HomeQ&AEl se paraba; para nada avergonzado de tirarla al piso y le dice - Corrections? Improvements? either language

El se paraba; para nada avergonzado de tirarla al piso y le dice - Corrections? Improvements? either language

1
vote

scene 58 **********************************************************

El se paraba; para nada avergonzado de tirarla al piso y le dice

“levantate si no puedes soportar unos golpecitos no eres una mujer”

He stood there; not ashamed that he had floored her and he is saying

"pick yourself up; if you can’t take a few knocks you're not a woman"

El se veia tan seguro de si mismo. Ella lo miró a través de sus lágrimas;

ella no pudo evitar pensar “a la mierda con tu guapura eres un bastardo!”

He was so sure of himself. She looked at him through her tears;

she could not help thinking "Damn your good looks, you bastard!"

Los esfuerzos machistas de Arturo lo hacian verse grande para ella; él

era glorioso cuando la trataba como si le perteneciera y fuera su dios.

Arturo's macho exertions made him look big to her; he was glorious

when he would strike out at her as if he owned her and was her god.

Soportando una humillación como cal arrojada por él sobre su alma;

Azucena solamente podia esperar una dulce reconciliación salvadora.

Enduring humiliation heaped on her, the lime he poured on her soul,

Azucena could only wait and hope for a sweet saving reconciliation.

1499 views
updated JUL 18, 2010
posted by Martin-Rizzi

8 Answers

1
vote

"Damn your good looks, you bastard!"

I read this line in English as the woman being unable to resist his good looks despite his violence.

If she is rejecting him despite his good looks, a better translation might be along the lines of

"to hell with your good looks, you´re still/just a bastard"

updated ENE 29, 2010
posted by kattya
thanks! - Martin-Rizzi, ENE 29, 2010
1
vote

Also, I don´t know who your English-speaking audience is, but... to many people, "lime" is not very familiar, they could even read it as the citrus fruit. "Pouring acid" would be instantly recognizable, even though its chemically pretty much the opposite of lime...

updated ENE 29, 2010
posted by kattya
thanks for your comment - it is appreciated - Martin-Rizzi, ENE 29, 2010
1
vote

I think the translation is fairly complete. Let me take a crack at improving the English part.

He stood there; not ashamed that he had knocked her down and says

"stand up. if you can’t stand a few punches, you're not a woman"

He was very sure of himself. She looked at him through her tears;

she could not help but think "Damn those good looks, bastard!"

Arturo's macho courage made him look big to her; he was glorious

when he struck out at her as if he owned her and was her god.

Enduring the humiliation heaped on her, the lime he poured on her soul,

Azucena could only wait and hope for a sweet reconciling salvation.

updated ENE 29, 2010
posted by coolbee
0
votes

scene 58 **********************************************************

El se paraba; para nada avergonzado de tirarla al piso y le dice

“levantate si no puedes soportar unos golpecitos no eres una mujer”

He stood there; not ashamed that he had floored her and he is saying

"pick yourself up; if you can’t take a few knocks you're not a woman"

El se veia tan seguro de si mismo. Ella lo miró a través de sus lágrimas;

ella no pudo evitar pensar “a la mierda con tu guapura eres un bastardo!”

He was so sure of himself. She looked at him through her tears;

she could not help thinking "Damn your good looks, you bastard!"

Los esfuerzos machistas de Arturo lo hacian verse grande para ella;

él era glorioso cuando la trataba como si le perteneciera y fuera su dios.

Arturo's macho exertions made him look big to her; he was glorious

when he would strike out at her as if he owned her and was her god.

Soportando una humillación como cal arrojada por él sobre su alma;

Azucena solamente podia esperar una dulce reconciliación salvadora.

Enduring humiliation heaped on her, the lime he poured on her soul,

Azucena could only wait and hope for a sweet saving reconciliation.

updated JUL 18, 2010
posted by Martin-Rizzi
0
votes

the english-language reader will have to adapt to the spanish-language

meaning in the phrases where the reference is to something in a village

updated ENE 29, 2010
edited by Martin-Rizzi
posted by Martin-Rizzi
0
votes

Some links relevant to the Azucena Novela project

http://artcamp.com.mx/azucenanovela/azucena-to-the-rodeo/

Azucena To The Rodeo

http://artcamp.com.mx/azucenanovela/azucena-al-jaripeo-trailer/

spanish language version Azuena To The Rodeo Trailer

http://artcamp.com.mx/azucenanovela/azucena-to-the-rodeo-video/

english language version Azuena To The Rodeo Trailer

updated ENE 29, 2010
posted by Martin-Rizzi
0
votes

If you offer a translation you are prone to get responses rather than ask for an entire translation grin

updated ENE 24, 2010
posted by pilipina
0
votes

?¿

Azucena was written in both Spanish and English.

Neither version is a translation of the other.

updated ENE 24, 2010
posted by Martin-Rizzi
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