ama no puede pensar
Todo lo da todo lo da.
El que quiere pretende olvidar
y nunca llorar y nunca llorar
El querer pronto puede acabar
El amor no conoce el final
Es que todos sabemos querer
pero pocos sabemos amar
El amar es el cielo y la luz
El amar es total plenitud
Es el mar que no tiene final
Es la gloria y la paz
El querer es la carne y la flor
es buscar el obscuro rincón
Es morder, arañar y besar
Es deseo fugaz es deseo fugaz
El que ama no puede pensar
Todo lo da todo lo da
El que quiere pretende olvidar
y nunca llorar y nunca llorar
El querer pronto puede acabar
El amor no conoce el final
Es que todos sabemos querer
pero pocos sabemos amar
el que ama no puede pensar
todo lo da, todo lo da
el que quiere pretende olvidar
y nunca llorar y nunca llorar
el querer pronto puede acabar
el amor no conoce el final
es que todos sabemos querer
pero pocos
sabemos amar
2 Answers
Well. Both "te quiero" and "te amo", mean "I love you". Now. "te quiero" is more likely to use with family and friends, while "te amo" is more common to use with couples.
(BUT, you can still use "te quiero" with your couple, although it would be less "intense", and you can still use "te amo" with your family and friends, but again, this would be a little "exagerated", but hey, these are all subjective popular interpretations)
Now, in the case of this song, I think he's not literally talking, this is more like a poetic issue.
I think that when he says that lot of people know how to "querer"*, but few people know how to "amar", he is referring to the fact that few people know how to love sincerely. Maybe because he thinks that "te quiero" is less, as I said before "intense". In this issue there are a lot of different opinions, though.
*Remember "querer" also means "to want", but as we saw, it may also mean "to love"
ESTO es amar:
El amor es paciente y benigno; El amor no tiene celos ni envidia; El amor no es presumido ni vanidoso; No hace nada indebido, ni es egoísta, irritable o rencoroso; No se alegra de la injusticia, mas se alegra si triunfa la verdad. El amor sufre sin desánimo, no desconfía de nada, no pierde la esperanza y soporta toda adversidad.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4
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Cuando sientas todo esto, puedes decirle que lo/la amas
