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The fled the place where the terrible battle had held and went to the South where they had heard of a land in the high mountains

The fled the place where the terrible battle had held and went to the South where they had heard of a land in the high mountains

2
votes

The fled the place where the terrible battle had held and went to the South where they

had heard of a land in the high mountains spoken of as a remote fortress and place of security.

They traveled and the Spanish men served them by carrying the loads which they added

to as they went along. By that time they had crossed the great valley and started to climb.

The rock mountains they crossed were very steep and they continued southwesterly seeking

Always the higher ridge, the way they remembered the story heard as children in the lodge.

So they climbed even higher until the pine forests were covered with cold mists and the

Spanish men acted as if they were afraid because they could not see where they were going

And by now they had learned to obey the obsidian points the women used to direct them

when they were slow. No one dared defy them remembering what happened to the captain

The captain was a typical macho who was a cavalier in his home province of Andalusia –

never having taken account, let alone orders from women, he rebelled at his submission.

He was taken in a strong and gentle manner by seven women while two others tied

ropes around both of his ankles and pulled – then Chalchihuihtotolin stripped him of his clothes;

There was no violence of either voice or gesture, the Spanish man was handled forcefully,

Ropes were quickly tied onto his wrists so four women controlled him as well as the others

Chalchihuitlicue stepped forward and she had a switch of desert grass in her hand

and Began to rub the dry grass against the plump behind of the Spanish captain as she said

(nahuatl)

she kept rubbing the dry grass across the white buttocks and expressing herself with words

he quieted and ceased to struggle when he had stopped struggling altogether she then said

(nahuatl)

Mayahuel steps forward smiling she has a bundle of desert bush “casahuistle” in her hand

The beating was pitilessly rhythmic ; only when he begged and begged them they stopped

After that, the captain was careful to not show disrespect to any of them or give any of them

cause to be dissatisfied with his attitude - the others followed his example in that.

By now they were in a cold high spot where there was no food only pine needles and they

Looked at each other and Itzapalotl stood out and said “follow me now we must continue”

The men could tell from her voice what she was saying and they got up right away before

The women take their obsidian-tip lances into hand and starting off to continue the journey

1928 views
updated FEB 6, 2010
edited by Martin-Rizzi
posted by Martin-Rizzi
This reminds me a lot of Gabriel García Márquez's writing style. This is well written, and interesting! Good job! - JCameron, FEB 5, 2010

4 Answers

2
votes

They fled the place where the terrible battle had taken place and went to the South where they

had heard of a land in the high mountains spoken of as a remote fortress and place of security.

As they traveled, the Spanish men served them by carrying the loads to which they added

as they went along. By that time, they had crossed the great valley and started to climb.

The mountains that they crossed were very steep and rocky but they continued southwesterly always seeking

the high ridge, the way they remembered from the story they had heard as children in the lodge.

So they climbed even higher until the pine forests were covered with cold mist and the

Spanish men acted as if they were afraid because they could not see where they were going.

By now they had learned to obey the obsidian points the women used to direct them

when they were slow. No one dared defy them remembering what had happened to the captain.

The captain was a typical macho man who was a cavalier in his home province of Andalusia –

never having taken account, let alone orders from women, he rebelled at his being over-powered.

He was taken in a strong but gentle manner by seven women while two others tied

ropes around both of his ankles and pulled – then Chalchihuihtotolin stripped him of his clothes;

There was no violence in either voice or gesture. The Spanish man was handled forcefully, (Note: just before, it is stated that he was taken in a strong and gentle manner, and here it says he is handled forcefully. It's a bit confusing)

ropes were quickly tied onto his wrists so the four women, as well as the others, could control him.

Chalchihuitlicue stepped forward with a switch of desert grass in her hand

and began to rub the dry grass against the plump behind of the Spanish captain as she said

(nahuatl)

she kept rubbing the dry grass across the white buttocks and speaking until

he quieted and ceased to struggle. And, when he had stopped struggling altogether, she then said

(nahuatl)

Mayahuel stepped forward smiling with a bundle of desert bush “casahuistle” in her hand.

The beating was pitilessly rhythmic; only when he begged and begged them did they stop.

After that, the captain was careful to not show disrespect to any of them or give any of them

cause to be dissatisfied with his attitude - the others followed his example in that.

By now they were in a cold, high spot where there was no food, only pine needles. They

looked at each other when Itzapalotl stood up and said “follow me now, we must continue”

The men could tell from her voice what she was saying and they got up right away to continue the journey before

the women could take their obsidian-tip lances into hand


I tried to keep the artistic voice as it was. This is very well written.

Note: you can also use the word Spaniard/Spaniards in place of Spanish man/men just to vary the words a little.

updated FEB 5, 2010
edited by aloshek
posted by aloshek
thanks - i am going to take it over to word and work on it - Martin-Rizzi, FEB 5, 2010
1
vote

They fled the place where the terrible battle had taken place going to the South where they

had heard of a land in the high mountains spoken of as a remote fortress and place of security.

As they traveled, the Spanish men served them by carrying the loads to which they added

as they went along. By that time, they had crossed the great valley and had started to climb.

The mountains that they crossed were very steep and rocky but they continued southwesterly

always seeking the high ridge, as in the story they had all heard as children in the lodge.

So they climbed even higher until the pine forests were covered with cold mist and the

Spanish men acted as if they were afraid because they could not see where they were going.

By now they had learned to obey the obsidian points the women used to direct them

when they were slow. No one dared defy them, remembering what had happened to the captain.

The captain was a tall macho man who was a cavalier in his home province of Andalusia

with a long habit of not taking women into account; he rebelled at his being over-powered.

He was taken in a powerful manner by seven women while two others tied ropes around

both of the man’s ankles and pulled – then Chalchihuihtotolin stripped him of his clothes;

Chalchihuitlicue stepped forward with a switch of desert grass in her hand and began

to rub the dry grass against the plump behind of the Spanish captain as she said to him

(nahuatl)

she kept rubbing the dry grass across the white buttocks and speaking until he quieted

and ceased to struggle. And, when he had stopped struggling altogether, she then said

(nahuatl)

Mayahuel stepped forward, smiling, with a bundle of desert bush “casahuistle” in her hand.

The beating was pitilessly rhythmic; only when he begged and begged them did they stop.

After that, the captain was careful to not show disrespect to any of them

or cause them to even frown at him - the others followed his example in that.

By now they were in a cold, high spot where there was no food, only pine needles. They

looked at each other when Itzapalotl stood up and said,Follow me now, we must continue”

The men could tell from her voice what she was saying and they got up right away to

continue the journey before the women could take their obsidian-tipped lances into hand

updated FEB 5, 2010
edited by aloshek
posted by Martin-Rizzi
I mostly just edited some punctuation. If click on the "editar" button at the bottom, you will see any changes made. Excelente! - aloshek, FEB 5, 2010
I wish I could write that fluently in Spanish! - lol - aloshek, FEB 5, 2010
0
votes

Any help with translations to Spanish is welcome.

updated FEB 6, 2010
posted by Martin-Rizzi
0
votes

They fled the place where the terrible battle had taken place going to the South where they

had heard of a land in the high mountains spoken of as a remote fortress and place of security.

As they traveled, the Spanish men served them by carrying the loads to which they added

as they went along. By that time, they had crossed the great valley and had started to climb.

The mountains that they crossed were very steep and rocky but they continued southwesterly

always seeking the high ridge, as in the story they had all heard as children in the lodge.

So they climbed even higher until the pine forests were covered with cold mist and the

Spanish men acted as if they were afraid because they could not see where they were going.

By now they had learned to obey the obsidian points the women used to direct them

when they were slow. No one dared defy them, remembering what had happened to the captain.

The captain was a tall macho man who was a cavalier in his home province of Andalusia

with a long habit of not taking women into account; he rebelled at his being over-powered.

He was taken in a powerful manner by seven women while two others tied ropes around

both of the man’s ankles and pulled – then Chalchihuihtotolin stripped him of his clothes;

Chalchihuitlicue stepped forward with a switch of desert grass in her hand and began

to rub the dry grass against the plump behind of the Spanish captain as she said to him

(nahuatl)

she kept rubbing the dry grass across the white buttocks and speaking until he quieted

and ceased to struggle. And, when he had stopped struggling altogether, she then said

(nahuatl)

Mayahuel stepped forward, smiling with a bundle of desert bush “casahuistle” in her hand.

The beating was pitilessly rhythmic; only when he begged and begged them did they stop.

After that, the captain was very careful to not show disrespect to any of them

or cause them to even frown at him - the others followed his example in that.

By now they were in a cold, high spot where there was no food, only pine needles. They

looked at each other when Itzapalotl stood up and said, “Follow me now, we must continue”

The men could tell from her voice what she was saying and they got up right away to

continue the journey before the women could take their obsidian-tipped lances into hand.

updated FEB 6, 2010
edited by Martin-Rizzi
posted by Martin-Rizzi
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